It's Saturday, and raining outside. Homework finished, you're lounging in your desk chair, staring at your user lookup. Unpainted, non-rare pets, no HTML, barely any secret avatars, and no trophies. "How do I make it better?" you say aloud, not caring if anyone hears you. Well, here it is, a guide to finding out what you want to do with your account!

You can be stuck on whether or not to you should buy the secret laboratory maps, or just buy the paint brush! So, I wrote an article that explains the pros and the cons of buying either item(s). You should read this before you go out and buy your paint brush or your secret laboratory maps, because this may or may not change your mind...

Now listen carefully, my friend, for what I have to say may save you and your owner from destruction. Let’s start with the basics: What are guilds? Well, they claim to be a place where people of similar interests gather to chat and make friends. Right? WRONG. If this is your idea of what a guild is, then you have fallen under the deception that has ensnared countless thousands of innocent owners and their pets...