An Interview with Ellsworth, Host of the Neopies

          NT Reporter: Ellsworth, every time I see you, you’re wearing a very dazzling suit. In fact, I would say your taste in suits is one of the things you’re most known for. Is fashion something that’s important to you?

     Ellsworth: Oh, of course. The Neopies are my bread and butter, and what is an awards show without the red carpet? I’m the face of the Neopies, so I do consider it my responsibility to look my best.

     NT Reporter: Just how many suits would you say you own, Ellsworth?

     Ellsworth: An Elephante never tells. No, truthfully, I’m not sure. I lost count after I hit 100. But do keep in mind: the Neopies goes for an entire month! And you can’t wear the same suit twice in one awards season, of course.

     NT Reporter: Of course not. (Editor’s note: I thought it prudent not to mention that I have seen him in the same navy blue velvet suit on multiple occasions.) And where is today’s suit from, if I may be so bold as to ask?

     Ellsworth: Oh, Prigpants, of course. I get all my suits from Prigpants & Swolthy in Neovia directly. Not off the rack, of course; they’re all custom pieces. So of course, you won’t be able to find any others like this one, but I can’t speak highly enough of Prigpants & Swolthy’s tailoring services.

     NT Reporter: So, what makes for the perfect Neopies gown?

     Ellsworth: It’s important to remember that the Neopies are an incredibly glamorous affair. There are a lot of big names nominated for awards, of course, so the celebrity turnout is significant, and everyone is trying to outdo each other in the fashion department. So a Neopies outfit really needs that wow factor. It must be classy, flattering, and it needs to stand out from the rest.

     NT Reporter: Earlier today, I polled a number of Neopians about what they were planning on wearing to the Neopies this year. I thought it might be fun to read some of their choices out to you, and get your opinion on their sartorial taste. What do you think?

      Ellsworth: Judging other people’s outfits is one of my all-time favourite activities – aside from hosting the Neopies and eating Bonbons, of course. I’d love to.

     NT Reporter: Sandy the Meerca from Neopian Central said that she’ll be wearing a Fancy Pink Gown – what do you think?

     Ellsworth: Ah, a budget-conscious awards-goer. Just because you might not be able to afford a high-end outfit from the Mall doesn’t mean you’re any less worthy to attend the Neopies! I love it. Great choice, Sandy.

     NT Reporter: Jessalyn the Acara from Tyannia is planning on wearing a Crop Top Dress. Thoughts?

     Ellsworth: Look, it’s cute, but please don’t forget to put on pants.

     NT Reporter: Willow the Bori from Terror Mountain will be wearing a Snow Yooyu Gown.

     Ellsworth: Oh, my. Willow has exceptional taste. To call this frock a showstopper would be putting it very mildly. It’s a dress fit for a princess. (Editor’s note: A very, very, very, VERY rich princess.)

     NT Reporter: Jade the Bruce from Mystery Island will be wearing a Heart Print Dress. How do you feel about the heart print pattern, Ellsworth?

     Ellsworth: I love it! It’s cute, it’s sassy, and considering it’s the month of Awakening aka the month of love, what could be more appropriate?

     NT Reporter: I almost hate to ask what you think about this next one, Ellsworth, but Cynthia the Blumaroo from Roo Island wants to wear, uh…a Clown Dress. Thoughts, Ellsworth?

     Ellsworth: Well…you’ll certainly…stand out, Cynthia! If that’s what you’re going for, great!

     NT Reporter: Now, I have a feeling you’ll love this next pick, Ellsworth. Emily the Xweetok from Meridell will be wearing a Queen of The Forest Dress.

     Ellsworth: Now this is a dress fit for an awards ceremony. It’s regal, it’s sylvan, it’s svelte. It commands attention – and respect. In short, it’s fit for a winner! Fantastic choice, Emily.

     NT Reporter: Hmmm... This next one is a little out there, so I’m curious to hear your thoughts, Ellsworth. Gwen the Draik from Maraqua wants to wear a Mutant Yooyu Dress to the Neopies.

     Ellsworth: You know, I’m surprising myself by saying this, but I think it’s a fun choice! It’s ok to be yourself, and if you want to dress up like a Mutant Yooyu for the Neopies, I say go for it! Life would be so boring if everyone went the traditional glitz and glamor route. I love seeing the personalities of a Neopian shine through in their outfit.

     NT Reporter: Now, actually quite a few Neopians mentioned that they’re planning on wearing a Sparkler Dress.

     Ellsworth: Oh, yes. Well, of course! What could be more perfect for an awards show than a glittery dress with a big bow on it? Not to mention, this option is fairly affordable for most Neopians, and it’s very lovely. But just remember, as a friendly word of warning: glitter gets in and on everything. EVERYTHING.

     NT Reporter: Great advice, Ellsworth. Now, this next Neopian asked me not to use their name, but they’re planning on wearing a Seaside Sundress.

     Ellsworth: This dress gets across, “I stopped at the Neopian Second-Hand Shoppe on my way to the Neopies”. Is that the message you’re looking to convey with this outfit? Look, I understand that when budget is a factor, your choices are limited. But I think you can do better. I’m sorry!

     NT Reporter: Thanks, Ellsworth. I just have one last dress to ask you about, though I have to admit I’m a little afraid to hear what you have to say about it. Honestly, I think the Blumaroo who told me they plan on wearing it might have been pulling my leg a little. They said they’re planning on wearing…*cough*

     Ellsworth: Pardon, my dear? What did you say? I almost thought you said-

     NT Reporter: They said they’re going to be wearing a Hot Dog Dress.

     Ellsworth:

     NT Reporter: Hello? Did you hear me? Ellsworth? I said they’re planning on wearing a Hot Dog Dre—

     Ellsworth: Please don’t wear a Hot Dog Dress to the Neopies. I implore you. I’m afraid if anyone attends the Neopies wearing a Hot Dog Dress, we may just have to ask you to leave. *clears throat* I’m sorry, I got a little heated there. Do forgive me.

     NT Reporter: Of course, Ellsworth. Well, I just have one final question I would be remiss if I didn't ask. What do you have to say regarding rumours your hair is a wig?

     Ellsworth: I think that's all the questions I have time for today, thank you, I've just remembered I've left the stove on, I'll have to dash, my apologies. Now, if you don't mind, I'll just be taking some more of these Juppieswirl Bonbons....

     NT Reporter: That was Ellsworth, host of the Neopies. I’m sure the readers of the Neopian Times will be grateful for his insights. Happy awards season, readers.