Tyrannian Concert Hall Bands: An Origin Story

     The light shone brightly on the dirty, and slightly damp stage at the Golden Dubloon as one act after another was being booed off the stage. Comics, illusionists, singers and entertainers were failing to entertain the obstinate crowd that decided nothing was much comical or exciting after a rough round of Food Club where Stuff-A-Roo and Squire Venable pulled a fast one on ole’ Bucky and Goob. The current comedic relief, that seemingly wasn’t experiencing much relief based on the sweat rolling down his brow, stuttered and stumbled over his jokes. “So… a… well… uhm. What do you call… what do you call a pirate without… without… without a P? Irate!”

     After receiving not a warm welcome, but actually being beaned with a literal peg leg, the comic took his leave with haste rubbing his tail where the sting of the leg still smarted. Looking to the next act, he muttered, “Tough crowd… might want to try another night…”

     Darkly defiant, the Shoyru, Ixi and Zafara steeled themselves, unfazed by the poor excuse for a comic. They touched up their gloomy look, drawing a few red swirls warped, the paint wrapping around their necks. Amethyst the Ixi grabbed the neck of her Flying V black-as-night limited edition guitar with utter confidence and sauntered on stage with her bandmates- Noir the Shoyru and Jinx the Zafara. Normally a rowdy and loud joint, the Golden Dubloon had a strange hush over it, as the patrons had never seen an act quite like the band in front of them. The electric vibe seemed to course through the room, so that even the bartender looked up from “polishing” the same dirty glass he’d been holding for the last few minutes. With bated breath and a change in the room, the owner of the Dubloon, never usually giving the time of day to the tawdry acts on the meagre stage, looked up from his profits/ loss statement just in time for a resounding, epic note to reverberate throughout the venue.

     It’s often said in show business that the first song will set the stage for the rest of the performance, and this was definitely no different! The first song started, a hard-rock,post-punk song with a driving bass line and reverb with dark, dramatic vocals. The lead singer, Noir blasted her vocals on reverb,

     “Ghosts in the Haunted Woods

     Take me to the fallen games

     I hear their screaming out to me

     But all I feel is pain

     Will I ever rise above this pain,

     All feels dark in this garden,

     A twisted rose reaches out

     Envelops me… again”

     The haunting melody seemed to transfix the audience for a moment, until one Blumaroo started bouncing to the driving rhythm of the bass. It didn’t take long for the Neopets of the Golden Dubloon to start to feel the emotions and join in. Something about connecting to the pain and feeling the song really resounded with the previously bitter patrons. What was supposed to be one song, turned into a whole set, which turned into a two-set show. The guitar distortions, haunting scales and reverb seemed to shake all around, but the Golden Dubloon patrons did not seem to care one bit. More customers poured into the establishment until it was bursting at the seams, with no walking room. It was both hard to move and hard to not jump and down at the melodies Noir, Jinx and Amethyst wailed about.

     After song after song of band originals, the all-girl angsty band with meagre beginnings in the ricketiest, dampest, dirtiest saloon in Krawk Island made a huge impression. CDs simply flew off the table in the back of the Dubloon after the show. Mr. Dubloon himself, a Golden Krawk and proprietor of the Golden Dubloon of Krawk Island instantly saw the monetary benefits of having a slammin’ new band in the vicinity and after the show slid into the green room backstage where all the failed acts were congratulating the three bandmates on their wicked performance.

     “I am sure you are so very thankful to have a place to play your… music…” the always financially-minded Krawk drawled. “I think we can probably work out an agreement as to you practising your songs again in front of a live audience.”

     Creative and quiet, but also lucrative, Jinx the Zafara, the band drummer, spoke up, “We will have multiple offers after our success tonight, but I think we can work out a mutually agreeable deal Mr. Dubloon. Thanks for giving us a chance. But, we will require a few extra alterations to the show. I think lighting would really send our performance to a radically sick place.”

     After their hit opening song, the trio soon began to be known as Twisted Roses. Their goth-rock style, bone-chilling sounds, and haunting melodies began to be widely played by the youth of Neopia.

     Mr. Dubloon soon upgraded his sound and light boards for the next performance, also requiring a cover fee. The dubloons absolutely rolled in after the word got out. Soon, tables needed to be moved for standing room only performances. The band was quickly outgrowing the Golden Dubloon. Thankfully, being right on the coast, Mr. Dubloon had the ingenious idea to have a show on an actual pirate ship. The performance was epic, one for the ages for sure. The dark sails and edgy ship really sent the performance over the top.

     After Twisted Roses had been playing at the Golden Dubloon for a few months, they decided to get to the next level, a manager was in order. After long and boring interviews, they came across a businesswoman, Onyx the Wocky, a sleek Shadow Wocky famous for managing a retired class rock bank. After a single interview, the band knew she was the one. They quickly signed a contract with her, and looking back, the band says it’s the best thing we’ve even done.

     Onyx really elevated the band inter-Neopian presence. It wasn’t only Krawk Island that wanted to hear the band, each Neopian territory was reaching out wanting to see the epic ballads and rocking dark songs the band had to offer. The partnership really took off and elevated the band into superstardom.

     Soon, requests all around began to filter in, and their mini-tour began. From the recreation deck on Virupets Space Station, to the fiery caves of Moltara, the band gained their experience playing far and wide. A notable limited edition vinyl was actually recorded in the Games Graveyard- the actual location of their namesake song that brought them to the entertainment world. The music video in the Games Graveyard hit triple platinum in record time, even faster than the M*YNCI hit “Hi Hi Hi,” which was the previous record-shattering song of the age.

     It wasn’t long before the keeper of the Tyrannian Concert hall heard of the fame of the all-girl goth band sweeping Neopia. Always on the lookout for brilliant talent, Skalpo, the ticket master at the world-famous Tyrannian Concert Hall reached out to the Onyx, the band’s agent and the rest is history. Twisted Rose secured a recurring show at the Tyrannian Concert Hall on the first day of each month. Amethyst, Jinx and Noir have generously included merchandise with the purchase of a ticket. You can receive a limited edition one of the following- Twisted Roses Shirt, Twisted Roses Poster, Twisted Roses Mug, Twisted Roses Magnet, Twisted Roses Keyring, Twisted Roses Background (NC), Twisted Roses Santa Hat, and of course the favorite of all, a Twisted Roses Speaker.

     I hope you enjoyed this week’s band spotlight- Twisted Roses! As an added benefit, bring this edition of the Neopian Times to Scalpo on the first of the month, and he will (begrudgingly) give you 10% off your ticket price and a bonus limited edition Twisted Roses merchandise. Twisted Roses' namesake hit song, will soon be reaching it’s 15 year anniversary, so please join me in congratulating them on the long, successful career. Their goth rock style and haunting melodies will always bring me back to the good ole’ days bartering with sly Mr. Dubloon in the Golden Dubloon, bursting at the seams from the new, rockin’ music.

     Join me next week, where we talk about another famous band of Neopia and how they rose to fame. I’m not monkeying around if you know what I mean!

      To be continued…