|
KRAWK LAIR - Christmas Eve, Afternoon
Stevo Furwin was busy decorating the Lair with
cheerful Christmas decorations. The infamous PetPet conservationist had been
enjoying some well-deserved rest after his harrowing visit to the horrible world
of disco, and now, the Christmas season was at hand. "Blimey..." Stevo said
as he hung another sprig of mistletoe, "I sure love Christmas!"
"Me too, mate!" Les chimed, putting the finishing
touches on the Christmas tree. Ever since he'd conquered his Florg addiction,
Les had been enjoying the easy life at the Lair. Many new PetPets had been coming
in, and he'd been building them new and more spacious enclosures- not to mention
his work on the Web site, All in all, he'd been a busy little Kyrii.
"Christmas is great!" Quivel said. The intrepid
camera Quiggle was busy hanging paper snowflakes from the ceiling, standing
somewhat precariously on a chair to do so. Camermen always had the most dangerous
jobs, after all. Though Quivel secretly desired to ask Santa to make Les go
away again so that he could have the 'best mate' job back again, he was relatively
happy with the state of things.
"Bah-humbug!" snapped Keri. "Christmas is only
good for one thing - the Advent Calendar. All through the month of Celebrating,
we can get all these free things from the giving, sharing saps down in Happy
Valley. Then we go out and buy some of those same items from other shops that're
selling them cheaply, and hoard! Hoard! Hoard!" Keri greedily rubbed her paws
together. "Then a few months from now, when the prices are high again, we sell!
Sell! Sell!"
"Somebody needs a bit of the ol'Chrismas spirit!"
Les grinned, reaching for a Tree-Shaped Cookie.
"Stop that!" Keri shouted, swatting Les' paw
away. "You'll eat up all our profit."
"But Mrs. Furwin..." Quivel whined, eyeing the
Deluxe Candy-Cane. "It's Christmas!"
"Come on, honey," Stevo said, trying to distract
the grumpy Acara, "Give me a kiss. I've got mistletoe..."
"I don't care if you've got Itchy Scratchies,
Stevo. I'm busy making an inventory list of all these Advent Calendar prizes,
and how many we have of each in storage. We're going to be rich!" Keri waved
a long sheet of paper, on which all the gifts were detailed.
"She's making a list... checking it twice...
going to ruin Christmas by not being nice..." Les sang as he skipped out the
door.
"Bah-Humbug!" Keri said again, returning to
checking her list. "Only soft hearted fools celebrate Christmas. Who would want
to give gifts and waste all that NP, when you could be getting free things from
the Advent Calendar, buying up cheap stuff, and hoarding to take advantage of
the slobbering masses who are too brainless to think in advance? Not to mention
all those newcomers to Neopia, and those collectors, and...."
Quivel slipped out the door after Les, sighing.
"Those goodies looked delicious! We're never going to have any Christmas fun
with Keri being so grumpy and tight-fisted."
"I know. This is a very un-Merry thanks to Keri
Christmas." Les sighed, sinking his head onto his paws and looking rather despondent.
He barely looked up a moment later when Stevo came out to join them, swishing
his tail in thought.
"Crikey, mates..." moaned Stevo, "We've got
to do something to save Christmas. At this rate, we're not even going to have
a Turkey Dinner this year!"
The three distraught members of the Krawk Krew
sat out in the cold while in the background the sounds of Keri's cackling laughter
could be heard from inside. She, at least, seemed delighted with the way the
season was going. After all, for her, it was the season of greed, just another
reason to rake in NP. What could they possibly do to change her mind? Keri was
as stubborn an Acara as they come, and getting her in the giving, loving spirit
was definitely going to be no easy task.
"We could pelt her with snowballs until she
gives in," Quivel suggested.
"How about we just put our own NP together and
make a Christmas without her?" Les suggested. "I've got... let's see here...
one... two... three...never mind."
"...Wait! I've got the perfect idea!" Stevo
said, doing a little happy dance.
"Sell her to Balthazar?" quipped Quivel.
"Dress her up in something green and decorate
her like a tree?" Les asked.
"No, no... we're going to wait until she's asleep,
see, and then..."
Later That Night...
Keri Furwin was sound asleep, dreaming of all
the NP she was going to make from selling Advent Calendar items, when suddenly
she was startled into wakefulness. The window was open, and a chill wind blew
in. Floating eerily in front of the window was a Yellow Abominable Snowball,
which opened its mouth and spoke in a voice that sounded surprisingly like Les...
"Booooooooo! I am the Yellow Snow of Christmas Pis-Past!" The sounds of smacking
and grumbling came from somewhere outside.
"You look like one of the PetPets from the zoo
to me," Keri muttered, rubbing her eyes, "Except for that whole floaty-talky
thing." Noticing Stevo was still snoring soundly next to her, she thwapped him
with a pillow. "Wake up - we've got a possessed PetPet here!"
"Crikey!" Stevo said, sitting up in bed. "It's
the Yellow Snow of Christmas Past!"
"That's what I said, mate - weren't you listening?"
said the Snow of Christmas Past, its eyes glowing red.
"Oh... right. Go on." Stevo said, while a dubious
Keri retrieved her pillow in case she needed it to defend herself from the spirit
of slightly sodden snow.
"Remember when you were a little Acara, growing
up on your parent's farm in..." The Snowball paused in speaking for a moment,
though its mouth kept opening and closing, just the same. "Uh... that place...
and you got presents under the tree? A bike, a dolly, a Frost Cannon to freeze
the souls of your enemies..."
"Oh, I remember that!" Keri said, smiling just
a bit. "I really loved my first frost cannon. The chickens took weeks to thaw
out!"
Stevo grinned, and quietly gave the thumbs up
to the Snow of Christmas Past. He knew that outside the window, Les was speaking
for the Snow while Quivel bounced the PetPet up and down on the end of his Tongue
Whip (he'd tied the Snowball on) to make it look floaty and mysterious. His
plan was working perfectly.
"Remember how wonderful it was to eat Turkey
Dinner, and cookies of all kinds, and candy canes? The smell of fresh pine needles
from your Christmas tree?" the Snow went on to say.
"Yes, it was great. The best part of it all
was that my parents paid for it, and I didn't have to shell out for a thing.
The window's getting a bit drafty-can you kindly remove your possessed self
so that we can close it?" Keri muttered, starting to look a bit cross.
"Uh-oh, we're losing her..." whispered Quivel
outside the window. "We'd better bring in the next PetPet!"
"My time here is over - but now, you'll be visited
by the Snowbunny of Christmas Present!" the Snowball said as it made a hasty
departure.
"How about we visit the Paw of Window Closing?"
Keri snapped, starting to get out of bed, somewhat put out by all this supernatural
business interrupting her good dreams.
"Now, Keri..." Stevo admonished. "A visit from
the PetPets of Christmas is a very special thing. We should just watch and see
what they have to say."
"They? How many more of these pint-sized poltergeists
are there?" she groaned, though getting back into bed.
"One more after this one," he assured her.
The Snowbunny of Christmas Present, however,
was being a bit less than cooperative outside the window, however. She expressed
her displeasure by biting Quivel twice, and kicking Les in the nose before she
was finally calm enough to be dangled from the Tongue Whip. "Remember to move
your mouth like you're talking..." Les whispered to the Snowbunny, who ignored
him entirely and just spun around so that she went in tail first in a gesture
of contempt for the whole business.
"It's a bunny butt..." Keri said, unamused.
"My Christmas present is a furry posterior."
"I am the Snowbunny of Christmas Present!" it
said, in a voice that also sounded rather like Les. "If you saw my face you
would be stunned by my awesome cuteness, so you must view the tail. Look into
the tail, and see your Christmas present...."
"Hah!" Keri snapped. "I don't see anything special!"
"Exactly!" said the Snowbunny, though Keri didn't
want to think about where its voice might be coming from, considering the end
that was facing towards them. "You're ruining Christmas for your friends and
family. Everyone is unhappy because of your selfish hoarding. No special presents...
no yummy foods... no cheer! You, Keri Furwin, are destroying the Christmas spirit!"
"I... I am not!" she cried, starting to get
quite upset. "I'm just trying to make money to fund our zoo! We need NP for
conservation!"
"Yes... even though NP is important, we cannot
forget what's truly..." With that, the Snowbunny made a flying kick towards
the window, and out, landing right on Les' head.
"Quivel, you idiot! You dropped the Whip, and
the bunny fell on me!" Les whispered, then called up in the bunny voice "I...
had another appointment. The Snowager needs Christmas Spirit. We're moving right
along to Christmas Future now..."
Les and Quivel hastily tied the Whip around
a Christmas Doglefox, and lifted him up into the window. Fortunately, he was
much better-behaved, if a bit excited and panting slightly.
"I'm the Doglefox of Christmas Future..." he
said, in a voice that also sounded suspiciously like Les, " And your future
is very dim."
"Oh, no..." gasped Keri..."Why?"
"If you don't give in to the Christmas spirit,
no one will buy you any presents. No one will celebrate. You'll be sad, and
alone, and everyone will call you the Acara that Ruined Christmas for all eternity..."
said the Doglefox, scratching his ear while talking.
"Crikey, Keri... you don't want that! Maybe
you'd better do something to change your future..." Stevo suggested.
"But... I don't know if I can change!" wailed
Keri. "I don't want to be known as the Acara that Ruined Christmas! Help me!
I want to find the Christmas Spirit!"
"The Christmas Spirit is inside of you. It's
inside each one of us. The love you have for your husband, and your best friend
and all-around wonderful guy Les, and that shrimpy camera-guy Quivel, and all
of Neopia is your Christmas Spirit. When you let your Christmas Sprit shine,
everyone is happy!"
"Well said, mate," Stevo said, brushing back
a tear.
"Actually, I barely tolerate most of Neopia.
But yeah, I guess I love you guys..." Keri admitted grudgingly. "Now close the
window, stop possessing the PetPets and get some sleep because tomorrow we're
going to have a Christmas feast, and eat all the Advent Calendar goodies until
we can eat no more! And then, we'll give gifts, and sing carols around the tree!"
The Christmas spirit had finally reached Keri
- and the Krawk Krew had a very merry Christmas after all!
The End
Author's Note: From all of us at the Krawk Krew - (Shidi, WizardofAus, Stevo,
Keri, Les, Quivel, the PetPets, and the Krawk Lair Guild) - best wishes for a
very merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!
The parody in this story is intentional, and the characters used in it reside
on the account Krawk_Files.
As always, thank you for reading, and feel free to Neomail
me if you've got a question, comment, or are just feeling a bit riled! | 
