O, the Joys of Owning a Slorg!

For starters, why choose a slorg over another petpet? Why not the angelic Angelpuss or the cuddly Warf? Why not the oh-so-cheap Abominable Snowball or the carrot-hating Floud? Well, firstly, slorgs have a price tag that will make you smile. The running price for a slorg is currently around 7,500 neopoints. This isn’t as insanely inexpensive as an Abominable Snowball, but it is definitely affordable. In fact, this price is so manageable that you can teach your pet neopoint-management by letting them save up for a slorg themselves! When my kacheek came running home from Neoschool one day after seeing his friend’s new slorg, he wanted his own very badly. Not wanting to spoil him, I refused to purchase him one. Well, being a very persistent little kacheek, he worked hard playing games for about a month, and he soon had enough money for his precious slorg. Second, slorgs require enough care that they will teach your Neopet responsibility, but they are not so difficult to take care of as to be annoying. Slorgs do not require you to put forth a fortune of neopoints into purchasing the latest in petpet food and supplies, and the slime factor is the only part of caring for a slorg that most pets won’t enjoy.

So, have I convinced you yet that your pet needs a slorg? Good! Well, once you are ready to make your purchase (with either your own neopoints or your pet’s), you will need to follow some guidelines for selecting your new friend. First, find a reputable petpet store. Many stores are known for abusing slorgs by keeping them in inadequate environments and not caring for them properly. What’s worse about these stores is that because their prices are usually at the top of the Wizard’s list, most people head to these stores first when purchasing a petpet. If you purchase your slorg from a non-reputable store, be warned that it may be infected with numerous diseases. Either you will end up pumping thousands of neopoints into a cure for the slorg’s sickness, or the slorg will pass away and your pet will be devastated. So, find yourself a good petpet store. Most stores will carry a large number of slorgs because of their immense popularity. Next, you need to inspect each slorg carefully in order to pick the one that is both healthy and suitable for your lifestyle. Most importantly, you need to make sure your new petpet is healthy. When picking a slorg, look for one with bright eyes. Dull eyes may indicate sickness. The slorg should be slimy, but not too slimy as this means more work for you. Now, you need to pick a slorg with the type of personality you prefer. Watch the slorgs interact with each other. Which one is friendly? Which is defensive? Which is loyal? If the shopkeeper will let you, hold the slorg you are considering. Does it seem to like you? If so, you’ve found your perfect petpet! Congratulations! Name it and bring it home.

Now, you will need some basic supplies for your new buddy. Most good petpet stores also sell these. In order to provide you with the best possible information about which supplies slorgs prefer, I have interviewed Sloogy, the plushie slorg that my kacheek Peekaboo so adores. Below is a reprint of the interview.

ME: So, Sloogy, what is your preference as far as petpet beds go?

SLOOGY: Well, to tell you the truth, I don’t really need a bed. I’m perfectly happy sleeping with my owner. But some people don’t like sleeping with slime, so a petpet bed might be a good idea. I’m a simple kind of guy – I like the basic green and brown petpet beds. They’re very comfortable and affordable, and they won’t clash with your décor. If you have a girl slorg, however, they might prefer a pink domed petpet bed or a deluxe canopy petpet bed. If you have a million trillion gazillion neopoints, then there are several more luxurious options. My favorite of the classier petpet beds is the scarabug petpet bed because it’s very comfortable and looks just like a real bed!

ME: What about food bowls?

SLOOGY: Well, it doesn’t really matter. My personal favorite is the blue spotted food bowl because it’s very stylish and also very inexpensive – but all food bowls are inexpensive, so it’s really a matter of personal preference!!!

ME: And bathtubs……?

SLOOGY: Well, most pet bathtubs have a matching petpet bath tub, so it would be really cute to put matching bath tubs next to each other in your neohome’s bathroom! So, if you’re into décor, get yourself a bath tub that matches your bigger one. If you’re more into saving money, then the white petpet bath tub is fine. All petpet bath tubs (except the coconut one and the rainbow one) can be purchased for under 10,000 neopoints, though, so again, it’s really a matter of personal preference. But whatever you do, do NOT get a wicker petpet bath tub! Despite its description, it leaks terribly!!!

ME: Do you have preferences for toys?

SLOOGY: Well, we slorgs can entertain ourselves with anything! Homemade toys are often the most fun, anyway. A scratching post is fun, even though we don’t have claws. Just a thought. Otherwise, we’re fine without any toys.

I hope this interview helps you pick out supplies for your slorg!

Now, let’s talk about care. As I’ve said before, slorgs do not require very much care at all. Of course, you need to feed your slorg every day. They will eat just about anything, from the omelet you’ve been saving in your sdb to the unrecognizable matter given to you by the Shrine, who claims it is “food.” They need water to drink, also. Slorgs love to go outside and should be taken out at least every other day. If not, they may get too hyper to handle. Slorgs are also very sociable and should be allowed to interact with other petpets frequently. My kacheek enjoys inviting over his friends and letting their petpets play together. Bathe your slorg at least once a week. Young slorgs usually do not like to be bathed but will soon become accustomed to it if you continue to bathe them.

And now…….the most un-enjoyed part of caring for a slorg……the slime factor. It is no myth that slorgs leave a trail of slime everywhere they go (yes, everywhere). Most slorg owners simply peel up the slime and throw it in the waste bin, but this is tiring and time-consuming. Being a long-time slorg owner, my kacheek has come up with an easier alternative. Mix a can of diet neocola with the juice of a cheery tomato. Then, squeeze the juice from a pimplepepper and add it to the mixture. Place this concoction in a spray bottle. Now, all you have to do is spray the mixture wherever you see slorg slime, and the slime will magically disappear!!!

A slorg is a very friendly, loyal companion that can provide your neopet with a lifelong friendship. Owning a slorg is very satisfying and rewarding! Plus, slorgs are, in the opinions of many Neopians, the cutest petpets of all, and eventually, you may be able to purchase a petpet paint brush and make your slorg even cuter! So, what are you waiting for??? Pick up a slorg for your neopet today!!!