Battledome Weapon Gag Gifts for Every Friend: Part 2

     They may bat away your concerns as a damper to the holiday cheer. At the very least though, you could equip them with a light-hearted Battledome gift this season. Jokes on them if they end up frantically needing their not-so-useless weapon after all, right?

     In the last edition of the Times, we shared part one of our Battledome weapon gift guide. Here, we wrap up the rest of our recommendations with part two: 15 more Battledome gag gift ideas for every type of Neofriend!

     1. Scary Spider - for the friend who loves a good prank

     “AHHHH! IT’S A SPIDER!” – your friend absolutely lives for this reaction as they toss it at an unassuming person. Tiny but creepy, this little spider is every prankster’s dream collectible, as it’s bound to scare all arachnid-fearing Neopians despite being completely harmless. Or… is it harmless? Not only is this little Spider fear-inducing, it actually unleashes 11 icons at the recipient - a prank that turns into a real damage-inflicting scare. It’s only single use though, so you may need to replenish their Scary Spider stock rather soon.

     2. Chia Pillow - for the childhood best friend

     Remember when you were children, you had the wildest sleepovers with friends? You chatted, you played games (probably Neopets), and of course, you had the most intense pillow fights! To bring back such nostalgic memories, gift your childhood best friend this adorable Chia Pillow and instantly travel back to the good old days together. And maybe as adults you can recreate those fond memories - but this time, make sure you remember to dodge a whack from the Chia Pillow!

     3. Cobrall In A Can - for the hard-to-shop-for friend who asked for a surprise

     “Surprise me.”

     Well, they asked for it. You have that friend who you’re not quite sure what they’d enjoy as a gift. You tried to prod for a better idea, but you didn’t get much to work with based on their vague answer. At your next gift exchange, hand them this innocent-looking ordinary orange can. As they lift open the star-patterned lid, SURPRISE! A large Cobrall suddenly springs out at their face like a lunging serpentine on the attack. Better hope they have good reflexes (or a forgiving sense of humour) for this literal surprise.

     4. Cybunny Rotten Carrot Attack - for the messy friend

     Maybe you have a friend who struggles to keep up with the mess around them. Life can move fast, and things can fall by the wayside. You could be the friend who’s up for the challenge to help clean and make light of the treasures found together during the decluttering process. Treasures - both the good, and the…smelly? Why, it appears your Cybunny friend forgot about the carrot that’s been sitting under their desk. But not to worry, you found a clever way to repurpose it - smack this rotten carrot into an opponent’s face!

     5. Dinner Table Cutlery - for the friend who’s hosting the holiday parties this year

     Perhaps your (rich) friend had joined in on the mad craze about the Retired Hidden Tower Treasure Capsule. Now, they may have the avatar and nothing of value but a Golden Butter Knife (or two…or three…). Well, they may as well have a fork and a knife to complete the set, right? Chase down enemies for dinner with this Dinner Table Cutlery and the Golden Butter Knife - they’ll be running, for sure.

     6. Earwax Chia - for the friend with the Yellow Chia avvie

     Ok, what in Neopia??? Who…? Whose idea was this?!! It’s debatable whether this is some random pet’s earwax in the shape of a Chia, or a Chia’s earwax molded to resemble its namesake - who knows what those Smugglers at the Cove were thinking? Gasp, could this have come from THE Yellow Chia that rests in peace??

     In any case, if you want to absolutely gross out your Chia friend or watch your Chia friends chuck these hairy globs at one another, then…there’s not a more disgusting weapon in existence than this (after dung, of course).

     7. Fake Hand - for the friend who always needs a hand

     There’s always the friend that asks for help in every situation, no matter big or small - Got a Faerie Quest? Please help them search the Shop Wizard! Trying to trade their pet on the Neoboards? Please help them bump their board! They ran out of omelettes for the Faerie Festival? Pleaseeee donate some extras to them! And of course, being such a great friend that you are, you don’t mind lending a hand sometimes. But for the holidays this year, perhaps consider giving this Fake Hand to your friend to give yourself a break (you deserve it). Hopefully the Fake Hand will be enough to help them through their problems (at least, those in the Battledome)!

     8. Fake von Roo Fangs - for the friend obsessed with Halloween

     If your friend not only sleeps during daylight to play Count Von Roo’s Deadly Dice at night, but also spends their entire year waiting for the 31st of the Month of Collecting, then surely Fake von Roo Fangs would be the ideal gift for them this year. Not only can they cosplay as the Count with the Fangs, but its sharp teeth will give them a boost in battle as they dig them deep into their opponents!

     9. Island Attack Fish - for the friend with a fish pond

     Every time you go to this friend’s Neohome, you admire their dainty pond teeming with glistening Goldy petpets, nestled within their beautifully sculpted garden. It’s so zen-like and calm, with the only sounds being the graceful splish-splashes from the fish. The only thing that can make this seemingly perfect fish pond better? An Island Attack Fish! It fits right in with its shiny golden body, except it has even more character, instantly becoming the Alpha Fish of the pond. Besides, with its respectable battling abilities, the Island Attack Fish will make an excellent guardian, saving them Neohome security funds in the long run.

     10. Kitchen Quest Chopping Board - for your training buddy

     For the Battledomer who diligently supplements their training regimen with Kitchen Quests, wielding a Kitchen Quest Chopping Board is a badge of honour. It also serves as a wonderful platter to deliver the requested food ingredients to the Underwater Chef! Now if only he would actually give out that stat boost they keep hoping for…

     11. Bologna Pimento Glove - for your 2P battle friend

     You challenge your friend to a 2P Battle slapping contest. Well, what better way to humiliate them as your opponent than by slapping them with your slimy leftover lunch meat? If you’re up against a hungry Skeith or Grarrl though, don’t expect to come out of the battle with this weapon in one piece!

     12. Sticky Quiggle Flicky Thing - for the kleptomaniac friend

     Sticky Hands are Neopian thieves’ favourite go-to to maneuver a sleight of hand, stealing whatever their hearts desire. They’re so popular that hardly anyone can be fooled anymore - savvy Neopians know what’s coming when they spot the silhouette of a Sticky Hand from afar! But has anyone seen a Sticky Quiggle Flicky Thing? Probably not. We believe that for your kleptomaniac friend, a Sticky Quiggle Flicky Thing would make a great gift (assuming they are a Quiggle). They’ll be able to fling this toy lookalike at unsuspecting opponents, surreptitiously pilfering their prized weapons, completely undetected!

     Disclaimer: the authors of this article do not condone stealing, unless you want to be disliked like Team Kiko Lake.

     13. Wax Covered Candlestick - for the basic friend

     Scented candles are one of the most popular gifts for all occasions, ‘cause who doesn’t love a beautiful, aromatic candle to bring warmth to their Neohome? Your basic friend would be thrilled to receive one to light up in their minimalistic Neohome, as they sit by their fireplace sipping their hot cup of borovan. And yes, we realize this Wax Covered Candlestick is not fancy and unscented, but this budget gift option has a surprising hidden ability - it can deal some unexpected damage and burn some foes!

     14. Wheel Shield - for the friend who’s still waiting for the Wheel of Monotony to be done

     Every day, your friend heads to Tyrannia to spin the Wheel of Monotony, happily waiting the hours for the spin to be done. They love the wheel SO much. Even though they already own all of the exclusive wheel prizes, they’ll patiently sit and drift off into a daydream as it spins, slowly becoming unaware of the outside world. We propose that this advent, gift your patient friend the Wheel Shield. They will surely love the wheel aesthetic of this round shield, which will also help protect them from potential dangers when they undoubtedly zone out in front of the Wheel of Monotony.

     15. Zombie Fist on a Stick - for the friend who hates the holidays

     Festive lights, carolers, Christmas Neopets and steaming hot cups of borovan? No thank you. Well, gift them a Zombie Fist on a Stick, which they’ll (begrudgingly) receive. Now they’ll have a fist to raise in protest of anything festive that comes their way.

     Wherever you find yourself this advent season - whether it’s the wintry snowy lands of Terror Mountain or the balmy warm sand dunes of the Lost Desert - we hope our two-part guide sparks ideas to help spread joy, laughter and cheer with (and some eye rolls from) your friends and loved ones. Let us celebrate and clink our glasses of borovan together - Happy Holidays, fellow Neopians!