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Untitled Document
Jubby looked up from his "Dig It!" magazine, and noticed
that he and the sleeping Digger had been deposited in the perpetual twilight of
the Haunted Forest. He stretched, ran his toes through his messy fur, and kicked
his trademark Kaudora into place. Digger, he noticed, was peacefully snoring,
and moving his little paws in hot pursuit of something. With a slight grin, Jubby
did what he knew he had to do.
"Hey, wake up sleepy head," he said, giving
his sidekick a gentle nudge. Digger whined, and tried to ignore Jubby's little
kicks…but to no avail. Finally, he had to roll to his feet and sigh.
"I almost caught her, you know," he said bitterly.
"Dream on, little buddy. Dream on." Jubby told him with a pat.
They set out through the gloom, avoiding the trees, the mushrooms, and just
about everything else they came across. Digger was especially agitated. Jubby
looked down at his sidekick, and grinned.
"Don't be so tense, Digger. I know where we're going," he said.
"It's not that! It's…" Digger paused, and looked around as if to see if anyone
was listening. "… you know what happens to sidekicks in places like this!"
"Uh… you get captured by the villain and I rescue
you in the nick of time?"
"No, that usually happens in the climatic ending.
About this time, a pit full of spikes or Wajets or something should open up
under my feet. I'll fall screaming to the bottom, and lay there twitching in
horrible pain!"
"That doesn't happen to sidekicks!"
"Does too! I've seen it in dozens of movies!"
Jubby sighed, and decided he was going to be
more careful about what he let Digger watch before bed. "Those weren't sidekicks,
Digger."
"Then what were they?"
"Bit players, sort of like the Red Furs on Skeith
Trek."
Digger's little eyebrows knit together as he
tried to make sense of Jubby's words. "But…but Jubby! YOUR fur is red!" he protested
finally.
"Aha, but I'm the hero." Jubby said with a dashing
toothpaste-commercial smile. "It doesn't matter what color my fur is… and… technically…
my fur is strawberry, not red."
"But…"
"Never mind Digger, we're here," Jubby said
in a soothing voice. He understood his perturbed petpet's problem; the first
few times he'd entered the Haunted Forest it had scared the seeds out of him
too. Even when he looked up at Edna's imposing tower, he couldn't help but feel
a little quivery in the knees. Still…as the hero, Jubby knew he must boldly
trudge on!
"Welcome to my home!" Edna cackled as soon as
hero and sidekick were inside. "I deal in spells and potions! Want someone to
love you? Need to give someone spots and itches? I'm the one to talk to!"
Jubby tried to give another of his dashing toothpaste
commercial smiles, and Digger tried to hide his quaking knees by hiding behind
Jubby's quaking knees. Edna gave them both an appraising look.
"You don't look like questers," she said with
a sigh. "And I was so hoping for someone to fetch me a Neonip Critter for my
spell."
Digger perked up at the words "Neonip Critter",
and began rummaging around in the bag that Jubby had slung over his fluff. Jubby
raised an eyebrow at his seeking sidekick, but before he could ask, Digger emerged,
with a Neonip critter in his mouth. Still quaking from ears to tail, he laid
the toy at Witch Edna's feet.
"But…" Jubby whispered "That's your favorite
toy. Fyora give it to you!"
Digger scampered back to Jubby, and sighed.
"I know…but it doesn't smell like her anymore. I'm sure she'll understand… and
I know she's got a drawer full of toys in that tower somewhere!"
Edna picked up the critter, and smiled down
on Jubby and Digger. "Thank you boys. What can I do for you? Grundo stix? Techo
claws? Eye candy?" "Ummm…" Jubby said, fighting down a wave of nausea. "We actually
just want some information."
"You should've gone to the Esophagor then."
She shrugged. "He's the information creature around here."
"It's… about Esmeredna the Enchantress," Jubby
told her.
Edna's eyebrows raised, and she pressed her lips
together thoughtfully. "Who told you about Extremely Great Garndma Esmeredna?"
"The Island Mystic."
"I know it." Edna rolled her eyes. "Have a few
slushies too many with that old codger, and sooner or later the whole of Neopia
knows your secrets! Why do you want to know about her anyway? She's dead."
Jubby sighed. He knew she'd be asking that question.
He braced himself for the impending music, and said "I need to know about THE
WOODEN SPOON!"
The jars and bottles of…stuff on the shelves
rattled like the chains of a hyperactive ghost. Edna's hat blew off and was
caught by a few Techo claws hanging from the ceiling. Edna herself was forced
backwards and her cackles filled the music-swollen air.
"Old Granny Esme's spoon eh?" she said with
a chuckle. "Afraid I can't help you."
"Can't or won't?" Jubby asked. He knew that
Edna HAD to know something, and suspected that she might even have the Spoon
herself.
"Can't, like I said. The Spoon's been lost to
my family since Granny Esme died."
"What can you tell me about Esmeredna?"
Edna gestured to her worktable, and all the bits,
bobs and magical paraphernalia put themselves away in a flurry of organized
chaos. She took a seat, and motioned for her guests to do likewise. Once our
hero and his sidekick were seated, Edna began her story.
"Well, old Granny Esme was quite the witch,
let me tell you that first off. They might call her a sorceress or an enchantress
or whatever they please, but she was Neopia's first and best witch. Made me
look like an apprentice, and Kauvara look like a bootlegger. She didn't use
quite the gruesome ingredients that I have to, but then she had the Spoon. That
spoon could do anything. She carved it herself from a dead branch of the Brain
Tree. That tree was the first living thing in this forest, and she knew that
when part of it died, that part would be very magical."
"If she was so powerful," Digger piped up "How
did she die?"
Edna cackled, and reached across the table to
pet the Doglefox. "It was because she was so powerful that she died, little
feller." Edna explained. "After years and years and YEARS of working, Granny
Esme was ready to create her most powerful spell. She wanted to put all her
knowledge into a spell, and create something that would let her hard work and
wisdom live forever. So, using the most powerful spell ingredients and slimiest
magical slimes she could find, Granny Esme cast her spell. She used her spoon
to stir it all of course, and to smooth the finished creation on the ground
outside this very tower."
Jubby and Digger were leaning forward in their
seats. Sure, Edna might be old and grumpy, and indifferent to whom or what had
to die to make her potions, but she sure did tell a good story! Edna paused
for dramatic effect, took a deep breath, and went on.
"Unfortunately, Granny Esme hadn't eaten in
the entire three day period it took to prepare this most powerful spell. So,
as the slime congealed into a monstrous…thing, a great mouth opened in the creature,
and it swallowed Granny Esme whole! Those who were watching, heard a deep, rumbling
voice say "III AMMM HUNNNGRRYYY! Feeeeeeeed Meeeee!" and they all ran in terror.
You see, Granny Esme had put so much of herself into that spell that her creation,
the Esophagor, got her hunger too…a hunger that can never be satisfied."
Jubby and Digger sat there for a moment, jaws
to the floor and eyes wide in horror. Finally, Jubby shook off his shock, and
asked a question that he hoped wasn't too insensitive.
"Ummm… did the Esophagor eat the spoon too?"
he asked, a little timidly.
"Of course," Edna shrugged. "Granny had a death
grip on that thing." She paused, and began cackling. "Death-grip! Eheheheheh!
I made a funny! Anyway, the Esophagor swallowed the spoon all right, but Esmeredna's
daughter, Edlizabeth found it on the ground the next day. Guess it was too much
fiber. Eheheheheeheh!"
"Where's the spoon now? Do you have it?" Jubby
asked excitedly. He just KNEW he was getting close to the answer!
"That's the same question that the Mutant Grundo
in the black night-gown asked after I told him this story.
"Dr. SLOTH has been here?" Jubby asked in utter
shock. Alarms were going off in his fuzzy head, bells, whistles, gongs, the
whole nine yards. He realized that no other evil was powerful enough, ambitious
enough, and, well, EVIL enough to go after the Wooden Spoon!
"Yep I think that was his name," Edna confirmed.
"And I'll tell you the same thing I told him."
"Which is?" Jubby and Digger asked together,
breathless in anticipation.
"I don't have the spoon, and don't know where
it is. Only one being in all of Neopia would know for sure."
Jubby and Digger looked at each other. It was
obvious that Edna expected them to know who she was talking about… but neither
of them had a clue.
"The Esophagor, you dopes!" Edna said after
a long and uncomfortable silence. "He was there when Elizabeth decided what
to do with it… he's the only one who knows."
Digger sighed, and slumped in his seat. Jubby
looked over and smiled encouragingly. "Hey, at least he's not far from here,"
he said.
"Maybe not," Digger said, "but you're not bite-sized!"
To be continued...
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