teh 1337est n00zpaper Circulation: 197,846,079 Issue: 1008 | 17th day of Hunting, Y26
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Your questions answered!


Read the answers to the most commonly asked Neopets questions this week in the Editorial section. Each week the most popular questions will be answered by one of the creators of Neopets, so keep checking back to stay updated.


Quote of the Week


She nodded at the loading screen, a satisfied smile on her face, and hopped out of the room. Overgrown claws ticked on the floor as she made her way through dark and dreary halls and to the elevator that would take her above ground.


A Quick Buzzer and Buzzer Honey Guide



Have you always wanted to know more about buzzers and the honey they make? So has Chadonis Rumpbottom, the owner of Honey's Apiary, which is a-buzz with all kinds of honey-making Petpets. She has compiled a quick non-comprehensive list of different buzzers, their quirks, and the flavours and uses of their honeys for you, dear reader: Common Buzzer - local Buzzers are a friendly sort, and thrive almost anywhere where they can find flowers and plants. They may take a liking to a Neopet-built hive, but they also make their own in the trees. Buzzer honey is sweet and thick, and good for a sore throat! Pink and Purple Buzzers are variants of the local friendly Buzzer, and live quite happily alongside each other, and their honey tastes different. They have a notable preference for their respective colours in flowers. Pink Buzzer Honey is light pink, and has a little cotton candy-like flavor, and Purple Buzzer honey is lavender in colour, and tastes similarly lavender-y. Grey Buzzer - Grey Buzzers are quite the sad little creatures by nature, and like low-to-the-ground and dark places to live in. Their best honey season is during the fall, and their honey tends to be thicks and grey-ish in colour but tastes quite lovely despite the unappetising appearance. It's also an excellent mood-booster! The Grey Buzzer buzz is a very distinctly low, moody one.

Are Your Negg Prizes Gathering Dust?



Well, folks, that’s a wrap on another successful Festival of Neggs! Neopians gathered in Faerieland this year to celebrate one of the most popular annual events. Yes, the Festival of Neggs is one of the most popular events despite Orion’s comments… Let us continue! The dedicated — and usually cheery — Negg Faerie, Kari, hosted another wonderful event even though she kicked off the festivities in a gloomy mood. If you completed Kari’s quests each day, congratulations on your Negg collection! Now, you’re probably wondering what to do with all those prizes you have stockpiled in your Safety Deposit Box. Well, you’re in luck now that you have the Very Official Guide of Recommended Uses of Your Year 26 Festival of Negg Prizes! Let’s begin. Grey Ukulele: One of this year’s hottest Negg choices was the Grey Negg! That means you’re probably holding on to one, two, or even 14 Grey Ukuleles! Congratulations?? If you thought you were going to strum the latest hits from The Hikalakas on your new ukulele, think again. This ukulele doesn’t even play music! Have no fear, our team of experts is here to help you put that ukulele to work! If you’re handy, we recommend flipping your Grey Ukulele upside down and sticking it into the ground. Now, you have a birdhouse for your Weewoo or other flying friends to roost. Not into flying Petpets? No worries!

Quiz: Which Evil Coconut Are You?


Seasons change, Neopian shopkeepers are turning grey, weekly quests finally rotate… and with this last change came the re-release of the previously contest-exclusive Flaming Evil Coconut. Everyone is scrambling to get Evil Coconuts, and thus an Evil Coconut shortage in Neopia has begun. You make a feeble attempt to knock down a coconut at Coconut Shy once again (and fail, as usual) in hopes of getting some coconuts for your album. A curious question crosses your mind, as you stare at the wide variety of evil coconuts smirking back at you: Which Evil Coconut are you most like? Well, you’re in luck! Take this quiz right now to find out which Evil Coconut you are! 1. Which of the following villains do you most identify with? A) Jhudora. People, there’s only 16 minutes and 40 seconds left. HURRY UP!!! B) Pant Devil. I like my presents. Advent Calendar is my favourite time of year, and the Rod of Supernova is finally mine! C) Tax Beast. I have my top-scoring trophy of the Tax Beast on proud display. D) Shadow Usul. I’m someone who is more of the dark, mysterious type - a Neopian of few words. E) Lava Ghoul. I can be a bit hot-headed.

Other Stories
"The Unexpected Gift" by _dezygurl_
“Arrgghhhhuuuughhhh!!” Athaleas grunts and groans as she stretches in bed. Sliding her head out from underneath her pile of pillows, she manages to open one eye and attempts to check the time on her alarm clock. 6:55 AM it reads. “Really?” she grumbles aloud, “I had FIVE more minutes to sleep. Those five minutes mattered!” She slowly slithers both legs off the edge of the bed and sits up. Continuing to stretch her arms toward the sky, Athaleas staggers to the bathroom to brush her teeth and wash her face. No matter your species, Athaleas will tell you “skin care is vital to maintaining a youthful glow.” “Honey! Is that you? You’re up early!” a muffled voice shouts from below. “Come down when you can, I have something SPECIAL waiting for you!” That’s Brennie, Athaleas’ mom. She’s one of those outgoing, bubbly mothers who is overly sweet, extremely chatty, and definitely a morning person. “Who else would it be?” Athaleas mutters to herself. Her father Elex was on a business trip halfway around the world of Neopia and wouldn’t be returning for at least another three days. Athaleas still couldn’t understand why that job couldn’t wait. It was her special week, after all.

"A Surprise for Trudy" by maddie_bangz
It was a breezy spring afternoon when Trudy decided to go on one of her long walks around Neopia. She loved basking in the warm sunshine and smelling all of the blossoming flowers on her route. She grabbed some loose Neopoints and threw them in her bag before heading out the door. She had no idea where she was heading today, but that was the fun of her walks. She never knew where they’d take her! After all, these walks led to her discovering her Surprise Slot Machine all those years ago, which changed her life forever. There were plenty of Neopians out on the streets, smiling and waving as she passed them by. Everyone loved Trudy and her Slot Machine, it was always a highlight of their day. Trudy loved seeing their eyes light up when the machine awarded them their Neopoints and occasional bonus prizes. A light bulb went off in Trudy’s head. “I should probably start looking for some fun new prizes soon…” She mumbled to herself, trying to decide where she should look for the new rotation of items. She was so lost in her thoughts that she didn’t even realise that the streets had cleared of people and rumbling clouds had started gathering overhead. She snapped back to attention when a loud boom of...

"The Young Archer " by quartu
Altador was lovely this time of year. The sea breeze was cool and gentle, the smells of fresh pastries and floral perfume filled every corner of the city. They had begun preparing for the Altador Cup, decorations of each team colour hung proudly over the Arena District. Far from the city, however, near the quaint wheat fields, Morgan, a yellow acara sat still amongst the gently swaying wheat, her trusty training bow lay in her lap as she contemplated the events of the day. She had been spending her summers in the great city for as long as she could remember, studying archery under the guidance of the mighty King himself. Her parents had done a great deed for the city, so the council had no problem looking after young Morgan while her family was preoccupied with their duties. She didn’t mind it one bit, getting to learn about Altador’s vast and rich history and hearing tales of the council's heroics were a few of her favourite activities. However, being surrounded by so many great heroes made her feel quite inadequate at times. Fidgeting with her bow she stared out over the rolling farm hills, even outside its grand walls the land was so beautiful and the acara took it all in peacefully. As she sat still her muscles began to ache.


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Great stories!


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The Young Archer
"Altador was lovely this time of year. The sea breeze was cool and gentle, the smells of fresh pastries and floral perfume filled every corner of the city..."

by quartu

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The Fugitive
"...What am I doing?"

by petfriendamy

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Salem of the Sway
"Within the confines of the cell, Salem sat shoulder to shoulder with his father, glued to his side in fear of losing him again. He would..."

by skittleskit09

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The Best Destinations in Neopia for a Summer Getaway
Summer is almost here, which means it’s time to start thinking about your next vacation.

by karate

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The Beach, in Five Stages
"Camille watched the waves crash over the golden sands of her home, Mystery Island. She was no longer crying, as she was pretty sure she had cried every tear available to her. She couldn’t..."

by dennykins



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