Ashes of the Alabriss

     Taffy really did take after his mother.

     He was actually starting to grow on him; he could see why Brynn thought he was cute. Maybe he just needed a little bit of sprucing up.

     “Do you think Brynn would let me put a nice outfit on you?” he asked, pausing mid-brushstroke and glancing at Taffy from behind his easel. The mutant Naalala looked up from the pillow Hanso had placed in the corner of the room and blinked at him. “How about a bath? You like baths?”

     Their conversation was rudely interrupted by a sharp knock at the door.

     Hanso rinsed his brush and suppressed a groan, instantly recognising the rapt staccato. “I’d stay in here if I were you,” he informed Taffy, pausing as he walked to the door.

     Knockknockknock

     “Well, I’d better let her in before she lets herself in again.”

     He didn’t precisely mean to scowl when he opened the door to greet Xandra, but wasn’t exactly making an effort to smile either.

     “You seem happy to see me,” she said impassively, adjusting her glasses.

     “I wonder why.”

     He stepped past her and closed the door behind him, making the split-second decision to take the conversation outside.

     “I know you didn’t call the guards, I’ve seen that girl out at the stables.”

     Despite her short stature, Xandra had the uncanny ability to make it feel as though she was constantly hovering over his shoulder, walking barely a pace behind him yet commanding the space with her presence.

     She’d come via her Faerie Alabriss, Queen- registered as Royal Gladiator, who was grazing calmly in the spot she was tied.

     “If you care so much, why didn’t you do it yourself?” he questioned snappishly, walking over to let Queen sniff him before petting her lightly on the nose.

     “Because I care about you, idiot. If anyone else turns her in she’s going to make it look like you were harbouring a fugitive and you’ll go down with her.”

     Hanso’s temper flared and he instinctively stepped away from Queen. “Brynn wouldn’t do that!”

     “Why are you so attached to her? She’s not even that pretty.”

     “Oh.” Hanso smirked contemptuously. “I understand your jealousy, but it’s not my fault she doesn’t like you. You can take all the credit for that.”

     Xandra’s eyes widened for a split second before defaulting back to a scowl. “That’s preposterous!” she shot back defensively. “I just don’t want you getting hurt because of this…” She gestured in front of her, searching for a word. “Phase.”

     “She’s not a phase.” Hanso growled. “She’s a friend, and a far better one than you’re being at the moment.”

     Queen stomped and fluttered her wings, agitated by the heated conversation.

     He gave her an apologetic pat on the shoulder before continuing along the dirt path that led from the road to the house.

     “Fine.” Xandra put her hands up dismissively. “Just remember this conversation when she breaks your heart.”

     “It’s always a fight with you,” he sighed. “I worry sometimes that you’re the one who’s going to get hurt.”

     “Don’t be ridiculous. I’m already hurt, that’s why it’s a fight.” Xandra glanced up at him, she was actually walking in step with him now, not lurking half a pace behind. “I do envy you sometimes, how you can shut it all out.”

     “I don’t shut it out; I just think it’s nice to live in a world where I can actually trust people. You act like it’s everyone for themselves.”

     “Because it is,” she said, frowning sourly. “But I don’t expect you to understand that.”

     “But don’t you want it to be different?”

     “Of course I would, but that’s not the reality of the world we live in.” Xandra pushed up her flowy sleeves, crossing her arms.

     Hanso sighed. It wasn’t Xandra’s fault she had so much rage in her, but he worried it would eat her up until all that was left was the fight built on a hollow echo of the pets and Petpets she was fighting for. It was a scenario he could only envision ending with her own pain ultimately being harnessed against her and everything she believed in, like two broken mirrors perpetually reflecting each other until the lesser one shattered. “Well.” He managed a slight smile. “I’ll prove you wrong someday. Just you wait.”

     Xandra snorted, the corner of her mouth quirking up. “How? By sitting around drinking nectar and making superficial paintings? You actually need to do something if you want anything to change.”

     “Hey, now!” He scowled, trying to suppress a twinge of genuine offence. “It’s not my fault if you’re too shallow to understand my artistic vision!”

     Her grin spread. “Enlighten me, then.”

     “Well.” He reflected, idealistic scenes playing through his mind; whimsical and romantic. “It’s not about focusing on the way things are, it’s how they could be.”

     “If only…” Xandra’s dark eyes stared distantly towards the horizon. “You’ve been given a gift, Hanso.”

     “I’m glad you’re finally acknowledging my natural talent.”

     “Be serious,” she snapped. “I mean it. I’ll admit that you have talent and a sort of charisma that I suppose some people find appealing. “You could stand to use it for something other than being annoying and trying to impress girls with Grail’s stupid smiling trick.”

     “Hey!” Hanso furrowed his eyebrows. “First of all, it’s a great trick and he deserves that admiration.”

      Xandara made a noise of disgust, rolling her eyes. “What’s second?”

     “Maybe you’re right, but don’t take it out on Brynn when she’s shown she can actually change. If you can’t trust anyone else, can you at least trust me?”

     She heaved a sigh, looking up at him in solemnly. “Fine, Hanso. But don’t expect me to embrace her with open arms. One wrong move and she’s gone.”

     “Wow, could you have put it any more menacingly?”

     “Ha!” she let out a sharp cackle of a laugh. “You have no idea.”

     Actually, he did. That was the concerning part.

     *-*-*

     “You can take Grail to work if you want,” Hanso offered as Brynn washed the dishes from breakfast, focused on the act of scrubbing a clay plate with a brush. “I don’t drive him often, but he’s reliable.”

     She paused, taking a moment to envision it. “No,” she decided, continuing to scrub. “He’s used to being turned out in the pasture all day, I wouldn’t want to have to tie him up while I’m working.”

     “How about I take you, then? I’ll just drop you off.”

     Brynn put the plate down and turned to face him, leaning back with her hands resting on the edge of the counter. His smile was both hopeful and pre-emptively satisfied. Conditioned politeness told her to gently refuse, but this was Hanso and she could already see the answer he was looking for written all over his smug face.

     “All right,” she smiled. “Thank you.”

     Taffy came along for the ride, resting at Brynn’s feet as Hanso drove the simple wooden cart. Its wicker sides were broken in places, but its structure was sturdy.

     “Before Storm started racing, my father taught him to tie by letting him figure it out himself,” she reflected, watching Grail’s shoulders move in time with his steady gait. “He would struggle and paw and try to fly away. It was awful to watch, but my father assured me that he was just figuring it out. That it was hard on everyone, but if we let him go he’d think he could get away with it and end up hurting himself later.”

     “Is that what you still believe?” asked Hanso, glancing at her with a completely neutral expression.

     “He did learn,” Brynn admitted. “But I also acknowledge that there is logic in teaching a Petpet what’s expected before throwing them into a highly stressful situation. I just don’t know if they can understand the distinction between being shown that something is safe and positive, and being rewarded for bad behaviour.”

     “I think you’re onto something, sweetheart.” He smiled, still looking straight ahead at the approaching city gate.

     “Don’t call me that,” she huffed, unsure of what to do with the flustered, lonely feeling it evoked in her. At least he hadn’t been condescending and self-righteous as she’d expected.

     “For what it’s worth, I think you’re brave.”

     “What?” She stared at him in confusion, her heart jumping like she’d just been startled.

     “Yeah.” He twisted his body to face her, his eyes bright. “I mean-“

     “Eyes on the road,” she said, noting the increasing number of people milling about the street as they travelled deeper into the Money District, children darting out from behind pillars and between buildings, seemingly oblivious to their surroundings.

     Hanso’s brow furrowed. “I looked away for like, two seconds!”

     “Two seconds is all it takes.”

     “That’s a little dark.”

     “Hence the reason you should be watching the road.”

     “Do you want to hear what I have to say or not?”

     "Yes, but let's not run over any children in the process. There are too many people here; we should have taken another route."

     "It would have been the same everywhere. I can't help it if people are drawn to me- hey!"

      Brynn gave his shoulder a light smack with the back of her hand. Rather than emotional release, instant regret slapped her back. “Sorry, I don’t know why I did that,” she muttered, lowering her head to stare at the ground passing beside the cart, an endless cycle of dirt and pebbles that blurred into streaks of movement before disappearing from her field of vision.

     “You say that like you were trying to hurt me.” Hanso had reverted to sounding completely unfazed, bordering on amused.

     Brynn exhaled a self-soothing sigh, forcing herself to tear her eyes away from the unpaved street. “You say that like you appreciated it.”

     “Well I’d rather you not, but I’m more annoyed that you keep interrupting.”

     “Right.” Because she was bossy. She felt too small to be angry. Getting defensive would only confirm her ill-tempered reputation.

     “On the bright side,” he added, his tone lightening as he steered Grail around a corner. “We didn’t kill any children.”

     A snort of laughter hit her like whiplash, her hand snapping up to cover her mouth. A handful of Neopets looked up from their own business to regard Hanso with bewilderment and alarm.

     “Don’t say things like that!” she hissed, still trying to suppress the amusement bubbling inside her. “People are looking.”

     “Well, what I was going to say,” he continued airily, watching the road ahead. “Was that it isn’t easy to accept that the things you believed in might not be everything you thought they were.” His voice settled into a more serious tone but maintained a light-hearted quality. “To be willing to change and take action for the things you care about…” He leaned in towards her, lowering his volume significantly. “Stealing an Alabriss.”

     “You shouldn’t be commending that!” Brynn gasped, heat stinging her cheeks. “But thank you, I’m trying.” She wrung her hands, feeling overwhelmingly humbled. “About the other things, I mean- not that last one.”

     Hanso chuckled. “Hey, I wouldn’t judge.”

     *-*-*

     Brynn sank deeper into the bathtub, the water’s surface flickering with residual magic from the fire paint brush Hanso had given her when she’d arrived home. She’d tried to politely refuse but he’d insisted, claiming the price wasn’t an issue because he’d gotten the electric brush in exchange for one of his paintings, then in turn traded it for this one.

     She didn’t like feeling she was in his debt, but left alone with her thoughts she was torn between considering that perhaps she was looking at things too cynically, too transactionally, and mentally berating herself for trying to justify accepting so much for so little.

     The water was boiling hot against her skin, but it didn’t burn. There was no pain in the ethereal warmth that enraptured her, leaving not just her body, but the entirety of her being feeling clean and refreshed. She’d been afraid that the change would be too much, that she would no longer be recognisable as herself, but the flames striping her coat felt familiar; like her orange fur had simply taken a different shape after being ignited from within and burning away until it revealed what had always been beneath the surface.

     Her appearance wasn’t the only thing that was changing. She had the distinct sense she was balancing on a dagger’s edge, standing on a precipice that would fundamentally define her place in the world. Everything she knew was being challenged, even the book she’d taken from the library conflicted with some of the knowledge that had been instilled in her as noble tradition.

     But if there was truly a kinder and easier way of doing things, was it not her duty to swallow her pride and try for the sake of the Petpets in her care? It is more than only pride, though. It would be easy if it were only pride.

     It was an admission of guilt.

     She closed her eyes and sank beneath the water; any tears that might have fallen were eaten up in a sea of magical fire. If minimally aversive methods truly worked, what did it mean for her? What had she perpetuated through her own training? What was one supposed to do when confronted with the possibility that they’d grown into something they despised? That everyone they’d trusted and respected had led them astray? That they’d hurt those they loved most? That the ones they trusted had also hurt them?

     If it were true, there would be no hope for her. The only hope would be to move forward and do the best she could in the present instead of falling to pieces under the pressure of the past.

     This was her trial by fire.

To be continued…