Salt and Sugar

     Captain Reeseas joined Vigie in the cave seconds later, lantern in hand. Orange-gold firelight licked the walls.

     “This is the right place,” the chocolate draik said, nodding at a piece of crude cave art. He’d carved it himself during their last visit. “Let’s take our plunder and set sail for home.”

     Vigie snapped a clumsy salute. “Aye, aye, Captain. I’ll follow your lead.”

     Reeseas hesitated, adjusted his hat, and then strode into the gloom. Vigie scurried after him. He would have felt safer walking side by side, but the passage was too narrow to allow it. Their footsteps echoed endlessly—ominously—around them. In the distance, something creaked and skittered. A petpet, perhaps? Or another neopet waiting for them? Vigie’s spine turned to ice. If only he’d thought to bring his sword.

     It filled his mind now, its sharp blade sheathed and lying idly beneath his hammock. Had it ever left its scabbard? On the day he’d bought it, perhaps, but certainly not since then. Reeseas had a bandolier of sugar bombs strung across his chest, strong enough to put any neopet in a sugar coma for a few hours. But in close quarters like these, he’d never be able to use them. All they could do was keep moving and hope for the best.

     And so move they did, twisting and turning through the tunnel until it widened into a familiar chamber. Vigie gasped as he beheld their secret hoard.

     Foil-wrapped bonbons glimmered in the dim light, brighter than any gold. Wooden chests, stamped with the logos of various chocolatiers, lined the back wall. Boiled sweets lay, jewel-like, in front of them. The sight was beautiful, beguiling, mouth-watering... and wrong. The cave had been twice as full when they left three months ago. Where were the life-sized chocolate statues? The ornate caramel fountains? The spun-sugar chandeliers?

     “What do you think happened?” Vigie asked.

     Reeseas met his eyes, his face slack with shock. “The tides must have come in and taken them.”

     “You don’t think it was other pirates?”

     Reeseas shook his head. “Why take some and leave the rest? The bonbons alone are worth half a million neopoints.”

     “I suppose you’re right,” Vigie conceded.

     Reeseas sighed. “Come on. We’d better get started before the tide comes in again and traps us here.”

     They pulled out some large, burlap sacks and began the tedious task of filling them.

     Twenty bonbons... thirty... forty... fifty...

     Vigie’s mouth watered as the sweet scents wafted over him. Surely it couldn’t hurt to eat just one bonbon. He waited until Reeseas wasn’t looking, then unwrapped one and popped it into his mouth. Praline and salted caramel danced across his taste buds. The long stint underground hadn’t made them any less delicious.

     “Don’t do that,” Reeseas admonished as Vigie started unwrapping another bonbon. “We’re in dire straits as it is. We’ll be lucky if we break even on this voyage.”

     Shadows slashed his face, flickering in the pale lantern light. He looked as haunted as the candy skulls he stuffed in his pockets.

     “You really think it’s that bad?” Vigie asked. Guiltily, he tossed the bonbon into his sack. “Surely we can just jack up the prices. Halloween is around the corner. There won’t be any shortage of buyers, especially in the rich neighbourhoods. We can still get money for our ship that way.”

     “Maybe,” Reeseas muttered. “I’m just not sure—”

     The lantern went out, plunging the cavern into total darkness. Vigie’s heart skipped a beat.

     “R-Reeseas?” he asked. Silence pressed in on him, suffocating in its intensity.

     “I’m here,” Reeseas said.

     His firm voice steadied Vigie’s nerves. “What happened to the lantern?”

     “Blasted candle went out. Give me a minute. I’ve got some matches.”

     Vigie closed his eyes, his breath rattling in his chest. He heard fabric rustling. The sound of cardboard sliding over cardboard. The subdued skritch of a match. Then... nothing.

     “Reeseas?” Vigie ventured again.

     “Sorry,” the draik said. “The matches are wet. We’ll have to finish this in the dark.”

     Anxiety twisted Vigie’s stomach. “How? And how are we going to get back to the Sweet Revenge when we’re done?”

     The ship—less than 300 feet from him—suddenly seemed oceans away.

     “Don’t worry,” Reeseas said. “I know this place like the back of my hand. We won’t get lost. As for the bonbons, just feel around. You’ll find them, no problem.”

     “I don’t like this,” Vigie mumbled.

     “I know,” Reeseas sympathized. “But the faster you work, the sooner we can leave.”

     Vigie took a deep breath. Then another. No matter how creepy this situation was, he had to keep going. Their future depended on it. Besides, they were alone in the cave. It wasn’t like they were in danger.

     “A-aye, aye, Captain,” he murmured at last.

     Steadying himself, Vigie knelt and reached out in front of him. Foil and cellophane met his fingers, smooth and easy to distinguish from the surrounding rock. Maybe this wouldn’t be so difficult after all.

     He settled himself into a rhythm—bonbon, bag, bonbon, bag—and kept going until he’d cleared the entire floor. The wooden chests were next. Too heavy to lift, their contents would need to go in the burlap sacks too.

     Vigie groped the latch of the first chest, grimacing at how sticky it had become. The top layer of candy must have melted and spilt out. He reached inside and grabbed a handful of gumballs. Before he could withdraw, something slimy brushed his hand.

     He lurched back, gumballs scattering around him like grapeshot.

     “What is it?” Reeseas asked.

     “Something touched me! I think it was a tentacle.”

     “Are you sure it wasn’t a giant gummy worm?”

     Vigie hesitated. “I don’t know. It wasn’t moving. I guess it might have been.”

     He reached into the chest again. At once, the slimy thing curled around his hand, encasing it. Sharp teeth sank into his wrist. Vigie cried out and fell back, flinging the monster free of him.

     “It’s alive!” Vigie wailed. “There’s a thing in here with us, and it bit me!”

     A ghostly voice rang through the air. “Yes... I did. And you deserved it.”

     Vigie froze. It wasn’t Reeseas who had spoken. “W-who are you? What are you?”

     “Light a candle and I’ll show you.”

     Reeseas muttered something, and Vigie heard him rustling for the matches again. His mind raced. How had something gotten into the chest? Whatever it was couldn’t be very big, but its voice had resonated like it was six feet tall. And then there were those teeth! Was it a snake? He’d heard sea shanties about snakes. What if it was venomous? The Neohospital was so far away. He imagined it slithering through the cave, closer and closer, preparing to strike—

     “Reeseas!” Vigie cried.

     “I know! I’m trying,” Reeseas replied grimly.

     Over and over, the skritch of a failed match filled the air. Panic ballooned in Vigie’s chest until he could hardly breathe. Something shattered on the ground near him, and the air cracked in response, illuminating everything in a soft, white glow. The captain had dropped a sugar bomb, Vigie realized. It was a stroke of genius, really. The residual light would last at least ten minutes.

     “Where are you?” Reeseas demanded. “Show yourself!”

     Silence returned to the cavern, heavy with anticipation. Then came a slow, squelching sound—irrefutable, inexorable, reminiscent of the nameless horrors lurking in the deepest ocean. Movement flashed in the corner of Vigie’s eye, and his head snapped towards it.

     Slorgs.

     It was just a pair of slorgs.

     “You bit me?” Vigie asked. A relieved chuckle erupted from his chest. “Thank Fyora. I was expecting a reptillior or worse! I didn’t even know slorgs had teeth.”

     “They’re retractable,” the first slorg deadpanned. “I take it you’re the one who bonked me on the head while I was sleeping.”

     Vigie sobered at once. “Oh. Yeah. Sorry about that.”

     “Hmph.” The slorg’s upper lip curled, and he turned to Reeseas. “My name is Landon, and this”—he nodded to the other slorg—“is my brother, Slippy. Care to tell us what you’re doing here?”

     “I could ask you the same question,” Reeseas retorted. “And since when have slorgs been able to talk?”

     “Not all slorgs can. We’re just special like that,” Landon replied. “I ask again: what are you doing here?”

     “We’re here to retrieve our candy hoard,” Vigie told him.

     “Your hoard?” Landon said with a humourless laugh. “I would argue this is our hoard now.”

     “That’s right,” Slippy piped up. “This candy has been keeping us alive since we got stranded here. If you take it, we’ll starve.”

     Vigie turned to Reeseas with uncertainty. “What do we do?”

     “What do you mean, ‘what do we do?’” Reeseas laughed. “They’re slorgs. They can’t stop us from taking it.”

     “Wanna bet?” Landon growled. “I’ll beat you up right now.”

     Reeseas smirked. “How are you going to do that? Do you have retractable arms too?”

     The draik sauntered over to the chests and started upending them, one after the other, into his sack. Landon launched himself at Reeseas’ ankles, teeth bared. Reeseas did his best to dance out of the way, but a few times, the teeth grazed him and he yelped in pain.

     “Guys! Stop it!” Slippy said. “Why can't we just share the chocolate? No one needs to get hurt over this.”

     “You’ve already cost us millions of neopoints. We’re not sharing anything with you,” Reeseas retorted. He emptied the final chest and then hefted the sack over his shoulder. “Come on, Vigie. We’re leaving.”

     He strode into the dark tunnel, fast and purposeful, and Vigie had to jog to keep up. The slorgs’ shrill voices echoed after them. Vigie hardened his heart against their cries. They were only slorgs. It didn't matter what happened to them.

     Or maybe it does matter, he thought, an idea sparking in his mind. If we play our cards right, they could be the solution to all our problems.

     “We need to go back,” he announced.

     “What are you talking about?” Reeseas asked. He didn’t slow down.

     “We need to bring the slorgs with us.”

     “Out of the question. They’ll eat all our supplies and—”

     “No, they won’t. Not if you sugar bomb them first.”

     Reeseas stopped dead. Vigie could practically hear the cogs whirring in his friend’s brain as the pieces fell into place.

     When sugar bombs struck flesh, they put the victim in a sugar coma. The victim would be preserved in magical sugar for hours, days, weeks, or even months, without any need to eat or drink. If the slorgs were preserved, they wouldn’t have to worry about starving. Reeseas and Vigie could drop them off the next time they made port. Or better yet, they could sell the slorgs as living candy and use the proceeds to pay for their new ship.

     “Not a bad idea,” Reeseas said when he explained his reasoning. “It seems a bit twisted to sell them, but if it keeps us in business...” He trailed off, deep in contemplation. After a few seconds, he made an abrupt turn, pushing Vigie back in the direction they’d come. “All right. Let’s do this.”

     They retreated to the cavern, Reeseas unbuckling a pair of sugar bombs as they walked. The space was still glowing with pale white light when they entered.

     The slorgs surged forward when they spotted the captain, their eyes bright with relief.

     “Oh good, you came back!” Slippy piped up. “Landon didn’t think you would, but I knew you’d do the right thing.”

     “I’m not sure this is the right thing,” Reeseas muttered.

     “Oh, but it is!” Slippy said. “I promise, you won’t regret helping us.”

     Reeseas hesitated a moment longer as Slippy chattered. Then, his face grim, he dropped the sugar bombs. White light exploded around them, rocking the cave. When the worst of the dust cleared, Vigie risked a glance at the disaster zone.

     The two slorgs stood, just as they had before, happy and oblivious to the state they’d entered. Encased in sugar, they looked identical to the marzipan slorgs commonly sold around Halloween. If not for the tiny tremors of their breathing, he wouldn’t have believed they were alive.

     “They really do pass as candy,” Reeseas mused.

     “How much do you think we could get for them?” Vigie asked.

     “Oh, millions. Easily.” Reeseas lifted one up and examined it. “The question is, do we market them as candy or petpets?”

     Vigie didn’t know how to answer that. The whole thing was starting to make him feel a little sick to his stomach. Nevertheless, he put on a brave face as Reeseas tucked both slorgs into his burlap sack. Hopefully the moral cost of selling the slorgs would be worth the reward of a brand new ship. With a final glance at the unnaturally glowing cavern, he followed his Captain back into the dark. The End.