Confessions of a Kacheek Battler

     But…I'm not a regular Kacheek. I'm not the kind who would stop and smell the flowers: I'd sometimes pick some and take them to my owner or to my siblings, or other times, I accidentally stomp on them on my way to a battle, with my trusty sword on my back, a Large Metal Shield and two Mud Mixture potions tucked…

     Now, I bet you're wondering, why is a Kacheek like me doing, headed for a battle, when I'm supposed to be avoiding such a matter? Why am I actually attracted to something I was taught how to hate? And why am I the family's main battle pet, often exposed to big fights and wars, and often having to bring a sword down on an enemy?

     See, I was once an ordinary pet. I used to smell the flowers, skip through meadows and fields and even take a liking to dancing. I brought home flowers, wore a big, happy smile, and impressed my friends and family with my good disposition. Yes, I was a wonder-an optimistic, cheerful wonder.

     I was what you read in the paragraph above this, until IT happened, and changed the entire life course of this particular Kacheek. It happened so long ago that I wasn't even painted striped back then, and my sister Fluffy wasn't even white yet.

     One day, I was sitting outside in the sun, with my little sister Fluffy, a green (yes, she wasn't painted, like I've stated before) Aisha. At that time, Glitter the faerie Acara wasn't created yet, and Angel the blue Zafara hadn't been adopted (or abandoned, for that matter). Our owner, a tall teenage girl we call Kat, was not too far away. She was busy trying her hand at Poogle Solitaire (Yes, it also existed back then…but now it's gone, for some reason I can't quite place.).

     Actually, we weren't quite sitting. We were playing a mean game of two-pet tag (the name says it all), which was a game Fluffy made up for us to play. We didn't have many friends then, so it was a good way to spend some extra time.

     "Come on, Sweet! Catch me if you can!" the green Aisha squealed as she ran across the grass of our Neohome gardens. "I thought you were my big brother!"

     "Look out! I'm coming to get you! Watch out!!" I laughed, sprinting after her. The chase took us out of the garden and into Rainbow Lane, the street where we lived. Some Neopets were giggling as they saw us streak past; others were shaking their heads muttering something about "immature babies".

     We continued running about until we realized that someone else was in our game. I saw three shadows along the grassy areas instead of two. The third shadow was short and stubby, and looked as if it had a mop of hair on its head. Its feet were big and floppy, like Kat's description of clown shoes.

     CLOWN??

     Uh-oh. That meant trouble. I stopped, got Fluffy to stop, and we found ourselves standing before a Chia. It was no ordinary Chia, but one dressed in a weird clown costume and equipped with weirder whatnots all over its body. We stared at each other in silence, and then he broke it faster than you could say, "Funny".

     "Hello, kids!" it crowed suddenly. "Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi!"

     It was our first encounter with the naughty but corny Chia Clown. We both stood our ground-and Fluffy made the big mistake of her life by introducing herself and acting all carefree around such a creature.

     "Hello, Mr. Clown! My name is Fluffy14784, but everyone calls me Fluffy!" replied my sibling. She danced around the clown, a big, silly grin on her face. The Chia turned to me after returning Fluffy's smile, as if expecting me to give him a greeting. Instead, I just waved sheepishly and cautiously. Something about him just wasn't right…but what?

     I was going to find out soon enough, when the clown presented a pretty flower to the Aisha. She smelled it, sighed…and got a big squirt of water in the face. Dripping wet, she faced the Chia, and she wasn't very happy.

     "Hey! You didn't tell me I was going to be sprayed! That wasn't very nice!" she retorted.

     "I'm sorry, my dear," said the Chia Clown. "Here-have some drinks! You're thirsty, aren't you?"

     Fluffy took the bottle of seltzer water from the clown, and got squirted a second time. Her eyes were flaming red now, and she let loose with her secret weapon.

     "Kat!!!" she called loudly. Obviously our owner heard her, since she jumped up suddenly from her table and raced towards us. She scooped up Fluffy in her arms and asked, "What's wrong?"

     I answered, "That clown just played a couple of bad pranks on her!" I even pointed to our corny culprit.

     Kat set Fluffy down beside her and marched to the Chia Clown. She knelt down and asked as politely as she could, "Look, do you mind? She doesn't like your tricks, and I know it's OK to play pranks on others, but you should go too…AAAAAHHHH!!!"

     The clown, in the midst of our owner's lecture, unleashed an Ultra Rainbow Flash. I was able to shield my eyes in time, but the particularly bright flash of multi-colored light knocked out both the Aisha and Kat. Both of them were lying on the ground, unconscious.

     It was up to me. I faced the clown and looked at him straight in the eye. "You can't do that to my family, you red-nosed jerk!" I yelled. He wasn't convinced, obviously.

     "And what will a flower-smelling, peace-loving goody-goody pet like you do about it?" the Chia taunted. He aimed his squirting flower at me, but I dodged the spray easily. The clown squirted a second time, and I deflected the water attack back at him with my shield.

     He released the rainbow flash again-only to find that I had dropped to the ground and shielded my eyes in time.

     The Chia clown pulled out a Feather Tickler. I laughed at it. "You call that a weapon?" I fell onto my back laughing at the weapon until I found out what power it held. He began tickling me with it…the experience was pure torture! It took a while before I could get up again.

     He was laughing hysterically at me. Quickly I fumbled around for my trusty sword, and brought it down on him. "No one, and I mean no one, ever gets away with playing not-nice pranks on my family!" I yelled at him.

     Sure enough, he was shuddering, curled up like a clown ball and whimpering. "All right," he mumbled. "All right, I won't touch your family again!" He ran off, looking over his shoulder to see if I was following him. I stood there, proud of what I did, and then I went over and revived Kat and Fluffy.

     "Are you all right?" I asked them both. First I shook Fluffy awake, who mumbled and slowly sat up. Next I tried to lift Kat up by her head, since she was bigger and heavier than I was. She scratched her head and whispered faintly, "Hey, Sweet. What's going on?"

     "Both of you guys were knocked out by that Chia clown," I answered. "He unleashed this really flashy weapon that blinded you so much that you both fell to the ground. Then I took out my sword and fought him! I won, Kat, Fluffy, I won the battle!" I hugged my sister and my owner tightly.

     Kat smiled down at me. "You must have been born to fight," she remarked proudly. "I don't think you're a regular Kacheek at all. I think you're quite special, in the sense that you have been granted the gift of strength…"

     "And you saved us from that silly clown who tried to obliterate us!" said Fluffy brightly. "I can't believe I'm the little sister of a great fighter! You're so wonderful, and I think this could be the beginning of a wonderful career as a professional battler!"

     I blushed under my fur. "Thanks, both of you," I said. A grin escaped from my mouth and grew wider as I hugged them again. I never felt prouder or braver in my entire life. The feeling bubbled up inside me and made me smile as widely as possible.

     ***

     That's my story, folks. I set aside my peace-loving personality to defend my family. That's the main reason I go off to battle-to ensure safety and peace, not just for my siblings and owner, but also for Neopia. It was the same reason why I fought for Meridell, kicking Giant Spyder butt and making those Skeith Soldiers run home crying like poor, defenseless babies. Now at least, you won't think that I'm a freak in the world of Kacheeks.

     Besides, the last one that called me a freak ended up with a black eye and a sore leg.

The End