Neoschools Return to Neopia

With this shocking news that all Neopets under the age of eighteen have to go to Neoschool, Neopets are groaning and complaining, predicting strict teachers, hours of homework each evening, and horrible cafeteria food. This will not be the case, however, as a press conference stated by the president of the ND (Neoschool District) said that the teachers will assign the least amount of homework as possible, and will do their personal best to make Neoschool a safe and fun place to learn.

A familiar face will also be working at the Neoschools as the Janitor; all that is known is that he is an orange Yurble, but no one really knows his name. It is rumored that "Bostingo" may be possible, but really... who would want to be named Bostingo? This reporter certainly would not! We'll do our best to get more information on this current situation.

With this bittersweet news, the School Supplies has been absolutely flooded with rampaging Neopet parents paying thousands of neopoints to send their Neopets to school so they can have their five hours of peace and quiet. Schooling items have been insanely inflated that poor Neopians can't even afford them anymore! Please relax, young grasshoppers; the ND and The Neopets Team have plans to make sure that every Neopet, rich or poor, young or old, will have what they need to excel in Neoschool.

Of course, everyone is wondering, "Who will be taking care of my Neopets?" Well, not to worry! We had our reporters go to the Neoschool in Neopia Central and inquire who the teachers are, a bit of background information on them, and what courses they are teaching.

Mr. Leer

Mr. Leer is a green Zafara who is teaching Potion Brewing Basics. From what we can gather, Mr. Leer is quite nice, and is trying to make sure that the class will get through the course with as less stress as possible. He also gives out one-on-one help to kids after school. He also wants to make a message to the Neopian public to say that this course requires attention and dedication, no slacking please!

Mr. Leer has majored in Potion Brewing, and has a PhD in Advanced Science.

Mrs. Owen

Mrs. Owen, who is a red Pteri, is more on the strict side, as you might say. She is known to her coworkers and some students as "the Bad Omen" as she is that strict. She does care for the students and wants them to grow in education, but they need to put their part in school too. Slacking is definitely no option in her class. She comes from a long line of teachers (before Neoschool was canceled) so she definitely knows a thing or two. In short, Beeewaaare...

Miss Matthews

This young blue Elephante is actually one of the more soft-spoken Teachers at the Neoschool Academy of Neopia Central. She does get a bit stressed when young Neopets don't listen to what she says, and she has a weak heart, so it's best to make sure you listen to what she says... if you can hear her soft whispers anyway. She loves little children, 'tis why she's a teacher, and will do the best of her ability to help people spell better.

Mr. Lupid

If there is anyone who loves to be enthusiastic about that rotting Green Apple on the counter, it's the blue Lupe Mr. Lupid. He can take that moldy piece of junk and turn it into a million neopoint work of art! (Who wouldn't be enthusiastic about that, hmm?) He loves to be spontaneous and just wants to shout to the next room. (Also why most of the school doors are closed for the noise!) If you want to be energized for the day and be happy for living, make sure you visit Mr. Lupid! Just make sure you bring your art supplies to class every day.

Mrs. Green

Ah, Mrs. Green. This reporter's favorite teacher! She teaches early Neopian History, such as Ancient Neopia and Jahbal, or more boring, show you ancient hand written copies of The Neopian Times! Fun fun fun for the whole family! (Of course, who doesn't love The Neopian Times?) She is very willing to spend after school hours to help students understand Neopian History. She also likes to wear lots of green... I wonder why that is?

Miss Stryke

Oh boy, if you thought the Bad Omen was bad, take a look at Miss Stryke! Once you see this yellow Kau, she'll be haunting your nightmares for the rest of your life! Pleasant, huh? Yeah, I thought so. She likes to get straight to the point and skip the chitchat, so have fun starting a conversation with her! She runs Physical Education, so prepare to run laps on laps and laps on laps around the Academy! So hopefully you have some good endurance! (I recommend the Krawk Island Training School!) Have fun! (Yeah... fun... right...)

Dr. Ballard

The mathematician in this school is none other than the infamous blue Lenny, Dr. Ballard! Dr. Ballard speaks a foreign language actually; no one can make it out. Something to do with pi, I guess. Hmm? Pie? Ooh, I love pie! Particularly cherry! Mmm, love that pie! So um, not that I'm going off the subject (hush you!), Dr. Ballard sometimes speaks English for learning purposes and teaches basic shapes and sizes! Everything is a shape, even this word, or this letter! Or that Slushie drink that's sitting on my writer's desk right now! We all use math every day, yep, every day.

Mr. Noakes

The name can be hard to pronounce, but it's pronounced "mi-stir no-ACHES" unlike commonly said, 'nokes' and this can be a pet peeve for Mr. Noakes! But pushing this aside, this blue Tonu loves science and always does his best to teach about the galaxy, or why Terror Mountain is so cold! Be forewarned; you'll be learning in Mr. Noakes's class!

Well, there you have it! A nice brief overview of all the teachers teaching at the Neoschool Academy of Neopia Central! Aren't they lovely? They should be, considering almost every day for ten months in a row you'll be seeing them!

We'd also like to say that Neoschools won't appear on the main map as of yet; there is however, a way to get it. The Neopets Team sure likes to mess with the Neopian Public, hmm? After, I don't know, a month or so, Neoschools should appear in either the Neopian Plaza or Neopia Central! We shall all see!

More Neoschools just might be opening up in the near future, as the Neoschools do have a limit. Lands such as Meridell, Maraqua, Altador and Shenkuu may be possibilities released through insider sources (As well as maybe a new world of the mutants?). Time will tell... please stay tuned to the Neopian Times for this matter.

Apparently, we have just been passed with a special news bulletin report.

"Dear Neopian Public,

We'd like to thank you everyone for your patience and waiting for this special release of Neoschools! We hope that you enjoy Neoschools as we had fun coding, programming, drawing and a bunch of very annoying and painstakingly long, um, fun, tasks!

Thanks for your cooperation,

Signed, the Superintendent of the Academy of Neopia Central"

And that's this news bulletin! So, please enjoy this brand new feature of Neoschools, while this reporter takes a nice, very long break from writing this article and goes to enjoy some lip smacking Cherry Pie, and send his poor Neopets off to Neoschool. Muahahaha!

Author's Note: Thanks for reading! My inbox is always open to feedback, particularly about Neoschools. Go Neoschools! -Jockylocky