| Neopian Institute of Volcanology
Terri the red Kougra rested her forehead in her paws
and sighed as she sat down in a chair. Days such as these were the types she
couldn't stand: confronting slacking employees. She looked up at the quavering
Faerie Meerca standing in front of her. "What am I going to do with you, Ichi_Deru?"
she finally inquired.
"I can explain--really," the Meerca quickly defended.
"It was just a slight miscalculation. I didn't MEAN to drop your Tenna in the
volcano, honest!"
"The Tenna isn't as important," Terri replied.
"The problem is that you failed to investigate the volcano's activity. We didn't
know whether or not the island village was safe from its eruption. Thank goodness
that it was, but if the volcano was too active, the people would have been doomed."
"But they weren't."
"But they could have been. It's been the same
for the past five months you've been working here! The Quiggle--"
"He tripped on a rock!"
"The volcano cone impressions--"
"My paw slipped!"
"The sulfur examinations--"
"Well, they shouldn't have been on the floor!"
"Look, Ichi_Deru, if you keep failing on important
missions like this, you could lose your job." Ichi_Deru gasped.
"Oh, no, Terri!" Ichi_Deru exclaimed. "That wouldn't
really happen--Oh, you don't really mean this, do you? My job is half my life!
The other half is...well, actually, that's a few parts. No... not really a half--but
a big part, you can be well assured! If you let me go, it would be devastating!
You don't know how much this means to me!"
Terri quirked an eyebrow, unimpressed.
"You're kidding. I know you're kidding!
You HAVE to be kidding! How could you ever let a face like this go?" Ichi_Deru
pointed to a new-found grin on her face.
"Ichi_Deru--"
"OH, NO!" Ichi_Deru cried. "THIS IS IT! JUST...
make it... quick..." Ichi_Deru covered her face with her paws defensively. "Don't
make me wait in anguish. JUST FIRE ME NOW! I KNOW you want to!"
"But--"
"You're DELIBERATELY stalling, aren't you?"
"ICHI_DERU! I'll give you another chance already!"
Terri exclaimed. Ichi_Deru's face immediately lit up.
"Y'mean it?" Ichi_Deru replied. "Really? Aww,
thanks so much, Terri! I'll see you around, call me when I have something new
to do, and I'll be in my office! New to do... that rhymes..."
SLAM!
Terri sighed. "Oh, I could have been a florist.
But noooooooo."
The Next Day: NPIA Headquarters, an... Oh, Never Mind It.
Agent_Magnolia the disco Aisha looked down into
her hands. They were times like these that made her job as difficult as it was.
Only one wrong move could result in a horrible failure, but success would send
her to beaming with pride, as few could overcome a stunt as difficult as this
one.
"Got any threes?"
"Go fish."
Magnolia stood up in shock. "But I thought you
had a three of spades! I KNOW you have a three, Sys-op!"
"No, Mag, I don't have a three. Although
I'm sure Chief over there has one," Sys-op replied, pointing across the table
to a yellow Wocky.
"I'm still not quite sure how you got me to start
playing this game," Chief replied. "I came in here to give Magnolia her next
mission, and the next thing I know, I'm playing 'Go Fish'."
"I don't see anythin' wrong with playin' 'Go
Fish'," Gabrielle the starry Kyrii remarked.
"Well, you're the one winning!" Magnolia
exclaimed. "I mean, you do have three quee... er... Chief, what was that mission
again?"
"Oh, trying to get out of losing, are we?" Sys-op
implored.
"Never mind that!" Magnolia snapped.
"Well, if you insist," Chief replied, "You're
going to Mystery Island for your next mission."
"AGAIN?" Magnolia questioned. "But... but...
I just..."
"Not the Shimane District, if you're wondering,"
Chief assured. "We've recently gotten reports that someone--unfortunately, we
don't know who--has constructed an elaborate system that will cause every volcano
on Mystery Island to erupt. We don't know why they'd want to bury the
island in lava, but we do know that the control center of the system is somewhere
in Piku Paku Volcano."
"And I'm going there by myself?" Magnolia inquired,
leaning against her desk. "But--that's INSANE!"
"No, not by yourself. The Neopian Institute of
Volcanology has already provided an escort for you. I don't know who that would
be, but I know there is one. So, you're not alone."
"Wait, you don't know who it is?" asked Sys-op.
"How do we know he's experienced?"
"Well, I would hope he is," Chief replied.
"I doubt they would set you up with an inexperienced escort."
"That's a relief," Magnolia answered. "Okay,
I guess I'll go."
"It seems a bit lacking in complexity, though,"
Gabrielle added. "I mean, who would set up a control system that makes volcanoes
erupt in a volcano? Wouldn't they be... er... hurt?"
"I'm guessing they put it there so no one would
be able to find them," Sys-op replied. "It doesn't make much sense, but--in
a way--it does." Sys-op shook her head. "Magnolia, let's get going."
"Oh, of course--hey, I'm supposed to say
that to you!"
Mystery Island
"Well, Chief said he'd be waiting just a few
miles from the volcano, but I can't seem to find anyone here," Magnolia murmured,
glancing at a map in her hands. "You would think that with a mission as serious
as this, my escort would be on time."
"I know; we're not getting any younger," Sys-op
remarked. "Hey, there's someone sitting over there," she added, pointing at
a Faerie Meerca and Cirrus leaning against a palm tree.
"You would think that she'd be on time, at least,"
said the Cirrus as they approached.
"Maybe she was delayed, or something," said the
Meerca. "I'm not a secret agent; I wouldn't know. Oh, hi there!"
"Good afternoon!" Magnolia greeted. "You wouldn't
happen to know anyone who works for a volcanology institute around here, would
you? Because I was expecting someone, and--"
"Oohhhh, you're Mongolia!" the Meerca exclaimed.
Magnolia frowned. "Uh... Marmalade? Magazine? Mango?"
"Magnolia," Magnolia corrected. "It's
not that hard. You know, like the flower?"
"Hey, I could have sworn I heard Marmalade!"
the Meerca replied. "I'm Ichi_Deru; it's a pleasure."
"I'm sure," Magnolia told her. "This here is
Sys-op." The pink Kadoatie waved from atop Magnolia's shoulder.
"And this is Nanna." The Cirrus waved as best
she could. "So now that we all know each other, we should get going. I mean,
we do have a bit of traveling to do, and we shouldn't waste any time, right?"
"A bit?" Nanna queried. "That volcano doesn't
look less than ten miles away, and unless we run, we're not getting there until
the sun sets."
"That's fine by me," Magnolia murmured. "But
if that's the case, we should set off now and quit wasting time blathering on."
"And we're walking?" Sys-op inquired.
"I guess we are."
Later that Day
"Don't EVEN try to tell me that you couldn't
have gotten some other sort of transportation to this stupid volcano!
How long HAVE we been traveling?!" an exasperated Sys-op screamed, trailing
feet behind Magnolia, Ichi_Deru and Nanna.
"It's a bit late now," Magnolia replied.
"Yeah, it's just up ahead," Ichi_Deru commented.
"And we can't run or anything now; we're all too tired!"
"Couldn't we have at least met closer to it?"
asked Sys-op. "The sun's already set!"
"Well, that means less fatigue!" Nanna commented.
"I think..."
Magnolia sighed as she saw the volcano in front
of her. "Well, this is the volcano. Do we set camp or something?"
"Um..." Ichi_Deru murmured, rummaging through
her bag. "I have... a camera... a pair of oven mitts... a Neopoint... a negg...
and a piece of lint."
"Well, that's helpful." Magnolia sighed.
"So I guess we skip camp and head right on in."
"Oh, that's professional," Sys-op murmured, striding
towards the volcano. "I don't see an entrance or anything."
"That's what our ESCORT here is for!" Magnolia
exclaimed, nudging the Faerie Meerca next to her.
"Oh--uh--er--I know where the entrance is! It
was hallowed out a century ago... by... a... tribe of..."
"You don't know, do you?" inquired Sys-op.
"That's my Ichi_Deru! Always oblivious to the
things that she SHOULD know!" Nanna exclaimed.
"Look, you're not making things easier!" cried
Ichi_Deru, throwing her arms up exasperatingly. "I've been here before! A...
couple years ago... I think. And--I think; don't hold me accountable on this--the
entrance is over thatway." She pointed left. Sure enough, a large boulder
stood to the left of the party.
"Uh... a rock?" inquired Magnolia.
"No, you silly--behind the rock!"
Ichi-Deru exclaimed. "Seriously, you would think that's at least a bit obvious."
"Are you going to spend the entire expedition
insulting me?" asked Magnolia, outraged while Sys-op and Nanna attempted to
push the boulder away.
"Me insulting you? Ridiculous!
You're the one who kept singing 'One Million Quiggle Plushies on the
Wall' throughout the entire hike here!"
"Oh, that was Sys-op!" Magnolia insisted, crossing
her arms. "If you're going to accuse me of something, at least get your facts
str--"
"Entrance's open!" Nanna interrupted. Magnolia
and Ichi_Deru frowned, before turning to enter the volcano.
Inside the Volcano
"Well, Ichi_Deru, I can't be the only one who
thinks it's just a little HOT in here, can I?" inquired Magnolia, waving a palm
fan wearily. "I've only been here three minutes and I think I've sweat off five
inches around the waist!"
"Which I think you seriously needed," murmured
Sys-op.
"SYS-OP! THAT WAS UNNECESSARY!" Sys-op
snickered as Magnolia placed her hands on her hips irately.
"Well, after having this job for so long, I've
gotten used to it!" Ichi_Deru insisted.
"Not like you're actually good at it,"
Nanna muttered.
"Be quiet, Nanna, I'm the ESCORT, remember?"
"I like Nanna already," said Sys-op to Magnolia.
Before Ichi_Deru could retort further, a voice
was heard. "Well! It certainly took you long enough, didn't it?" The party of
four turned around just soon enough to witness a fire Faerie landing on her
feet before them. She brushed her long ponytail obstructing her view behind
her as she continued.
"Magnolia, you kept me waiting! Haven't you ever
learned a thing or two about punctuality?" she inquired.
Magnolia gasped. "Oh, you're--"
"OH!" Ichi_Deru exclaimed. "I know who you are!
Don't tell me... doooon't tell me... oh, yeah! I haven't seen you in
a year or so, Tora! How's it going?"
Sys-op frowned. "You know her?"
"Of course I know her! I met her a year ago at
that volcano in Tyrannia! Where've you been since it erupte--"
"Don't remind me--I'm warning you!" Tora
frowned. "I've... been around... oh, NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS! That is NOT the
point here! The point is that you four are here, and especially yoooooou."
Tora pointed straight at Magnolia, who stepped back.
"What? Me?" Magnolia inquired. "I saved
your life!"
"You also ran me out of a job--for a little while,"
Tora added. "Do you KNOW how hard it was to find another artifact to watch after?"
"Artifact?" asked Sys-op. "We're not here
for an artifact! Every volcano on Mystery Island is going to blow if we can't
do something to stop it!"
"Oh," Tora murmured. "Tara, be a dear and come
over here for a second!"
Another Fire Faerie entered the chamber, both
hands folded behind her shoulders in a fatigued fashion. "What? This had better
be something important to interfere with my beauty sleep like this, I'm warning
all five of you--"
"No, no, nothing like that," Tora interrupted.
"Smarty-pants here says the volcanoes on Mystery Island are all going to erupt
tonight. You wouldn't happen to believe that, would you?"
"Nope, I don't believe I do."
"Well! There you have it! None of that nonsense
will come about, since Tara said so!" Tora exclaimed. "Now I can get revenge
on you for putting me out of a job!"
"Wait, hold on a second," Tara murmured. "That's
Ichi_Deru, isn't it?"
"It is."
"And she's the worst volcanologist this side
of Meridell, right?"
"Exactly."
"Well! Bon voyage, take care, have fun!" Tara
cried, waving enthusiastically and ushering the group out of the chamber. She
finally laughed once they had gone. "They won't be back."
Meanwhile
"En Guarde! How many more minutes?"
"Forty-six. You asked me a minute ago. When it
was forty-seven."
Camella the yellow Eyrie folded her arms irately,
after brushing a few strands of her short red hair out of her eyes. "This is
taking entirely too long! I'm ready to claim control of my new island now! What
should I name it? Camellalia?"
"Camel-what?" inquired En Guarde the green Krawk.
"This is all your idea, you know. You'd think you could at least think up an
original name for an island. Although this idea probably isn't one of the brightest
in the world--"
"En Guarde, be quiet. You're wasting both of
our time by talking." Camella sighed. "I really need a new sidekick."
"Sidekick? Oh. I'm appalled."
"What? Why?"
"That wasn't in my job description."
"There you go, wasting time again."
Meanwhile
"So, what's this I hear about you being a bad
volcanologist?" asked Magnolia of Ichi_Deru. "You are our escort, you know.
And escorts aren't bad. Especially when they're ushering secret agents through
these RIDICULOUSLY STEAMY VOLCANO CHAMBERS!"
"Bad? Uh, whatever do you mean? I'm not...
bad, really... just... er... ANYWAY, let's keep going; I think we still
have time to stop the volcanoes from erupting!" Ichi_Deru exclaimed, quickly
changing the subject.
"Who do you think is behind this, anyway?" asked
Nanna.
"I'll bet each of you 100 Neopoints that it's
some persistent annoying villain who's trying to get revenge on me," Magnolia
replied.
"Well, I guessed that much," said Sys-op.
"I mean, seriously--"
"Wait; I think there's someone in the next room,"
Ichi_Deru interrupted. "But I might be wrong or something, so you don't need
to open this very suspicious wooden door if you don't feel the need to."
"What's a wooden door doing in a volcano, anyway?"
Nanna inquired.
"I suppose we should find out soon enough," Magnolia
replied, knocking on the door.
A brief silence followed.
"En Guarde, I think there's someone at the door."
"And?"
"Answer it!"
Soon enough, a green Krawk answered the door
and looked around for a few seconds. "Oh, joy. Visitors. I wonder what this
is about."
"You know, the whole baking Mystery Island thing?"
Magnolia replied.
"Oh. That. Camella, Magnolia wants to stop the
volcano thing," En Guarde called. "So. How's life treating you?"
"Good, I guess! Just recently--"
"Uh-huh, that's nice, go away now, En Guarde,"
interrupted Camella, pushing En Guarde out of view. "What seems to be the problem
here?"
"Oh, you know what the problem is."
"You don't know that!"
"Yuh-huh!"
"Nuh-uh!"
"Yuh-huh!"
"Nuh-uuuuuuuuh!"
"Yuh-huuuuuuuh--!"
"MAG, CAMELLA, YOU'RE ACTING LIKE A BUNCH OF
FIVE-YEAR-OLDS!" Ichi_Deru exclaimed. "Now, I don't mean to be rude, but we
already know you're planning to cover the island in lava. So, let's just
do a little interrogating! Why?"
"Well, isn't it obvious? Then I can design my
own flag, create my own government and establish the country of CAMELLALIA!"
Camella exclaimed.
"Camellalia? Isn't that kind of--" Nanna was
cut off.
"HUSH, this is MY country here!" Camella interrupted.
"Or, at least, it will be in... ER .how long, En Guarde?"
"Two seconds."
"Wh-HUH?" Suddenly,
the ground began to tremble violently. "WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME IT WAS GOING
TO HAPPEN NOW?" Camella inquired indignantly.
"Oh. I thought you knew."
"B-but--oh, never mind it! At least I'm planned
for it this time. Come on, En Guarde!" Camella demanded.
"Oh. Goodie." Camella grabbed En Guarde by the
arm and dragged him out of the room, Magnolia's group following after. As Magnolia
turned a corner and ran across a bridge over a magma pit, she saw Camella boarding
an air balloon. "Was it really necessary to drag me here? I have legs,
you know," En Guarde complained.
"You don't run fast enough!" Camella quickly
cut a rope tied to the balloon and a rock. "I'll come back to establish Camellalia!"
she exclaimed as the balloon lifted into the air slowly.
Magnolia quickly scrambled into the balloon with
Sys-op, Ichi_Deru following suit. "You aren't getting off this easily, that's
for certain!" Magnolia cried. Suddenly, the balloon began to sink. "Er--is that
supposed to happen?"
"We're being weighed down!" Ichi_Deru replied.
"Well, this balloon is meant for TWO people,
not SIX!" Camella insisted. "But I guess since the Cirrus is flying, that doesn't
count. So it's not meant for FIVE!"
"What do we do?" Magnolia glanced at Ichi_Deru.
"Well, for starters, we can push her out of the balloon. She flies, doesn't
she?"
"Er--actually... not really."
"Not... but... YOU HAVE WINGS, FOR CRYING OUT
LOUD!" Camella shrieked.
"I don't think you're exactly in the position
to be criticizing me for having wings and not using them," Ichi_Deru murmured.
"I mean, why don't we push HER out? She IS the bad guy here!"
"It's getting a little too late to be worrying
about who to push out of the balloon now, I think," Nanna commented. The pool
of magma inside the mouth of the volcano became increasingly nearer with every
second they fell.
"OH, NO!" the group shrieked in unison.
The smoke above the volcano began to seem thicker,
and Magnolia leaned over the side of the balloon in desperation. She felt light-headed
and wished to be anywhere but in this situation as of now. As the occupants
of the balloon screamed once more, she tried to remain alert, even as despondent
as she was at the moment. Everything suddenly went black.
Mystery Island Hospital
Magnolia sat up abruptly in her hospital bed,
observing her surroundings immediately. "The hospital," she murmured. "That
makes for an anticlimactic ending every time."
"MAGNOLIA!" Ichi_Deru suddenly seemed to spring
up from nowhere. "SO glad you're okay! You know, I was waiting here for about
two hours, and you were unconscious the whooooole time!"
"Two hours, huh?" Magnolia frowned. "Where's
Sys?"
"In the waiting room. That's where she said she
went."
"What happened?"
"Oh, you wouldn't believe! The nurse said you
probably inhaled too much smoke at the volcano and passed out." Ichi_Deru clicked
her tongue with disdain. "I warned you against that, didn't I?"
"No, you didn't," Magnolia muttered. "Thanks
for telling me."
"Well, when the balloon was falling, this big
rock flew out of the volcano. It was on fire, I think. Actually, I'm pretty
sure it was. Anyway, it hit the balloon, and too much air escaped, and it went
flying all over the place. All of us were clinging onto the sides of the balloon
for dear life--except you, of course--and the balloon flew away from the volcano
and towards the rainforest... and then it hit a tree and we all fell out. The
volcano practically exploded then, but it was the only one, fortunately. All
of the other volcanoes on the island were perfectly fine. Apparently, the machinery
used to make them erupt melted in the process, so it didn't work very well.
Ah, and Tara and Tora are out of a job again." Ichi_Deru paused. "And... what
else...? Oh! Right, the police came to the scene a little while after, but Camella
escaped. I'm pretty sure she was dragging En Guarde with her, too."
"Oh, that's perfect!" Magnolia exclaimed. "She
got away?"
"Yup, she did," Ichi_Deru replied.
"So this whole mission accomplished nothing?"
inquired Magnolia.
"Nothing? Oh, I wouldn't say that. I think it
accomplished way more than you think," Ichi_Deru corrected.
The End
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