teh 1337est n00zpaper Circulation: 171,606,722 Issue: 178 | 18th day of Awakening, Y7
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Guide to Naming


by impl0de

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I'd like to start my article with a warm, welcoming introduction. It's just too bad that I'm not a warm welcoming person, and that this article will criticize many usernames and pet names (especially ones involving the name “Fluffy” *shudders*).

All right, first off, account names. This will be long and tedious.

Everyone has an account, and probably 50% of you reading this have more than one. Even more than 50% probably have accounts with ridiculous names. If your account has more than 3 numbers that are not 1337 numbers, you probably have a problem. Let’s take the username “user124345”. Can you spot what’s wrong with it? Yes, the numbers are a big problem, and so is the word “user”. When creating an account, whether it’s a spare or gallery account, make it original! (Or at least semi-original). Pick a word or phrase you like, or something that describes you. Let’s say you’re spontaneous and funky, maybe you should go with one of those? Sure, but to make it more original, add your nickname. Mine is “Watta”. I could use funkywatta. But if that were taken, you can change “y” to an “i” or an “ie” (or sometimes “ii” or “ei”, for those extra funky people.) So, I could go with funkiiwatta, funkiwatta, funkiewatta, or maybe funkeiwatta. But, if your nickname is as weird as mine, people might not be able to decipher what your username is! So add an underscore or two, or three. There are many ways to add underscores. There’s the classic “funkei_watta”, the stylish “funkei__watta”, or even the cool, “funkei_watta_”. You can add underscores wherever you want, but not in the middle of numbers or words (I made that mistake with the account “pooh_bear34_43”).

On to fixing the numbers. Let’s go back to the idea “funkeiwatta”, but since I’m uber awesome I’ll make it “funkkeiwatta”, and add underscores to help you better understand the art of underscores. I’ll go with funkkei_watta_. Now, if the username is taken (which it’s not, no one else uses MY nickname and gets away with it!!), I might want to add some 1337, because numbers at the end (such as making it funkei_watta_3776) are so un-stylish. I could go with funk3i_w4tt4, if I wanted.

But before we move on, I’ll show you a little bit about 1337. An e can be changed to 3, an a into a 4, or a l or i into a 1. There are many more ways and numbers and letters, but you should stick with the basics.

When making a username, try to not use something old and overused, such as “kitty” or your country/state/province/city and gender (like USAgirl7776352 or caliboi8887413, and never use the word “boi”).

Try not to use your city unless you are comfortable with people knowing it, but don’t anyway because if you move you’ll have to delete that account. (To delete an account go to neopets.com/remacct.phtml).

Let’s just move on to pet names now, okay? Okay.

Let's pretend I just made that spare account, funk3i_w4tt4, and now I want some pets. First pick a species appropriate with the name you want (like, if you want a Grarrl, please don’t name it, or anything else, fluffy; if you want an Aisha, try not to use anything associating with water, it’s a feline; if you want a non-flying breed, don’t go with “soar” or “fly” or “wings”). I’ll go with an Aisha, my favorite breed.

Now this is a bit off topic, but make up a personality, and think of a color before you name it. (After all, you don’t want a sweet, loving Faerie Aisha to be named “scarydarkness81481740”.)

Let’s say I want a mysterious but sweet and hospitable Maraquan Aisha, who is good with herbal healing and can walk on land. The first name that might come to mind is “mystery”. Let’s go with that.

Most people nowadays create new names that sound exotic, that’s always nice, but they are often thought of from real words. Now that we’ve selected mystery, let’s change it a bit. Note: when creating a pet name, please do not use ANY numbers, not even 1337, because it can be distracting from the true beauty of the name.

You can add a silent “h” or two, creating a nice, airy feel to it. Like, “Mhysterhy”, “Mysteryh,” or “Mystehry”. Let’s go with Mysteryh. Remember the changing the “y” rule? Let’s try that here, shall we? ZAP! Mysteryh is changed to Mysteraih! Try not to use the same scheme in pet names as in usernames (like if I was “funkei” than I should not go with “mystereih”). You can also double consonants, like “myysteraih” or “mysterraih”.

It’s often best just to create a new name off the top of your head; it’s more original and there will be fewer pets with similar names. Don’t take any suggestions from my pets, I adopted all except for Cepti, and a friend’s pet inspired that one.

Take a sound you like, maybe a rolling “r” or a severe-sounding “k”. Sometimes you can substitute a “k” with a “q”, or a “qh” (such as one of my pets on a spare account, qheiru). So, since q is my favorite letter, we’ll just use that. ;).

It may take you seconds, minutes, hours, or days to find the perfect name. Sometimes it’s best to pick a word and translate it into another language, then rearrange that word.

It’s easy to pick two to four sounds that you like and add them together, so maybe “kah” “ru” “lo”? Kahrulo would make a nice name, but if it’s already taken, just change some of the letters. Try switching the first letter in every syllable. Like, Qahrulo. That doesn’t look as nice, so let’s stick with the K. Now let’s change middle or end letters. How about Karuelou, Kahrulou, or Kaarulou. Yes, that looks better. I like Kahrulou.

Then think, does this fit the pet's personality?

Some of the ways to tell are this:

Kind faeries should not start with “x” or “z”.

Names starting with “u” usually don’t work with Baby pets.

Names for Darigan pets should probably not be started with a soft sound.

But what is the number one rule for any account or pet? Using “eh” at the end is tacky!!

There are so many username trends that go out of style, like having “xx” “xo” or “xcore” at the front or back. These things are often very cheesy and go out of style very fast, but even if the trend lasts, don’t go with it. It’s better to be individual, and trends fade away sometime or another.

Author’s Note: Please don't smack me with waffles if you feel I insulted your pets or username. Thanks. -- Watta

 
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