Trouble at the National Neopian -- Ghosts!

I'm sure we've all experienced things like this before. I'm sure you're wondering why you should care. BUT WAIT!

My eyes move shiftily along the page for any indication as to why a ghost just "happened" to appear at this particular moment. It's then I see the advertisement bar at the top of the screen. "Keep your Neopoints safe with the Neopian bank today!" Good idea. That's convenient...a little TOO convenient for my taste....

And then it hits me--that's it! Maybe, just maybe, the National Neopian knows that a ghost has just stolen from me. "Why do they care?" you ask. Well, I'm here to tell you.

Here is my theory: The Neopian Bank is paying ghosts to steal from innocent Neopians like you and me. Why? Well, because, you see, the bank wants MORE people to put their Neopoints in their bank so they make MORE money, obviously! It's so simple! I mean, why would ghosts bother to steal Neopoints without a motive? What would these lost souls do with stolen Neopoints? Maybe the bank is paying them with something other than neopoints--It's entirely possible!

At this point, you are probably rolling your eyes and saying, "This girl is such a loon!" But remember, the next time you get attacked by a ghost for "foolishly" not putting your Neopoints in the bank, you might want to wonder why. Why would the ghosts attack me? Here is the answer.

Should Neopians have to worry about these pesky creatures? I think not! Now every time I refresh with Neopoints I live in fear of being mugged, not by regular evil pedestrians but by DEAD THINGS!! I mean, not only is that creepy, but it's kinda gross.

And another thing-- Who are these ghosts? How did they die? Or, are they simply painted? Why don't they have an owner or a name? Why do they all look like Quiggles? Is this a statement against ghost Quiggles? Is it a plea for help from the ghosts? *snorts* probably not, but still...

Why should the Neopian Bank be allowed to exploit these poor creatures? Or are the ghosts simply greedy little minions, ready to prey on the next rule-abiding citizen?

These are all good questions. I'd like to know the answers.

And then there's the Money Tree. Let's all face it, since when have we actually gotten anything from the Money Tree? I know MY computer is too slow to get anything. Well, if you do actually get something out of the money tree, that's great. For the rest of us with humbly slow computers, the ghosts donating our NP doesn't really seem to help anyone, since it's not like we could get any of them back by going to the Money Tree. Can ghosts steal items? Who will stop these menaces??

So, who do the ghosts help? Anyone? Well, according to my theory (which is correct) the ghost help all their pals down at the National Neopian, and ultimately themselves. The whole thing is a big stinking hoax that the rest of us are sucked into. ((*pants* I still need 400 more words...where was I? oh, yes...))

And there's another thing; ghost paint brushes. Who wants to paint their pet GHOST?? I mean, glowing grayish-green and red eyes? Most unattractive! ((no offense to any ghost pets or their owners, if there are any)) So what is the point of ghost paint brushes? More recruits, of course! The National Neopians are simply not satisfied with the 'occasional ghost', but must instead have an army, a fleet, a KINGDOM of ghosts to prey on innocent Neopians when they least expect it! These new recruits have supposedly gone safely home to bed in their Neohome, but really sneak off to a dark alley in the Haunted Woods where they find normal citizens to attack for Neopoints! The National Neopians are corrupting our Neopets, turning them against us and our fellow users, and greedily hoarding the Neopoints all for their own causes!

Another thing, how do you explain the shortage of paint brushes? I mean, have you noticed that where you used to be able to buy a paint brush for 70,000, now you have to trade 350k? Where did all these paint brushes go? Well, as people started losing Neopoints to the dastardly ghosts and National Neopian team, they started keeping their paint brushes to themselves, since no one really has enough Neopoints to afford them. All the ghost paint brushes are being used, whereas the others are simply memorabilia of how rich we Neopians were, left to collect dust in some poor Neopian's shop. No wonder all of them ask for such high prices-- we're all broke! We're desperate for any Neopoints we can get our hands on! What about the fact that you used to be able to play a game 5 times, but now only 3?? A coincidence, or more? I say it's the National Neopian again, taking away all opportunity to get more Neopoints! The more they keep for themselves, the less are out there for us Neopians! And while we're busy playing games to help this great lack of Neopoints, we are refreshing more than usual. You know what that means, don't you? Yep, more chances for those ghosts to attack us!

When will the National Neopians learn that evil never prevails?

So remember, next time a ghost decides you are worthy prey, check the advertisement bar for a National Neopian ad. Keep your Neopoints safe, and keep your pets indoors. Because there REALLY is trouble at the National Neopian.

This brief paranoia was brought to you by Xarraven