How to Stave Off Boredom at the Neopian Hospital

     But it turns out that in between treating the occasional case of Neggitus or Sneezles and waiting for the waves of Neopians injured fighting Voidlings in Brightvale, volunteering at the hospital is … actually pretty boring.

     What’s a Neopian to do? Find ways to make things more interesting, of course! Here are some ideas to try in this guide to staving off boredom while volunteering at the Neopian Hospital.

     1. Volunteer to help with the food.

     Hospital volunteers get a meal during their six-hour shifts, and the hospital always needs volunteers to feed the other volunteers. Some days, you won’t get much of a respite—you just ladle up the Lamb Broth that the Soup Faerie dropped by, and you’re back to sewing up stitches in 20 minutes. But on days when the food prep is a little more intense, you can spend an hour or more chopping ingredients and baking Fruity Swirl Souffle.

     And yes, while it’s annoying for that elderly Elephante orderly to always ask for a cheeseburger with no cheese, cut in half—it’s way better than treating 72 cases of Watery Eyes.

     2. Volunteer to pick up supplies

     Someone has to run to the pharmacy to get more cures; why shouldn’t it be you? For extra time away, go scrounge donation cures at the Money Tree. For extra extra time away, travel to Lost Desert Medicine in Sakhmet or Remarkable Restoratives at the top of a Shenkuu peak.

     3. Volunteer to find more volunteers

     Go from Neohome to Neohome with hospital literature. Surely one person will want to take your place—cough—I mean join you in volunteering?

     4. Play Cheat!

     So your fellow volunteers might not be Brucey B, but chances are they know how to play Neopia’s most popular card game! And you never know what zany, entertaining stories they might have. I know a Gnorbu who starts dancing like a member of Blue Kacheek Group when he’s lying.

     5. Read

     This is a great time to get caught up on the Ultimate Space Chronicles Set! But don’t get too caught up in the story—you don’t want to leave patients waiting.

     6. Watch Altador Cup reruns

     Eat Fresh Popcorn while your eyes are glued to the broadcast. Curse each time Kiko Lake wins another trophy; cry whenever Faerieland loses (which is all the times).

     7. Count all the tiles in the ceiling

     There are 116 tiles in Exam Room 12. You’re welcome.

     8. Give yourself a manicure

     Easy to do if you have fingers. Harder to do if you’re a Uni, a Kau, or any other Neopet that has hooves for hands. Either way, try the Black Nail Varnish; it’s such a statement.

     9. Give yourself a pedicure

     Just prop your feet up on your desk so you can see better. Or—here’s an idea—put them in a patient’s lab. What a great conversation starter. And now you get a pedicure and bonding!

     10. Cut your own hair

     That’s definitely what the surgical scissors are for, right?

     11. Curl your own hair

     It’s the best way to hide all the mistakes you made during the haircut.

     12. Gossip

     Your fellow volunteers are an excellent source of juicy rumors. Sure, most of the gossip they share will be run-of-the-mill stuff. Umbra doesn’t eat omelettes? Highly believable. Tarla’s on a first-name basis with King Altador? Random, but possible. Jelly World is real? Yeah, right.

     But once in a while, you’ll hear something wild, like that the Rainbow Fountain Faerie is actually colourblind. It might not be true—it likely isn’t—but it’s just shocking enough that you can fritter an afternoon away gabbing about it.

     13. Fangirl

     Time flies when you’re squee-ing over your favourite famous Neopians: Hannah, King Altador, Queen Fyora. You might even meet some devoted Dr. Sloth fans (feel free to give them some side eye). You all can swap fan magazines, show off your autographs, and debate which celebrity is the best. (Kentari for the win!)

     14. Sign autographs

     Sure, you’re not famous now, but your signature will be worth tons of Neopoints if you ever get your fifteen minutes of fame.

     15. Place bets

     How many battle-weary Unis do you think will come in for treatment today? How many cases of Ugga-Ugga? You and your fellow volunteers might see fit to place a few friendly bets. Just don’t gamble away something you really love, like your Feldon “Dinksy” Collibridge Stamp.

     16. Roll bandages

     Those cases of Floppy Tongue won’t cure themselves. And the more Soothing Bandages you roll, the faster time will fly.

     17. Invent a universal cure

     Wouldn’t it be great if the Healing Springs wasn’t the only heal-all in Neopia? Take all the medical knowledge you’ve learned during your time volunteering and try to create a cure that will work on any disease!

     18. Pick up coffee and tea for everyone

     And be sure to encourage them to give you complicated orders! “So let’s see … that’s three Cake Coffees, a Coffee and Marshmallows, four Spicy Herbal teas, two Jubble Bubble Teas, two Caramel Hot Chocolates, two Superpower Drinks, a Galaxy and Star Boba Drink, a Sutekh Muffin, Crystal Cookies, and a Chomby Fruit Tart.” You won’t make it back to the hospital for an hour at least.

     19. Accidentally break the copy machine

     …and you might get let off early. Or sent back to the file room to do paperwork. Or fined 5000 Neopoints. Hmm, maybe breaking the copy machine isn’t the best idea after all!

     20. Accidentally break your arm (or wing or leg or fin)

     …and you’ll definitely get let off early! Or will you have to stay longer while you’re treated? Yeah, this one could be better thought through…

     21. Just do your job

     When it comes down to it, you’re actually pretty lucky that you’re volunteering in the safety of Neopia instead of out fighting in Brightvale. So maybe instead of fooling around, you should actually show some appreciation for where you’re at?

     …nah. When it comes to being bored or fighting in a bloody multidimensional battle, being bored is definitely worse!