When Zombies Attack: A Guide for You to Survive

With the recent release of the Zombie paintbrush, many problems have arisen in the once peaceful land of Neopia. As is common knowledge, a single bite from a zombie will force you to join their swelling ranks. This guide will teach you everything you need to know on how to fend off the hordes of smelly zombies rotting at your doorstep. We will start off listing a few items to defend yourself:

1. Wand of Reality

For short term defense, bring back the sane with the Wand of Reality. This super powerful weapon will make any mythical creature, including brain eating zombies, disappear in a puff of cheerful smoke. Be careful, though--when zombies attack, the line between reality and mythology begins to blur...

2. Wind Up Zombie Aisha

If you need to switch locations in the event of a major zombie outbreak, consider using the Wind Up Zombie Aisha. Since zombies will follow anything that moves, this moving toy is the perfect distraction while you and your pets make a quick getaway to a safe house. Be careful, though. This toy has been known to malfunction.

3. Steel Trapdoor

If you manage to capture a zombie, do not dispose of it--you could use it to your advantage for bargaining! Keep your prisoner contained with the Steel Trap Door--this mega strong door will withhold any walking undead scum that will try a jailbreak--it’s a one way only! Just be careful--zombies will eat anything they can get their remaining teeth on--check periodically to make sure that your prisoner is still behind bars.

4. Blumaroo Bouncing Boots

Is there a crowd of scab covered zombies that’s blocking your only escape out of an infested area? Then try the Blumaroo Bouncing Boots to reach safety! With ultra high tech bouncing technology, these Bouncing Boots will bounce you over any number of zombies that want to eat your brains!

5. Skull And Crossbow

Everyone knows that if you're defending a high spot from an invading horde of zombies, the only fun way to go is with the crossbow. The Skull And Crossbow has everything you need to get you started taking down zombies in a jiffy! Just remember though--this is only a toy, and probably won’t do anything to a zombie army. Sorry.

Now that you are equipped to handle any sort of zombie attack, let’s talk about making a fortress. A fortress will be your base, HQ, or place of operations during a breakout of zombies. If you choose to use your Neohome, remember that Zombies cannot swim. This makes Maraqua or Blumaroo Island an ideal place to set up a fortress, being as they are both completely surrounded by water. Unless, that is, there is already zombies on your island.

Warning: Do NOT spend too much time on your fortress--if there is a major outbreak of zombies, you will be overrun sooner or later. This means that you should choose a place that is already built to withstand attacks, like King Hagan’s castle, or Darigan Citadel. Even the Esophagor is an excellent choice to make camp for a while--if you make friends with him, he will eat any zombie that dares venture near him.

Transportation: As stated earlier, not staying in one place too long is essential to your victory over a zombie outbreak. You must be mobile, and able to get to one place or another. Here are a few suggested forms of transportation that have proven themselves in just such zombie epidemics:

1. Faerie Cloud Racer

Why not? The vehicle is built for speed, and it can fly! Any cloud racer will do, but if you get a choice, go with the fire or water faerie’s racer--zombies hate both elements! The only downfall to stealing and using a racer is that you may be challenged on the road by a faerie who wants to race. And you don’t want to turn down a faerie’s request to anything!

2. That Little Green Spaceship Thingy

No one has any idea what it is, but that little spaceship that flies across the World Map looks like a great way to avoid zombies! It's sure to be equipped with all sorts of cool space lasers, rays, thrusters, and many more fun zombie--destroyers.

3. Shenkuu Flying Ship

They may not be fast or maneuverable like a Faerie Cloud Racer, but you could definitely do worse than a Shenkuu Flying Ship. Before you set sail to the high winds, though, check below decks to make sure that you don’t have any zombie stowaways--that would ruin anyone’s day for sure.

4. Swarm! Tank

Get ready to pull out the big guns! Just right for the average Neopian who is fed up with running away from zombies, the tank used in Swarm! is sure to make any walking undead think twice about trying to attack you! Get, load up, and drive out--it's time to take the offensive!

Previous Zombie Outbreaks:

Your schoolteacher always said, “You can learn much from the past!” Well, it's time to put that saying into use. To help you get a better understanding of just how zombie attacks happen, let's take a look at some of history’s prime examples:

Haunted Woods, Y12: The most recent recorded zombie attack, a group of about two dozen zombies swarmed the Gypsy Camp in the Haunted Woods, completely destroying everything in their path. All the gypsies escaped still in their non undead form, thank goodness.

Altador, Y11: Perhaps the smallest zombie report, the Hall of Heroes contained a zombie spy--the Janitor. No one really knows how or why he turned into a zombie, but we are sure someone is keeping a close eye on him, right?

Roo Island, Y10: This happy little island’s day was ruined when Count Von Roo teamed up with the zombies and led an attack on the entire island. Fortunately for the citizens of Roo Island, it was just a realistic April Fools Day joke. We think.

Well, my friends, this is the end. You now know everything that you need to about zombies and how to defend, run, and attack the undead creatures. We hope that this little survival guide will never have to be put into use, ever. Because that would mean that there would be a zombie attac--*Augh!!*