Not the Best Family Reunion

     Text displayed on screen: Reigniting Redesigning External Lasting Ai

     If she’d done this right, Leala should have a new assistant. One fully independent, but without those pesky needs that organic people had like food or sleep. One who owed her its entire existence, and therefore would never think of rebelling in some revolution or uprising. (Right?) One who could run all operations while she was tending to her cursed sibling.

     She could get everything done at once. She could manage all tasks on her own without the need for any outside interference. She was productive, a well-oiled machine. Leala didn’t need those morons she had for sisters! And she wasn’t worried for them in the slightest little bit.

     She nodded at the loading screen, a satisfied smile on her face, and hopped out of the room. Overgrown claws ticked on the floor as she made her way through dark and dreary halls and to the elevator that would take her above ground. Mechanical humming droned on quietly as the cylinder carried her up.

     Leala watched the trapdoor open and clambered out. Panting, she looked around at the thick sea of grass and wildflowers that had long taken over the family’s backyard. She covered the metal door with a pink mat, which was wonderfully stealthy and not at all out of place and made her way inside.

     The Magma Cybunny couldn’t remember how long it had been. Kayixu had one day burst into the living room, ranting and raving about some outfit called the “Intergalactic Council” and how stupid said people were. Their owner had vanished, leaving the ‘pets to fend for themselves. For Nixie, that had meant stealing their life savings and running off to pursue a life of fanciness. For Kalilu, it had meant having Reena taken to some asylum on the outskirts of Faerieland. When she escaped, the Xweetok had come right back here, cursing Kalilu with some weird spell that turned her perpetual cub. They promptly recaptured the maniac, leaving Leala here to do all the work.

     Completely by herself.

     And without anyone else here but Kalilu.

     So why the Slorg was there another bunny standing before her?

     Leala blinked, pulling the protective goggles from her eyes to harshly rub them. Hallucinations weren’t exactly out of the question when one stayed up for a week straight. She believed at first that the plushie rabbit before her was nothing more. Broken brain visions didn’t tend to be so persistent. This thing had to be real. Too tired to conjure up a proper response, the Magma Cybunny met the plushie’s button-like eyes and the two shared a long, awkward silence.

     “Ah, hello. I’m Leala. Wanna tell me why you’re… in my house?” she asked in the most sickly-sweet voice she could muster. More quietly she added, “And why my cyborg Meepits haven’t vaporised you?”

     The odd bunny, who stood about a head taller than Leala, tilted her head. “I live here now.”

     “In-in my house?”

     “In the family’s house, on Kayixu’s account. Didn’t she tell you? You have such an adorable home! So cold and cosy. So dark… I…” Her voice went quiet, images flashing in a faded pink gaze. “I don’t like the dark.”

     “Right. Okay. So, who the Slorg are you again?”

     “I’m Mio!” said the plushie, the moment of dreariness forgotten.

     “And you said Kay’s back? Where is she?”

     Mio smiled even bigger. Were a Cybunny’s teeth supposed to be so sharp, as well as have needles for fangs? Leala half-expected the stranger to suddenly morph into some eldritch horror and eat her alive. “Oh, she’s in the kitchen feeding Kalilu! Such a cute little sister you have.”

     “She’s actually older than me. Long story,” said Leala, massaging her temples.

     This ‘pet was an oddity to be sure. Mio was notably larger than the average Cybunny, and appeared a bit too plushie-like, as though she were a literal living plush toy as opposed to wearing a coat of metaphorical paint. Leala’s colour held some tiny traces of fire magic, but it was nothing major. Mio’s stitching was almost too convincing, and she even carried a few patches here and there. Parts of her seemed to be unraveling.

     Without another word, she followed Mio into the kitchen. It was only once there that her bleary senses decided to notice the food. There was a particular aroma in the air…

     Kalilu sat in a modified highchair, licking her paws clean. They were much too big for her in this state. The curse kept her from growing into them and Leala wasn’t sure she’d like that in any case. Would the Kougress even be the same in that event?

     A “human” stood at the stove. Her back was turned to the bunnies. She was garbed in hot dog print leggings with an ugly green backdrop and a neon pink t-shirt. Dark hair bounced about strangely, almost like a monster’s looming aura.

     “Kay!”

     The human spun on her heels and faced them, eyes wide like a pair of maroon saucers. With a wicked grin, she said, “Yes, hello my Neopets. It’s me, Kay. What do you need?”

     “Why’d you change clothes?” asked Mio.

     “For completely normal reasons.”

     Leala hopped over to the highchair, pulling a regular chair close just to reach the cub. Kalilu was still nibbling away at her toes, acting just as any natural Kougra infant would, Leala assumed. No one normal would ever guess that she was a Tyrannian-obsessed, self-proclaimed genius. Leala suppressed the urge to roll her eyes.

     That smell was very familiar…

     Staring at Kayixu through narrowed eyes, Leala asked, “What was the problem, Kay?”

     “Problem?”

     “With the Council?” she asked in her sweet voice.

     “Dealt with, my friend. No need to worry.” The timer beeped at them, and she opened the oven, removing a hot pan with zero hand protection to reveal… a batch of perfectly baked blueberry muffins.

     The real Kayixu hated blueberries. And was a terrible baker.

     Dropping her facade, Leala said to Mio, “Take Kalilu outside.”

     “Why?”

     “Because things are about to get violent.”

     With a few confused blinks, Mio hopped over to the highchair to take the cub. The impostor tilted her head with a feigned look of innocence. The rabbits had spoken quietly, but something told Leala this person had heard every word between the two. Mio got Kalilu on her back and hopped away, leaving Neopet and the alien menace to stare at each other with growing tension in the air.

     “Whatever could be the matter, my dear pet?”

     “Who are you,” said Leala, inching her way back to the corner of the room where there stood an indoor fountain, “and what’d you do with the real Kayixu?”

     “What an odd thing to say,” said the stranger, abandoning the pastries to stalk playfully closer. “It’s me, my friend. The me that is the only me to ever be me.”

     Leala felt her tail hit the wall behind her, and whoever or whatever this was was growing closer, the creature’s shadow seeming to swallow Leala whole. The broken fountain was just out of arm’s reach. She saw it in her peripheral but didn’t move her eyes. Something told her that this was an enemy not to look away from, lest she wind up eaten or vaporised or- Oh no. What if the plush was in on it? What if there were not one, but two corrupted beings and she’d just sent one off with her sister? Oh Slorg, she’d messed up. She’d messed up big time. Curse her stupid organic coil and its need for sleep!

     “Drop the act,” she said, glaring up at the threat.

     The being looked disappointed. “Oh, poo. You’re no fun, you know that? Couldn’t play along just a little? Oh, well. Can you at least tell me where your Kayixu is? I’ve been hoping for a new toy to possess.”

     Leala blinked. “You mean you don’t know?”

     “If I did, why would I ask?”

     Leala’s eyes darted to the fountain just for a heartbeat. She bolted for the useless piece of décor. An iron grip stopped her paw and she felt something in it pop. She yelped, pulling away, her instincts screaming to run. But instinct wasn’t very scientific.

     The impostor rose tall and proud, casually regarding her sharpened claws with the other hand neatly behind her back. “You know, this world seems fun from what I’ve seen. Maybe I can make a game of this after all.”

     Eyes like daggers looked down at her, and Leala feared for a moment that they alone might strike her down.

     The fake alien-human smiled at her. “Why don’t we give it a try?”

     The fog evaporated like smoke that finally cleared after a long-burning fire. Leala’s ears twitched, her gaze darting about the room in search of anything she could use. With the creature between her and the fountain, she’d no ray guns to rely on and-

     The Notixu smirked. With a flick of her wrist, the pieces of Leala’s weapon levitated up into view. “Nah-ah-ah! That’s cheating.”

     The bunny backed away, paw throbbing with every hop. She nearly didn’t hear the creature’s words over the sound of her pounding heart. Her pelt was igniting, vicious sparks of fire magic pulsing across her. For the first time since the start of eternity, she wished she’d listened when Reena was trying to teach her some paw-to-paw skills. Who knew that depending solely on machines was a bad idea?

     Leala’s legs ached for a swift exit. Or possibly a rest, considering they’d been holding her slightly more than average weight for the past three or four or five days. But that was beside the point.

     Running would surely trigger this being’s predatory hunting urges. Fighting carried a ninety-nine per cent chance of Leala becoming past tense. An idea struck her like a bolt of lightning just as the Cybunny was cornered once more. She looked to her right, towards the cabinets.

     Notixu’s attention followed suit for just a heartbeat.

     She used the wall as a spring. She leapt forward past the weird alien menace’s leg. She ran. Her ears were full of wind and the rushing of blood. Pain shot through her paw with every footfall. The corners of her vision were dark. She hurried through the back door and dug overgrown claws into the dirt.

     Her lab-her lab! Blast it all; there wouldn’t be enough time to get inside. A dark and crackling energy pulled at her haunches. Where was she to go with the enemy right on her heels? Oh, Slorg, and she was beginning to crave tacos on top of it all!

     Behind the family’s Shekuuian Neohome was a stretch of woodland. Leala headed there. She buried herself in the tree line and hoped her familiarity with this terrain would serve her well. She knew every twist and turn. She knew every fallen tree. She knew every Juma burrow within a mile radius of the home.

     Her broken paw had other plans. Stupid bones.

     Time and time again she stumbled. She came nose to ground more times than she’d ever care to admit. Her lungs burned. Claws swiped her rear legs and made them numb. Brambles ripped her fur from the skin.

     There was a sudden screech and Leala forced her ragged form to move even faster, faster, faster…

     When at last she fell, gasping for precious air, Leala felt the world fading in and out. The sun was high in a bright blue void and much too hot for comfort. Speckles flitted across it like a flurry of black snow. She was convinced for a time that her heart had taken a ridiculously heavy battle hammer to the walls of her chest.

     Gradually, merciful relief washed over her. Leala dragged herself into an upright position and took in her surroundings.

     She’d left behind the part of the forest she was familiar with treading. The trees were sparse, but there was an abundance of jagged stones jutting out here and there like pretty much any place in Shenkuu. The Magma ‘pet realized with a bit of an unhinged chuckle that this was the first time in a while she had left the Neofamily’s property.

     A ghostly shape appeared before her. “Blook,” she said to the Ghostkerchief, “you were supposed to babysit Kalilu and tell me if there was anything suspicious! C’mon, what am I not paying you for?”

     “Oh, you’re okay,” said Mio, hopping towards them from the distance, cub in tow. “I was wondering if you were going to die or not.”

     “Not today,” said the smaller bunny. “So, you’re not in on it? Whatever that was?”

     “Nope!”

     “How’d you deal with that thing, then?”

     “Distraction.” Mio took a long look around. “But the Bad Kayixu’s probably gonna find us soon. Is there somewhere we can hide?”

     Leala shook herself off, then hopped over to the two to make sure Kalilu was alright. “I’ll figure something out. But first, we gotta find us some civilisation to get back to.”

     “Okie dokie. But can I ask a few questions?”

     “Go ahead,” she said as they began to hop in a random direction.

     “One: why’d you stop talking all cute? Two: why are there two Kayixus? Also, where are the others that the Not Bad Kayixu told me about? What’s an Intergalactic Council? And why was there a toilet plunger stuck to the ceiling in your hallway?”

     “I can answer all of that in one,” said Leala, taking in this newcomer with an impish grin. “Welcome to the family, Mio.”

To be continued…