Reporting live from Neopia Circulation: 118,491,560 Issue: 238 | 5th day of Hunting, Y8
Home | Archives Articles | Editorial | Short Stories | Comics | New Series | Continued Series
 

What You Do or Don't Know About Stan


by my2nyour2

--------

LOST DESERT - Oh, hello, there, tender reader. I am (anonymous), and I am here to tell you about perhaps the most famous Kyrii on the site. Surprising, isn't it, that the best thief on the site is a fourteen-year-old who isn't even in a color that members of that type of Neopet can be painted. After spending considerable time with him, I've decided to differentiate between what he's like. I will first dispel rumors about him, and then I'll give you some facts about what he's really like.

1. Stan is cold and unfeeling, with a heart of stone

I wouldn't be surprised if everyone thinks like this. He is a thief, after all. Well, it's a tempting but dangerous assumption to fall under. He's really not like that at all; he can be very kind, and he never once deserted me when we went on that one adventure together. He is caring and sympathetic, and does try to help people, as long as it doesn't involve giving away; for obvious reasons he doesn't like to share his items. I remember at the end of our adventure, when we went to the petpet store, and he was playing with the petpets. He's not cold; he's a darling.

2. Stan does not pay any attention to staying clean

How likely do you think this is? He's a KYRII, after all! He actually likes to be clean; he claims thieves like him are no dirtier than anyone else. Also, he doesn't like his hair getting messed up; he originally tied it back to keep it from getting tangled, which isn't unusual, I suppose. He may not be able to afford expensive grooming products, but he is nonetheless proud of his hair, and if you get it at all dirty, you'll be sorry because you'll find that he has quite a terrible temper!

3. Stan stole the gold bands and earrings he now wears

This is an understandable idea, but it's not true. He didn't steal the gold accessories he now wears, or not in the usual sense of the word at least. He doesn't want me to say where he got them from though, or how; it's a very sensitive topic for him.

4. Because he is a thief, Stan is mean, ruthless, and greedy

This is not the case. Actually, it tallies in with the first thing I said. He can actually be very sweet, like I said. He isn't greedy at all; if you're a street urchin, you need to get your food from somewhere! He only steals for food; not because of greed. He also isn't ruthless; if you try hard enough, you can catch him, and for him, a hopeless position is really hopeless (play the game if you're not convinced of that).

5. Stan can get anywhere, literally anywhere, he wants to go because he's so agile

Okay, this isn't a bad way to think of him, but it's still not true. Being a mor... ah... alive, he can't go places where a solid form of his size couldn't go; he can't squeeze through the tiniest cracks and he can't fly! Also, he can't swim, so that's another thing out of the question. He is, however, very agile, and because he's small, he can squeeze in places where his pursuers can't.

I have explained some rumors about him that needed to be dispelled. I will now tell you the facts; true things about him that I've learned, that you may or may not know.

1. Stan has fire inside him

Well, that's what all things seem to suggest. He has inner workings that are so hot, if you gave him a hug, he'd be glowing with warmth! This also acts like a built-in thermostat, meaning that he never gets too cold or too hot! It's not all fun and games for him, though, since he has such a high body temperature, and so is very prone to overheating. Too much physical exertion in the hot sun could kill him or at least make him very dehydrated. Running away from people chasing him is fine but sprinting for long hours or pulling heavy stones is another.

2. Stan loves puzzles

Oh, yes! He adores puzzles, and riddles too. That's one thing we both have in common, since puzzles to me are an obsession! Because of this, he was as enthusiastic as I was to go on a quest to complete a really long series of them. Honestly, he was much more help than I expected!

3. Stan is very loyal

I know this is so; I was struggling with an unsolvable riddle, and he stayed by me and refused to leave, even though he ran the risk of starving. This was before he even cared about me, so he's the most loyal Neopet I know, not that I know very many Neopets. If you need more proof, at the last part of our adventure, he went right up to the villain and tried to fight him, risking serious injury or worse, and I wasn't even at risk of dying!

4. Stan is dirt poor

He leads a life that is the opposite of what mine was; he has no home, and no money for food (so he steals). He doesn't mind; actually he's quite content to live like that! He doesn't see anything wrong with him doing what he does, though he knows it's against the law, because he knows that he isn't otherwise a bad person. He's not a bad person, and he doesn't steal for fun; he only does it to eat. Aside from that, he doesn't mind being poor. After all, 'sometimes having more is really less.'

5. Stan is not the easiest person to get along with

Okay, so I mentioned how kind he could be, and now I say this. Relax, reader, I am not a hypocrite. While Stan may be very nice, he can also be hotheaded, hot-tempered, outspoken, and rude. He's a great friend, and certainly if he likes you you'll probably like him, but on the opposite end of the scale, if he doesn't like you (for whatever reason), the odds are good that you'll have trouble liking him. Of course, what can you expect from a fourteen-year-old?!

So, as you can see, this most famous Kyrii is really not at all like thieves are often known for being; he can be hot-tempered, outspoken, and rude, but he can also be kind, caring, and loyal. So, if you ever see him, don't run away or turn him in; just say hello. Only, if you don't want him stealing from you, I wouldn't recommend showing him any food!

 
Search the Neopian Times




Great stories!


---------

Elderly Pets Gone Wild
Not even Uni Shampoo can help.

by wallaroo42

---------

Whoops!
It was a sad day for the Jolly Roger crew when they left Phil the intellectually challenged slorg on deck...

by gantaeno

---------

Absolute Randomness
Talk about a big appetite.

by cinzia19

---------

Clash of the Pink Bobble-Heads
Now, play nice...

Also by xpropugnator

by gliderames




Submit your stories, articles, and comics using the new submission form.