10 Editorial Tips

a guide by a two-time and counting editorial writer

Here are 10 helpful tips for how to get into the editorial:

1. You don't have to throw something. Contrary to popular belief, TNT does not need to be rendered unconscious by flying cookies to answer your question. Throwing cookies, cake, soap, or any other random goodies will NOT increase your chances of being published.

As stated in a past editorial:

"Hello! *tosses spaghetti* Just curious: how do you guys feel about being pelted with various delicacies, items, and organisms? ~coco6468

We feel like we should bathe more often. We would also like to assure you guys that you really, really, really don't need to throw something, or emote in any kind of way, to get into the Editorial. Like, really-really. Really."

However, there are 220 published questions that refer to cookies... Therefore, if you must fling something, fling something interesting. Flinging cookies is traditional. Flinging a plate of crumbs with a meepit hiding underneath is INTERESTING.

2. Be relevant. If you don't have a question, then maybe the editorial isn't the place for you. You could always try writing a story, or drawing a comic if you need a place to fling INTERESTING things at random TNT members. If you do have a question, ask them one at a time. One of my questions had two questions, and only one of them was answered, making the other one appear irrelevant.

3. Refer to the editorial the week before. For example, in my second published editorial, I said *claps for Sweets*. This was a reference to the week before's editorial where it was stated that

"It seems Sweets holds the trophy for longest-tenured Neostaff member still working with us. She's been a member of the team since day one in California. Give her a hand!

No really, start clapping.
You don't want to see her angry.
Trust us."

Therefore, when I said *claps for Sweets* TNT knew that I had read the editorials the week before, and were slightly more inclined to answer my question.

4. Be prompt. If you have a question related to a site event, make sure to send a ticket in addition to your editorial submission. Submit the editorial early enough in the site event so that your question can be answered before the event is over. Also, don't ask a question that has been answered elsewhere; TNT HATES restating themselves.

5. Be witty. It has long been a known fact that TNT LOVES to use puns and wordplay to amuse the Neopian population. If you use a pun, they might publish it just for your pun. (DISCLAIMER: I have no proof of this --at least... no proof not confiscated by Lawyerbot-- but it can't hurt to try, right?)

6) Write in binary.... every once in a while, a random string of 0s and 1s is published, and Lawyerbot answers with his -coughcough- almighty wisdom -coughcough- his... Hmmm I have the sudden urge to not type those next three words. How strange

... now then, where was I....

ah, yes #7.

7) Don't ask Brain Tree questions. I mean really... asking "Where and When did Bruce Lenny die" gets REALLY REPETITIVE particularly because not even TNT knows; however, it is rumoured that a certain pile of slime/mud/who knows what else might know; however, said pile is almost always hungry.

8) If you must ask a popular question... be unique. "Step 5: Realize that you still don't have an avatar and write in to the Editorial begging for more hints." This is one example of how TNT responds to one of many countless editorial submissions.

"*Screams at top of my lungs* WHHHHYYYYYYYY WHYYY DO YOU HAVE TO MAKE US SUFFER LIKE YOU DO!!!!!!!!!!!!!????????? *cries* Why did you have to make a new avatar with no explanation on how to get it? D:@@@@@@@ Can't you just like give us one lil tiny hint? PRETTY PLEASE WITH SUGAR ON TOP?!@@@ IF YOU DONT I WILL BE FORCED TO CALL IN THE MEEPITS!!!!!!!!!! im serious.. me and the meepits go WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYY back.. *meep* remove username please? and ps seriously hint or attack of the meepits O^O *pants heavily* ~username removed"

Above is another editorial submission that was published, and it also was... unique...

9. Mind your Ps and Qs. Honestly, be polite and say please and thank you. More than 1200 published editorial questions say either "thanks" or "thank you." 1381 published editorial questions say "please." Out of the ~7200 questions I searched, this means that about one sixth of the letters say thanks, and almost one fifth say please. If you say please and thank you, your chances of being answered in a direct, polite fashion should increase as fast as the happiness of the TNT member answering your question. A please and a thank you is much more effective than a thrown cookie.

10. Even if you don't get a response, don't be discouraged. If your issue is simple (i.e. the lack of a shopkeeper for your favorite colour/species) TNT could just make a note, and not bother publishing your editorial. However, this does not mean that you should not submit these problems. If you are an ego-maniac like myself who submits editorials --and now articles-- solely for the joy of seeing your own name in print, brace yourself for the inevitable moment when your question gets answered, and someone else's name is behind the squiggly line. ~

So to recap:

1. Don't throw things – it is hard to answer questions with a concussion.

2. Be relevant -- don't ask already answered questions.

3. Refer to the editorial the week before -- TNT likes it when you read their witty responses.

4. Be prompt -- don't ask about a site event that ended a month ago.

5. Be witty yourself -- TNT likes puns.

6. Write in binary – about once per month TNT answers a binary question, if you do choose this hint, say “01101000 01100101 01101100 01101100 01101111 00001101 00001010” to Lawyerbot for me.

7. Don't ask Brain Tree questions -- they won't be answered.

8. If you need to ask a common question -- I.E. a wishing well avatar hint -- be UNIQUE.

9. Be polite -- a please and a thank you go a LONG way.

10. Realize that not every question is answered -- and brace yourself for the time when someone else answers your question.