Which Turdle Are You?

Due to this predicament, the fine minds at Gaseous Moonpie Incorporated (read: me and my posse of Babaa) have spent years studying all aspects of Neopia and have devised a quiz which will help you find yourself again. GMI have come to the conclusion that the best way to rediscover yourself is by comparing yourself to the fine creatures at Meridell’s ‘Turdle Racing’. In short, we ask propose the question: Which Turdle Are You?

What will be revealed from taking this quiz is insight into your innermost psyche, your fears, your hopes, your dreams. Take it at your own risk.

(Please note: This quiz will not really give insight into your innermost psyche, or even your outer most psyche, nor will it reveal your fears, hopes or dreams. There’s also not much risk involved. None, actually. It’s just a bit of silly entertainment.)

Read each question and take note of the letter which corresponds to your answer.

Eg. Question 1 = Answer A. Question 2 = Answer B, etc.

So, let’s say you're new to Neopia (Hey, a little roleplay never hurt anyone right? Unless someone’s power-playing but that’s a whole different article altogether). Take in the wondrous sights and sounds of Neopia Central and the hustle and bustle of your fellow Neopians. But one really needs a companion to fully enjoy their adventures and an ickle Neopet to call your very own is the perfect choice. And the most obvious.

1. Which lucky pet would you choose from the following?

A) Shoyru, Kacheek, Kougra - any of the pets in the top ten species popularity thingy.

B) Buzz, Hissi or a Krawk type of pet. They look like they mean business and get what they want, and so do I.

C) A Lupe or a Peophin maybe. They seem like independent and loyal creatures.

D) Ixi or Kacheek because they like frolicking in meadows like me. Ooh! Or a Scorchio, we could glide through the skies together...

E) Grarrl or Skeith ‘cos they eat anything! I’ma feed him pizza and slushies and broken toys...

Your darling’s first words? “I’m hungry!” Eh. Okay. Checking your Neopoints, you figure you’ll have enough to grab some lunch and even dessert.

2. What yummy foods do you choose to whet your appetite?

A) I just check my pet into the Neolodge; it’s the done thing, I’m told. (As is the Cockroach Towers, but shhh, we keep that bit to ourselves.)

B) Whatever I can con out of the shopkeepers. All these rules about paying, supply and demand – bah, humbug.

C) Just an Earl Grey in the Coffee Shoppe for me, thanks. In that corner over there. My pet can gorge on as many Tigersquash Iced Buns as they want though.

D) Food that’s beautiful. Like the ‘Shoyru Ice Cream Sculpture’. Food that’s art.

E) ...and I’ma feed him plushies and cookies...

It’s a beautiful day and you and your pet, aptly named Turdle (RW pet, score!), are both strolling along chatting when you come across the games room. “Gamesgamesgames!” Turdle yells, streaking past you into the arcade. Well, you could use the funds.

3. What's your NP making game-o-choice?

A) The featured game. I figure it’ll be the popular choice. The Beauty Contest should give out NP. *preens*

B) Cheat for quick NP. I’m good at it, what can I say?

C) Castle of Eliv Thade. Being locked away in a castle for a couple of hours all alone? Bliss. You just have to avoid, y'know, death and junk.

D) Not so much a game, but I'd enter a few poems into the Poetry Contest or a picture or two in the Art Gallery. O Muse, sing in me!

E) Pick Your Own. Nu-uh, the dung is mine. MINE! Wait, this doesn’t make NP? No, I said it’s my dung!

Several games and bags of Neopoints later, Turdle’s yawns and constant stumbles convince you it’s time for a nap. She’s only a young pet after all. Hard to nap, though, without a bed. Or a bedroom. Or a house. You head over to Neohome Central.

4. Out of all the places on offer, where do you think would be the best place to create a Neohome?

A) Neopia Central. It’s closest to all the latest comings and goings, tidbits and gossip.

B) Krawk Island. Treasure, grog, scallywags, lawlessness. Need I say more?

C) Lutari Island. An uncharted island seems the perfect place to settle down.

D) Oh my, so many places scream inspiration – the lush jungles of Mystery Island, the eerie and atmospheric Haunted Woods...

E) I wanna chocolate castle with candy cane window frames!

The next morning as you’re sitting at the breakfast table your darling wanders in and announces what a great owner you are. Fantastic. Amazingly fantastic. And had you lost weight? You may be new to this owner thing, but you know something's up. You’re right, of course. Turdle asks for a petpet, one that will keep her company when “You're off dealing with boring human business.” How could you not give in to such an eloquent argument?

5. Out of the several petpets Turdle picks out which do you let her keep?

A) Gallion. Or Ukali. According to the shopkeeper they're in right now. Perhaps a Babaa?

B) Drackonack. They just look so darn dastardly, it’s a wonderful sight to behold. We don’t pay for it, though; we just swipe it and run! Not the most organised heist, but it worked.

C) Whichever petpet Turdle bonds with. It’s bound to be the beginning of a loyal companionship.

D) Cirrus. That way Turdle and I can watch as it floats and morphs into different shapes.

E) A Turdle so Turdle can have a petpet called Turdle! Ahahaha! *spaz*

The three of you exit the shop, Turdle and her new friend prancing about happily. But suddenly, "Something Has Happened!" It's the Fountain Faerie! You've heard of her; she can paint your pet whatever colour your heart desires. Good things do happen to new accounts!

6. Which colour do you and Turdle finally decide on?

A) Whaddaya mean she doesn’t do Royal? Doesn’t she know who I think I am!

B) Plushie. Nobody ever suspects the cute little Plushie. *halo*

C) Shadow or Camouflage. Something sleek that blends in.

D) Rainbow. All the colours together are a dazzling array.

E) Yellow!

As the newly painted Turdle struts around, her petpet happily strutting behind her, you all stumble across something new. Neoboards? Interesting. Soon you’re “lol”ing like a pro and realise all those pictures you’d stumbled across during your travels were avatars. Doi!

7. Big decision now, which avatar do you decide to use?

A) Something I can use to show off. Or a default or clicky – that shows that I’m so cool, I don’t even care about being cool! I’m so awesome.

B) 'Zafara - Double Agent.' – cos I’m sneaky like that.

C) 'A Day at the Beach.' It looks isolated, beautiful too.

D) Unless I get the Neopian Times Writer avatar, there’s no point using one. Oh, woe is me!

E) 'Hello, little Lupe... BOOOM!' Boom! Explode! Debris!

Gosh, is that the time? It sure can fly on these boards, and it’s time for your trio to get home. Turning the corner, you accidently bump into somebody. Apologising, you turn to face them and OMG! it's your Neopian idol. Before you can stutter out how awesome you think they are, they've disappeared into the crowd. Curses.

8. Who was that masked man?

A) The Tonu from the Style Showdown. Ohmigosh, he’s so hot right now!

B) The Aisha from The Cork Gun Gallery in the Deserted Fairgrounds. “It’s not fixed, I swear.” Hah. I can admire a fellow con-artist when they do a good enough job.

C) I’m not the type to have idols. I suppose I admire the Snowager, though. People keep pestering him, but he ROARS them away.

D) Rorru the Kougra / who gives out Haikus daily / on Mystery Isle.

E) The red Poogle that hops around saying, “Hi!” I wanna do that, HI! *hops around* HI!

9. So you’ve spent a few fun filled days in Neopia, exploring new places and meeting new people. If you could have one goal or Neopian wish you could achieve in your time here, what would it be?

A) Friends, power, and an amazing account. Not necessarily in that order, hun.

B) THE DOMINATION OF NEOPIA. Er, I mean... having an Usuki gallery and rescuing abandoned petpets?

C) My hope is that I always have Turdle as a pet and if I do end up with associates (you probably call them friends, I s’pose) that they’ll be as loyal and dependable as her.

D) I wish never to be struck by the plague that is Writer’s block or Painter’s block and that my pets and I can live happy lives together, meeting lots of beautiful people!

E) I wish for a million more wishes, mwahahaha ahaha ha... lalala la. HI! *hops around*

RESULTS:

Mostly A. You’re Stinky!

Stinky’s the fastest Turdle this side of Tyrannia and the odds on favourite to win any race. You’re the favourite, just like Stinky. In short, you’re popular! Or wish you were, think you are, desperately aspire to be, etc., etc. You act confident and sure of yourself and you like to be in the thick of things: spreading the latest gossip, making endless “paging other popular person!” boards, keeping up with the latest fads and starting trends – pretty much making yourself and your presence known. But neo-fame isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. It can come with drama, haters, the dreaded gold diggers, and people can come up with the wrong impression of you based off of gossip and innuendo. The best ways to combat all of this would be to figure out who your real friends are and treasure them and treat others how you’d like to be treated. Nice not in your vocab? Well, I guess ‘infamous’ is just a syllable off from ‘famous’. But remember: karma. And no not the petpet, that’s with a ‘C’ (I checked).

Mostly B. You’re Poopy!

You’re Poopy: sly, cunning, EVIL. Okay not necessarily evil. The Poopies of this world range from sheer unadulterated badness to mere mischievous impishness. Poopies take pleasure in playing pranks on unsuspecting victims. It seems there’s nothing quite like a cry of fright to put a smile on their faces. You have a dislike of authority figures and tend to disregard rules as being insignificant, unimportant and pffft lame. Your needs come first and if you happen to break a few rules along the way, so be it. They’re made to be broken, right? You’re a bit of a con-artist and not above lying, bribery or blackmail to get what you want. Your friends probably have very similar personalities to you or common goals or interests, and you all coexist with the understanding that there can never fully (if at all) be an element of trust in your relationships. Most likely you’re highly intelligent but disorganised – otherwise, surely you’d have taken over Neopia by now? You ooze charm, but so do some of the best villains in Neopia. Which I bet you’ll probably take as a compliment.

Mostly C. You’re Smelly!

Smelly’s stench tends to keep people away from him and like Smelly you use a stench to keep people away - but, like, a metaphorical stench (I’m sure you actually smell quite lovely). You generally prefer to keep to yourself, either because you’re very shy or just not a big people person. Maybe both. People can confuse your shyness with snobbery and write you off. Or because you cut a lone figure, label you with the ‘weirdo’ tag. But you don’t really care what a bunch of strangers think. Why would you? You’re a very independent thinker. You’re also extremely self reliant. It takes a special kind of person to get you to let your guard down, and the people who take the time to befriend you are extremely lucky people indeed. When you do let people in, you’re a fiercely loyal friend and will defend them to the ends of Neopia. Being this loyal, though, you do expect a similar allegiance from them. If they happen to let you down bad enough, hurt you bad enough, you put your walls back up and even higher than before. It takes a lot for somebody to regain your trust.

Mostly D. You’re Squelchy!

Squelchy sometimes just stops in the middle of a race but contrary to popular belief he isn’t stuck, he’s been struck by artistic epiphany. Like Squelchy, you’re an artiste. Whether your talent is painting, writing, singing, comedy, dance or the ancient art of mime: you’re the creative type. Most likely you’re a complete dreamer, imaginative and easily distracted. Being so creative and having such an imagination, it’s likely you have a flair for the dramatic (“My kingdom for a Draik Egg!”). Some will find this amusing whilst others just annoying. If you don’t have several entries in the Poetry Gallery or the Art Gallery, you probably have several amazing half finished pieces lying around – like I said, you’re probably easily distracted. Being a lover of all things beautiful, it would make sense for you to be the type of person who looked for the beauty in people. This can be a positive with the possibility of making a lot of friends and acquaintances from various walks of life. But by trying to see the best in people, their bad qualities can sometimes be overlooked and you could be taken advantage of. Keep your open heart and open mind, but also open eyes.

Mostly E. You’re Nutty!

Some people may call you unique, eccentric, one of a kind, or “... interesting” but let’s face it, these are just euphemisms: you’re a total nutter! This Turdle’s name says it all, really. Nutty expends a lot of energy in races and just like Nutty you’re ridiculously energetic. You race through life, excited by everything and drinking it all in. You probably talk a mile a minute, confusing those not used to your animated manner. You wear your emotions for all to see, probably because they change too quickly to bother hiding them. Little things excite and amuse you, like potatoes that look like Sloth or a collection of Escaped Pixels which if you had enough of and put them together they might form something! Some may think you’re kind of random, especially the things you say, but they just don’t understand your thought process. If somebody mentions their pet Meepit, your mind could leap to “Meepit Juice Break”, then to Orange Juice, then the Bonju avatar and then you suddenly remember it’s only available in August and that you forgot to get it and burst into tears, screaming “BONJU NOOOO!” stunning those around you into silence. You’re a fun, lovely but ultimately exhausting person to be around.

So that brings us to the conclusion of ‘Which Turdle Are You.’ We at Gaseous Moonpie Inc. hope you’ve managed to find yourself again. They say it’s always in the last place you look, right?

If you didn’t get any kind of Turdle, congratulations! You’re not one! You can live in the happy knowledge that you’re more than likely a Pink Slorg.