Hasee Bounce... or Life Lessons?

I’m talking about Hasee Bounce, of course.

I’m actually not that great at the game. I’ve missed too many Rainbow doughnutfruits to count, and I’m not a Grand Master at it yet, but I’m working at it. Don’t ask me how a simple game morphs into a philosophical thinking session. I’m not quite sure myself... I guess watching doughnutfruits fly across a screen for twenty minutes just does that to you.

In any case, though, it occurred to me one day that the strategies and happenings in Hasee Bounce actually teach life lessons. Important ones.

So without further ado, I offer this metaphorical article to you. The next time game time runs out in Hasee Bounce and both Hasees are crying, just remember, that’s life.

***

Lesson 1: If you ask for a ridiculous shortcut, you’ll get sarcasm and a few laughs.

Go type in “Pleasegivemeonemillionneopointsthankyouhasees” during gameplay. I’m serious. See what happens. Laugh. Realize that that might be what happens in the real world too.

Lesson 2: Remember the restrictions and rules.

No, Woogy cannot pick up both color letter fruits. Neither can the other Hasee. Too bad. And there isn’t much you can do about that, so you might as well just miss a few letters here and there if they fly by too fast. As long as you remember the cans and cannots, you’ll pull through. There are things you have control over and things you don’t, and it’s important to remember both.

Lesson 3: Plan ahead.

You’re given a count off at the beginning of the game. Use it to type “doughnutfrui”. Why? Because then you’ll be able to add the “t” whenever you need it for the full time bonus! It’s impossible for me to squeeze 13 letters into two seconds, and I’ve missed an Icy Doughnutfruit trying to do so. Make it easier on yourself and think ahead. Another situation: you might be one letter away from that Hasee time bonus that you really need. Forgo the yellow doughnutfruits for a few seconds; you might get lucky if you’re patient. (Then you won’t end up slamming your keyboard when three of the same letter you need fly by and you miss them all. *shudder*)

Lesson 4: One point is better than no points.

So you missed that Rainbow Doughnutfruit. (I feel your pain). So you ended up getting a yellow doughnutfruit instead. Hey, yellow doughnutfruit is better than no doughnutfruit. Look on the bright side in life, and let it make you happy. After all, in most situations, you’re only as happy as you want to be. Choose to be happy. Accept that yellow doughnutfruit.

Lesson 5: Sacrifice = strategy

Sometimes you have to feed one Hasee that strange mud puddle so the other Hasee can grab that Fish Doughnutfruit. Go for it. It’s what it takes sometimes, and it’s a smart thing to do. (Although the PPL might want to investigate this game; I’ve always wondered who’s throwing the dung and slime and whatnot at the poor Hasees. Unless those things grow on trees too?)

Lesson 6: Dung is inevitable.

Okay, maybe I’m just not a good player at Hasee Bounce, but I firmly believe that it’s impossible to dodge every bit of flying gunk in the game every time. Life is like that too. There are good and bad days. Bad days are unavoidable, but those who are skilled may be able to avoid them altogether. Still, one might just catch up to you when you’re unaware, but it happens. Go on and keep playing the game. Don’t let those bad days drag you down too much!

Lesson 7: If you miss a Gold doughnutfruit, don’t be too hard on yourself.

There might be a Fish one flying by next. You never know! If you’re depressed over one thing in life, by moping around about it, you might miss something even better.

Lesson 8: Stay in the air; that’s where the doughnutfruits are.

You don’t get anywhere sitting around. Jump for the opportunity! Chances are, you’ll collect more doughnutfruits if you bounce more. But remember to be patient sometimes, especially if you’re waiting for a letter to get a Hasee time bonus. Bounce often and bounce wisely. But often.

Lesson 9: “Rare” does not mean “Nonexistent”.

The elusive Phantom Orange Shirt guy. The slippery Fish Doughnutfruit. I’ve only seen one of these in my entire life (and I missed it in my shock...). Some users haven’t seen either of them yet. Still, just because you don’t see it, doesn’t mean it isn’t there. One of them could fly by one day. Any day. Any day at all. And in life, there are some opportunities that you don’t see often, but who knows? You might get lucky. (Or, like me, you might get lucky and then miss the chance. Oh well, there’s always next time.)

Lesson 10: You don’t need to stay in the same place. Deviate!

For some strange reason, both Hasees can defy physics and change direction in midair at the simple twitch of a mouse. This feature makes it easier to navigate away from dung or towards a rare doughnutfruit. It’s also much more effective than simply having each Hasee bounce straight, and allows more collection of those yummy doughnutfruits. As in game, so in life. A little creativity goes a long way. Be different once in a while.

And finally...

Lesson 11: One fish doughnutfruit is the same as 50 yellow doughnutfruits.

If you miss a Fish doughnutfruit, it’s okay; there’s always another game. Work your way up slowly in the meantime. Ultimately, it’s all the same in the long run. If you’re good at the game, it won’t make a difference. There are two ways to get 50 points, the hard way and the easy way. Sometimes you get lucky, sometimes you don’t. That’s life.

Bottom line is; there’s always a silver lining. Look for it. And if you don’t find it, go ahead and paint it there yourself.