The Neo-Market Report

By stereolab

Once more it's time for us to drop in on Neopia's leading market watchers. Visiting Neil and Maria this week will be Wilton the Woodlands Wocky, spokesperson for the Wocky Wildlife Cooperative (WWC), who will be here to discuss his organisation's anti-technology stance as they advocate their "Back to Nature" movement. And now, here are our hosts…

KAUVUTO: Hello and welcome to this week's edition of The Neo-Market Report. I am your host Neil Kauvuto, and as always I am joined by my lovely co-host Maria Blumaroono, who joins us from The News Desk with all the day's latest financial news. Take it away, Maria…

BLUMAROONO: Well Neil, what goes up must come down, so it's not much of a surprise that last week's rising Neodaq has once again faltered, dropping seventeen points as investors decided to get out while the getting was good. As promising as last week's thirty-three-point rise was, the reality of investors taking the quick money and running has caused market to return to its slumping ways.

Leading the way for those who felt the bite of this Bearish market was Cybun Electromatics, which gave back half of last week's 195-point gain with this week's ninety point plunge. Also feeling the burn this week was Techrobatics Fitness Videos, who trimmed fifty-five points from their share value to close the week at 539 NP's a share. However, when asked about this week's tumbling stock price, Techrobatics President Jayne Simmons didn't seem concerned, stating, "I can't really say that we're all that worried by this latest correction in the market. After all, we nearly doubled the value of our stock just the week before. So no, I'd say we're not really concerned."

This same nonchalant attitude was also evident when Unis Salon President Fabiana Kotzencraft discussed their company's forty-one-point slide. "Given the wildness of this current market, I think the fact that we've been right around five-hundred NP's for the past three weeks speaks well for our company, making us one of the most stable names on The Big Board."

KAUVUTO: Surprisingly enough, our visitor today at The Neo-Market Report is someone who knows virtually nothing about quarterly earnings or price-to-earnings ratios. However, he is someone who has a lot to say about the ways in which Neopian industrial technology is changing our lives. Joining us today is Wilton the Woodlands Wocky, spokesperson for the Wocky Wildlife Cooperative (WWC). Wilton, thank you for joining us today…

WILTON: I'm glad to be here, Neil. It's good to see that The Neo-Market Report is willing to let someone like myself, who doesn't necessarily agree with a lot of the stuff going on in our economy, come on and express their views.

KAUVUTO: Well, here at The Neo-Market Report we like to give everyone a chance to be heard. Now, could you tell us a little bit about your organisation, to give us an idea of what the WWC is all about?

WILTON: You see Neil, the Wocky Wildlife Cooperative is concerned about the social and environmental effects of technology on Neopians. You see, as Neopians continue to embrace technology and mass production, we at the WWC feel that it's making us increasingly more isolated and numb to what's going on around us. Instead of feeling the freedom to run free and play, Neopians are increasingly turning inward, preferring to wallow in the artificial luxury of their NeoHomes. And instead of saying, "Hey Chia Steel, I don't like you polluting the air that I breathe!" Neopians are just sitting back and doing nothing about it.

BLUMAROONO: Now, seeing that members of your WWC don't enjoy the comforts that average Neopians enjoy, could you explain to us what this primitive lifestyle of yours is like?

WILTON: Well Maria, not to be argumentative or anything, but I really do take exception to your saying that the way we live is primitive. In our opinion, our way of life is not primitive at all; on the contrary, we feel that it takes a lot of sophistication to be able to live outside of Neopia's mainstream, tech-friendly culture. We like to say that the way we live is simple, but not primitive.

BLUMAROONO: I stand corrected… well then, could you tell us about this "simpler" lifestyle which you enjoy?

WILTON: Why certainly. You see, we live in log cabins, which we built ourselves. We grow our own food, sew our own clothes, run our own schoolhouses…it's quite ideal.

KAUVUTO: And everybody gets along? There's no argument about what belongs to whom?

WILTON: Oh, of course not…Neopia is a land of great bounty. There's plenty to go around for everybody.

BLUMAROONO: Now, what are the aims of your organisation? Do you intend to protest these companies if they don't cut down on pollution, and are there any political protests in the works?

WILTON: Oh no, absolutely not. The WWC has no intentions of becoming a militant organisation, or of endorsing any stated political platform. We're basically just trying to say two things. First, to our fellow Neopians, we're saying, "Look at your lives…your crass materialism, your isolation, your worship of the almighty NP. Then, look at how we live, in freedom and harmony, as one big family. We want for nothing, and we're doing our part to keep Neopia free and clean from pollution. All things considered, don't you think our way makes more sense…for everyone?"

Second, to the corporations of Neopia, many of whom are represented on The Neo-Market Report each week, we'd like to say to you, "Look, we understand that the WWC isn't going to get you to shut your doors and move into the countryside. However, what we are asking you to remember is that we've all gotta breathe the same air, and drink the same water. So what we're asking for is that these companies take responsibility for the messes they've made, do their part in cleaning up, and take an active part in creating a pollution-free future."

KAUVUTO: Well, it looks as if that's all the time we have for this week. For Maria Blumaroono and Wilton the Woodlands Wocky, this is Neil Kauvuto saying thank you and so long.