Stand behind yer sheriff Circulation: 131,950,016 Issue: 271 | 22nd day of Celebrating, Y8
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You've Got Needs, We've Got Jobs


by xerashigreens

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FAERIELAND - Hello there, and welcome to the Employment Agency. We are an organization based in Faerieland that mutually helps us and you out. If you'd like to get to know about us better, why don't you visit? For now, I'll be your guide.

For now, I'll tell you about us. We are an agency that gives out jobs to Neopians who need Neopoints, want to work, and so on and so forth. Because many Neopians aren't that busy, we give out jobs that suit the Neopian. The best part about jobs are that you get paid, of course. Why, a job without pay is simply not a job! And with the job come two choices. Failure, or success. The average job-taker succeeds in completing the jobs, and rarely (but inevitably), people also fail them. What would cause failure? Our people who need the items you buy for us are sometimes in a great hurry. They prefer that you do the job swiftly and as quick as possible, while other appliers take their leisure and don't mind that much about time. There is always a specific amount of some sort of item you must get, a specific time limit, a specific reward, and specific bonuses you get by completing your job faster than the limit. If you do well on completing the jobs, and you stay loyal to our Agency by completing many more, you will promptly get promoted for excellent merit. Remember, though, that EVERY Neopian should get a job, and so you have a certain limit of jobs per day you can complete. Otherwise, getting a job at our Agency has basically no downside!

If you'll please follow me this way... In front of you are two doors, one hall, and one vast floor. Yes we are aware that the floor is shiny, and that the chandeliers are pretty, and also that our janitors are prestigious looking people, but let's stop staring.

These two doors lead to many jobs. The first one leads to the BASIC JOBS room all common Neopians go in and out of. This room is very important, because it's where you'll have to quickly get your job. Once you go in, you have to go to the one you want, and see if it's available still. Unavailability is not our fault around here... you see, a TON of Neopians come here to get jobs, because they pay well, so people with the fastest reflexes get jobs. Still, our jobs come out every 10 minutes, so don't worry if you don't apply fast enough. The second door leads to the SUPER JOBS room. Unless you have a job coupon, you cannot apply for any of the jobs here, as they are reserved for people with coupons only. These jobs give you MANY Neopoints, and they are usually easy to complete as well. You can get coupons by the Wheel of Knowledge, buying one, chancing upon one, and so on. You'll notice they are colored. Job coupons come in colors to show their superiority. They come in: Green, Blue, Red, Silver, Gold, Purple, Pink, Green Brightvale, Bronze Brightvale, Silver Brightvale, and Gold Brightvale coupons. Green being the lowest, and Gold Brightvale being the highest. Once you use up a coupon, though, it goes down by a color, so be careful what kind of job you apply for. If you don't have one, just apply for the Basic Jobs.

Down the hall, you will notice many clerks you can talk to. These clerks post your Neopets job status on a gigantic board that's surprisingly easy for you to spot. It will tell you how many jobs you've completed for each Neopet, your pets resume, and a link to see your job progress. To complete any job you've successfully applied and gotten, you need to come to the STATUS page, go down to your active pets area, and click the link under CURRENT JOB. If you ever mess up and forget how many of what you need, you can go to the status page to find the corresponding link, and check to see what you should get, and how many you get.

Turning to the vast floor, you can see a long, long, long list of people who have the highest rank, and completed the most jobs. The title of this list is called RANKINGS. It's quite a large number of jobs on top of there, so you might want to apply for jobs every day you're on Neopets! This list shows only our top 100 employees, though, so unless you have a pretty high number of jobs, you won't be featured on our list until you have more than at least the 100th person. Also, at the very front of the vast floor are two large doors. You see Neopians rushing out of them, and rushing by as well. This is where you enter, and leave. This is the only door here leading back to Faerieland (that's why they need to be so huge).

Well, most experienced employees know what I have written is plain hocus pocus! In real life, we have no doors, no vast floor, no chandeliers, no prestigious janitors (though I wish we did), no halls, and no clerks. The only thing I can ensure you we have are employees who work hard to earn Neopoints! Although that was a fake bunch of words, it does seem to be a great visualization, doesn't it? Quite simply, I did put true things in here, it's just vivid imagination gets in the way sometimes... Our links DO include a WELCOME, STATUS, BASIC JOBS, SUPER JOBS, RANKINGS, and a LEAVE. Don't slap me because you didn't get to see some fascinating chandeliers either, and I apologize for being so broad-minded! We do have a #1 Employee, and we do offer amazingly paid jobs that you might want to apply for. We're a clean and simple Agency with white everywhere but on our coupons! Still the same, we offer jobs you love to complete, am I right? So, may I continue my ramblings?

Now, I hope you had a good day coming here, and we hope to see you soon! The Agency is very busy, and I have taken my time to tell you about us. If you have any problems, go exploring to Faerieland, go inside the city, and you should see us! If you also need help with our Agency in whole, we have information everywhere on our WELCOME page, and you could always ask a cooperative Neopian. We're a friendly community, remember? So all said and done... I have to get back to work now, even I work at the Agency, I mean... who doesn't?

 
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