There are ants in my Lucky Green Boots Circulation: 96,860,727 Issue: 187 | 22nd day of Eating, Y7
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Mysteries of Neopia: The Food Shopkeeper


by fajis

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NEOPIA CENTRAL - Almost everyone knows about the main shops in Neopia, where you can purchase foods, toys, clothes and more for your pets and yourself. When questioned though, few people know how the shopkeepers came to be. Where did they come from? Do they have an owner? Why did they decide to run a shop? There are a multitude of questions about these shopkeepers that could give even the brightest Quiggle a headache. I wanted to further investigate this matter, but which shop to choose as my subject?

The obvious choice would be toy shop, with that cunning looking Lupe. Or possibly the book shop, that Nimmo can appear pretty suspicious on some occasions. I was pondering this question as I headed towards Neopian Fresh Foods, for a Mint Ice Cream. As I counted my Neopoints, the answer dawned on me. The one store EVERYBODY has to visit is the food shop. The Neolodge gets its meals there, the soup faerie often gets donations from it, and Neopets visit regularly to enjoy a fresh hamburger or negg. The Chia there always has a smile on his face and a warm greeting for anybody who ventures in. What a better subject than he? I decided to gather background knowledge on him before I interviewed him. He is, after all, a public figure, how hard could it be to find out about him?

The first place to check was the pound, to find out where he came from. The ominous Dr. Death informed me the food shop Chia had never resided there. It was then I decided this was going to be a bit more challenging than I first thought. I visited Hubrid Nox, who told me the Food Shop Chia was an old friend of his. The Chia Clown only chuckled and threw a pie in my face when I asked about the Food Shop Chias past. After the Highland Chia chased me around screaming “Yeh fight like a lassie!” though, I began to tire of interviews. I was running around in dead circles, and the only way to find out about the Food Chia appeared to get it straight from him.

I scheduled to meet him a week later, & became nervous as it slowly approached. On the day of, I scrambled to Neopia Central and began the interview.

Myself: So, why do you run the food shop?

Chia: For my master, Slo… I mean, the Happiness Faerie. Nothing suspicious about the Happiness Faerie… She’s quite helpful; she even decides what foods I’ll stock.

Myself: Really? What sort of foods do you stock?

Chia: My personal favorites are the Sloth Day Nachos and Sloth Day Pasta. We run a whole line of Sloth foods for your growing neopet. The Sloth foods are excellent for mind contr… Err… Mind growth! Yes, your pet must have Sloth foods in order to achieve optimal intelligence.

Myself: Do you have any help running the store? It’s a large shop; I bet you have family that helps out.

Chia: I know a lot of Grundos who help me out. Mostly mutant Grundos, those are the only ones that can be trusted anymore, since that horrible Space Faerie freed the Grundos.

Myself: She freed them from Sloth! Sloth is a horrible villain, they are much better now that he’s gone.

Chia: How dare you talk about Sloth that way! He is an excellent leader and he will be back to rule over Neopia! Someday, you will bow to his mighty power! Muahahaha!

At this point in the interview, I was a little scared, but with good cause. The Chia jumped onto a nearby table and threw a Chia Apple Bomb at me. I dodged just in time, and ran over to him, to see what was going on. Then I saw, on his apron there is a small “On, Off” switch, which I quickly pressed. The Chia slumped over, and upon closer inspection I noticed he was nothing but a piece of scrap metal with the words “Property of Sloth” written across the back of his head. Even I could take a hint from those signs; this is nothing but an imposter! I heard a slight cackle behind me, and turning, I caught glimpse of a black cape and red eyes running from the store.

I took the liberty of heading towards the back of the store, where I saw a crumpled note clumsily stuck on the storage door. It was dated back a few months ago; however it was too smeared to see the exact date.

“I am taking a trip to Terror Mountain to see my good friends Mike and Carassa. (They keep saying they’ll move someplace warm, but they can never seem to sell all their junk) I may be back sometime in the future, but I am getting tired of serving food to picky Pteris and demanding Draiks. A yellow Chia has come to take my place, although he seems a bit odd. He has robotic movements and talks of a master that will one day rule Neopia. Perhaps I am wrong in leaving the store to him, but I am sure everything will be fine.

–Tom, owner of Neopian Fresh Foods”

At least no harm had come to the owner of the store, but it leaves many questions left open in the air. Why did Sloth want the food shop? Will our favorite yellow Chia ever be back? Will Mike and Carassa EVER finish selling their items? Nobody is quite sure of these answers, yet many will try to tell you otherwise. As for now, the toy shopkeeper has created a giant yellow Chia plushie to pose as the owner of Neopian Fresh Foods. I thought Neopets may notice when he doesn’t respond to questions & see his seam line, but the toy shopkeeper says since he’s a Chia it’s expected. Being as she’s a Lupe, I’m sure her views are a little skewed. However, these observations must be saved for another day. I need to pay a visit to my favorite shopkeeper of all anyhow, the Chocolate Shopkeeper.

 
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