Wussy Pirates?!

      "It's probably nothing, Captain," assured his faithful Pawkeet, Starlight. "Adam's idea of a joke, no doubt."

      "JOKE? WUSSY PIRATES? ARGH!" Captain Scarblade was not one to be easily mollified.

      "Captain, please, calm down--"

      "Calm down? Calm down?" Captain Scarblade roared. "Don't tell me to calm down! Don't you realize what's going on?!"

      "It's just a simple editorial," Starlight said desperately. "Come on, it means nothing!"

      Suddenly Scarblade stopped his crazy rant and smiled a sinister grin. Starlight knew what that could only mean one thing: the Captain had a plan.

      "I have a plan!" the Captain declared. "We'll wage war!"

      "On who? TNT?"

      "On anyone, you fool! The first ship that I lay me eyes on!"

     * * *

     [Meanwhile, in a much happier part of Neopia…]

     * * *

      Two baby Acaras, Twinkles and Fluffy, were taking their sailboat out for its first ride. The sailboat was painted a soft rose-petal pink, with pastel ribbons streaming down the mast.

      "This is going to be great!" Twinkles said excitedly, grinning from ear to ear.

      "Yeah," agreed Fluffy. "Maybe we can even sail to Faerieland and pay a visit to Fyora!"

      And so the two set off, with the boat's lacy sail flapping gently in the wind. The two Acaras laughed and talked and played while enjoying the beautiful scenery surrounding them. But after an hour or so of smooth sailing…

      "Look!" shouted Twinkles suddenly, nudging Fluffy. "A pirate ship!"

      Sure enough, Captain Scarblade's ship was looming on the horizon. True to his word, he was waging war on the first ship--or sailboat, apparently--that he laid his eyes on.

      "But Captain," Starlight murmured in protest, realizing what vessel Scarblade planned to go after. "A sailboat? And pastel, no less. It's nothing but a mere child's toy."

      "And a mere child's toy we shall vanquish, my fine feathered friend!" roared Captain Scarblade dramatically, waving his sword in the air for an added effect. "HA! WUSSY PIRATES, INDEED!"

     * * *

     [Oh, TNT. What trouble you've caused!]

     * * *

      And so The Revenge pulled alongside the little pastel sailboat. Captain Scarblade menacingly brandished his sword.

      "Prepare to meet your doom, you pesky infants!" he roared. "Victory will be mine!"

      However, the baby Acaras were far from intimidated. Much to Captain Scarblade's surprise, they swiftly sprung into action.

      "Twinkles!" cried Fluffy. "The Yoyo of Death!"

      Fluffy quickly grabbed the weapon from its hiding place on the sailboat's lavender floor. "Take that, you pirate fiend!" she howled, whacking Captain Scarblade in the face.

      The Captain bellowed in pain. "What?" he snarled, barely believing his eyes. "The baby Acara girls are armed?" He turned to Starlight. "You worthless bird, don't just stand there! Summon the--"

      But Starlight never found out who or what he was supposed to summon, because the Yoyo of Death smacked his owner once again.

      Then Scarblade yelled a word he had never, ever uttered before: "Retreat!" So he and Starlight turned and fled.

      Once The Revenge was a safe distance away, Scarblade collapsed on his knees. "I can't believe we lost to a couple of weak, puny, baby Acaras in a pastel toy sailboat," he sobbed. "Me, a renowned pirate captain feared all across Neopia! My reputation will be ruined!"

      "They had a Yoyo of Death," Starlight said comfortingly, shaking his head and patting Captain Scarblade on the shoulder with his wing. "Really, who could blame you?"

     * * *

      Meanwhile, Twinkles and Fluffy had gone back to sailing leisurely and enjoying the beauty around them. The fearful Yoyo of Death was nowhere to be seen.

      "That pirate sure didn't give us too much of a fight," Fluffy commented, running a golden brush through her fur.

      Twinkles shook her head pityingly as she applied some green glitter eye shadow. "Wussy pirates."

The End

     * * *

AUTHOR'S NOTE: This story is not aimed to insult wussy pirates. [pause] Well, actually, I guess it is. If you or your Neopets are insulted and / or offended in any way, please contact your local therapist or join Captain Scarblade's pirate army. Unless you're a baby Acara, of course. He's utterly terrified of them now.