Also written by joey200010
A MESSY DESK - Not so long ago, there was a Neomail conversation between the two
authors of this article – Joey200010 (Known as Joey by most) and Chocolateisamust
(Tagged ‘Insane’ by the people who work at the Cheese Factory). For weeks they
so angrily grumbled about a disease that had washed over them and would not leave
– **Gasp** Writer’s Block! So then, Chocolate had the idea to collaborate on an
article about how to defeat the fatal illness. And it ended up promptly in the
garbage – well, actually, she put it in her Acara’s Meepit’s litterbo – erm, anyway,
it ended up awful. Then, Joey decided that the two of them write a list of way’s
to defeat the sickness… maybe they’d use the advice on themselves! So taking out
their Air Faerie Pens (quite full of ink, might you add), they began on the long
journey down the road of an article. And without further ado, the two present
to you **Pathetic drum roll* THE FINISHED PRODUCT! **Soppy tears** Anyway, erm…
here it is?
100 Ways to Beat Writer’s Block
#100. Take that useless steel block off your head – trust me, it’s not doing
you any good.
#99. Sit, sulk and whine to somebody in your household until they give you
some sort of idea – even if it’s unintentional, like by saying “Just go play
outside – climb a tree of something!” Maybe a story about a killer tree that
plans to take over the Neopia?
#98. Acquire a nice, big stick (I’d advise asking a Whack-A-Kass fan about
the best kind). Then, find Writer’s Block, and start beating it!
#97. Take a walk to clear your head.
#96. Kidnap a more imaginative author than yourself and hold them hostage until
they give you an idea.
#95. Write an article about 100 ways to beat writer’s block.
#94. Have a bubble bath.
#93. Take a nap, and dream… one of those images could turn into a bestseller!
#92. Wallow in self-pity until one of your thoughts of despair turns into something
to write about.
#91. Declare yourself not a writer, so therefore the block must go away (Because
it’s called Writer’s Block). Either you’ll get an idea then… or never write
again due to the lack of being a writer.
#90. Stare out your window until an idea magically floats into your mind, though
this may take a while.
#89. Handcuff your ankle to your chair and throw away the key. You’ll think
of something eventually.
#88. Daydream in class for a few minutes. Just let your mind wander, stare
out the window. Just make sure to borrow notes off a friend later if an important
test is coming up.
#87. Listen to music.
#86. Find a line from a song you like, and then write a short story based on
it.
#85. Ask your plushie Poogle. It probably won’t reply, but it might help to
think that SOMEBODY’S listening.
#84. Do a story collaboration with joey200010. C’mon, she needs to catch up
with Chocolate! *mutters*
#83. Go through all your story beginnings and see if any can be salvaged. Or
just stick them all together for a very confusing patchwork plot!
#82. Think of a location, throw some random characters in there and see what
happens!
#81. Read through the trading cards and Neopedia for ideas.
#80. Stay positive – At least it’s a cure for writer’s cramp!
#79. Try writing about the emotions that you feel when faces with writer’s
block. Tight feeling in your chest? Frustration? Let it all out.
#78. Take a break from writing for a while.
#77. Scrawl down the first random thing that comes to your head.
#76. Visit the pets in the Pound. They have some interesting stories that might
give you some inspiration.
#75. Take your real life, what you did today, and write about it as a Neopet.
#74. Rearrange the letters, so instead of Writer’s Block, you now have Brow’s
Trickle.
#73. Read the Neopian Times; see if anything inspires you.
#72. Compose a story about White Weewoos. Everybody loves White Weewoos.
#71. Bang your head on the wall. Again, it won’t help, but I hear it burns
150 calories and hour! Maybe you’ll think of something insightful once you’ve
recovered from your unconsciousness.
#70. Ask Chet Flash for help.
#69. Write a conversation between your pets. It helps you discover their personality,
and you might find an idea for a story in there somewhere.
#68. Scream, yell, tear up your work and start again. That way you have something
to write about!
#67. Try writing several stories simultaneously. Then if you run out of ideas
for one, switch to another.
#66. Sit down somewhere and eavesdrop on people’s conversations. Use them to
develop a scene or a plot, and see where you go from there.
#65. Open a book and randomly pick words.
#64. Write in a different genre or style.
#63. Read tips on beating writer’s block.
#62. Smash your palm on the keyboard. Ilu. You might need to do it a few times.
Uzdfsgjk. There. I don’t know where I was going with this, but you can probably
think of something.
#61. Get somebody else to write a book for you.
#60. Turn your keyboard upside down. It works - trust me.
#59. Just write, you lazy thing!
#58. Try to begin your story at the middle or end, and then do the beginning.
#57. Steal a friend’s idea. Maybe not a close friend.
#56. Read something for ideas. It could be the newspaper or an architectural
magazine, just anything to give you inspiration.
#55. Write a letter to a friend.
#54. Write rubbish. Eventually your brain will think that that this is stupid
and it might as well type something useful instead.
#53. Nourish your creative side by doing whatever stimulates you.
#52. Relax, already!
#51. Stare vacantly at your piece of paper until the tiny specks of eraser
dust seem to turn into dancing gnomes. That’d make an interesting story!
#50. Pretend that you have an idea, and it might as well turn into a real one.
#49. Type sentences about random things. Like ‘Joe is a good flower.’ Or perhaps
‘The Meepits are coming!’ I can sense a story about a Meepit named Joe who likes
flowers!
#48. Trek off into the desert and don’t give yourself any nourishment, like
food and water. Eventually, you’ll start having hallucinations. Hallucinations
= story!
#47. Think about your life – is there any particular situation that you were
in that would make a nice story or article?
#46. Jot down names and personas of characters you have in mind. ‘Bob, red
Lupe, likes to eat cheese’ could transform into your famous Neopian Times series!
#45. Take old stories you’ve written and completed, and edit them so they look
like you just wrote them recently. You can also convert Neopets to humans, humans
to Neopets etc.
#44. Take something you own and love – like Chocolate’s rabid cat for example;
she sure does adore that thing… – and think of something that you can write
about it.
#43. Ride your bike around the neighborhood… and maneuver it really badly,
too! When you plow straight into your neighbor and get in trouble beyond words…
well, that wouldn’t make such a bad tale now, would it?
#42. Clear your mind and just… write. It actually works sometimes.
#41. Draw a picture – sometimes the pretty Wocky with the frilly pink bows
turns into a character!
#40. Find another person, a writer (preferably not suffering from writer’s
block), and chat with them over ideas. Try to contribute to the conversation
with the ones you don’t really have… but wait, if you don’t really have them
then how – ah, never mind.
#39. Drink Neocola… a lot, a lot, a lot of Neocola.
#38. Spin around in a revolving chair until you get dizzy. The hazy images
that then dance around in your head could turn into a story.
#37. Sift through essays you were forced to write from school, and maybe a
pick a subject from one of them and use it for an article.
#36. During dinner, stare at your food until buttered corn turns into a tall
and thin Kacheek and the cucumber into a green Kiko. You could use those characters
for your piece.
#35. Eat a lot of peppermint candy – it worked for Chocolate!
#34. Go swimming. Water tends to soothe your mind… and even if it doesn’t,
who can resist bonking their older brother on the head with a pool raft?
#33. Sit back hidden in the shadows at a public location and observe people.
How they behave can be how your new characters do, too.
#32. Laugh hysterically for no reason – the joyous setting of this could inspire
you. How this works, we haven’t a clue but uh… Nevermind.
#31. Poke people and giggle when they stare at you. If they make a rude comment,
use that as the first words in your story.
#30. Go on a search around Neopia for an idea. Maybe how Fyora orders the removal
of your wings because of some ‘accidental robbery’ you committed in the Hidden
Tower? Wait… how in Jhudora’s sake do you have wings!? IS THIS A CONSPIRACY!!!?!?!?!
#29. Sing annoying show tunes until they turn into ideas.
#28. Go on a joyous stroll through the Haunted Woods and visit Edna the Witch.
She’ll give you good ideas as she turns you into pie!
#27. Intrude a famous author’s home and steal their half-finished stories.
Don’t worry; the lawsuits will only get you half your life in prison.
#26. Stay up late in the night; story ideas sometimes pick the oddest time
to float into your head.
#25. Collaborate with somebody – it helped in the case of Joey and Chocolate!
#24. Make loud, random comments like “HMMM” or “AH!”. They help… somehow.
#23. Write up random pages of gibberish, and try to decode HIOWEHGOWIEGH into
something that makes sense.
#22. Go to your favorite restaurant. Maybe a nice lunch/dinner/whatever will
make your mind happy.
#21. Stare up at the lights. Soon your vision will be blurred. Form the blur
into ideas.
#20. Poke buttons on the Lost Desert calculator. Many numbers look like letters.
See what you can write!
#19. Keep a diary or journal.
#18. Sing your story.
#17. When you get an idea, be sure to write it down.
#16. Try doing your story as a poem.
#15. Change your writing location.
#14. List things that inspire you.
#13. Swap from first person narrative to third person, or vice versa. Sometimes
it’s as simple as that.
#11. If you have a deadline, don’t leave it until the last minute. Stress will
cause a mental block.
#10. Keep a diary by your bed, and jot down your dreamed ideas. Then once you’re
awake, try to figure out what in the name of white Weewoos you were talking
about.
#9. Pick a few words, then try to use them in a paragraph. E.g. Usul, redoubtable,
moose, china set.
#8. Put your name on somebody else’s work and take credit. They won’t mind.
And by won’t I mean will.
#7. Become an avid reader.
#6. Write an article about writers block AND THEN write an article about writing
an article about writer’s block.
#5. Take off the boxing gloves.
#4. Think about something else entirely. Just to spite you, your brain will
think about writing something excellent.
#3. Tip number three has been erased due to lack of enthusiasm.
#2. Throw your computer out the window. It doesn’t solve your problems, but
it eases your frustration. For a while, anyway.
#1. And, if all else fails, you can always try parachuting instead!
Now, many words later, you have completed reading our list. We’re going to
write a long letter to the parachute company after we complete this paragraph
explaining why there’s a sudden burst of parachuting-hopefuls. Eek, the author
we kidnapped from #96 needs their daily meal of Squishy Brai – gourmet food.
This is Joey and Chocolate not live from a messy desk; see you next time!
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