Misadventures of a Neopian Times Reporter XIII

This story is totally Crystal's fault. But, I asked, so I guess I deserved it.

"Do you think I get into an unfortunate amount of trouble?" I asked the Island Mystic as I put away my notebook. "Or am I fairly normal?"

      I asked, because I expect half of the people who come to him for advice must have about as much luck at life as I do.

      "I think you should watch out for faeries with food poisoning," the Mystic replied.

      "I should have known better than to expect a straight answer from you," I sighed. "Anyway, thanks for the interview; I'll be off."

      "Good day," he replied.

      I left the hut and squinted as I took my sunglasses from my purse. I put them on and walked down the path, down towards the harbor. As I walked through the lush foliage something rustled in the grass off the path. I stopped as a Meepit broke from the foliage and ran across the path and into the dense plants on the other side.

      For a moment I stood there in surprise, wondering if I'd really just seen that. Then my brain caught up. With a groan I dived off the path, into the plants, and pushed through until I came to a clearing. The Meepit was seated on sturdy plant, looking bored.

      "Finally! I was beginning to think I'd have to come back and drag you here, which would ruin the point of trying to be covert in the first place," the Meepit said.

      "Got something for me, then?" I asked.

      The Meepits usually had me carry things for them and drop them in appointed places or give them to certain people. The Meepits had unusual contacts and I'd met people I really didn't want to and hoped never to again.

      "Actually, we have a mission for you," the Meepit said.

      "Okay. Where do I meet Slorgie this time?" I asked.

      "No handholding this time. You've been a minion for a few years now, we think you can handle yourself by now," he said.

      "What?" I screeched. "I haven't even figured out how to properly use stairs and you guys want me to go solo? Are you mad?"

      "Your ability to successfully ascend or descend flights of stairs has no bearing on this situation. You should be able to handle this just fine. Your mission is fairly simple. Go to Kiko Lake and meet up with the Dark Faerie Belinda and pick up the information she is holding. Bring it to Buzz Johnson next time you go down to his office. Be warned, she's known to be a bit contrary, though I doubt she'll give you too much trouble. She doesn't want to fall from our good graces."

      "Oh, well, that's not what I expected when you said mission. I should be able to handle that," I replied.

      "You'd better," was all he said.

      He slid down from the plant and offered me a slip of paper. There was an address written on it. I tucked it into my pocket. He disappeared off into the foliage and I made my way back to the path.

      ***

      I walked through the streets of Kiko Island's suburbs, searching for the address written on the piece of paper. I finally found it. It looked like a normal little house, which seemed too tame for a Dark Faerie. I went up to the door and knocked. The door was opened by a Dark Faerie, but it was a bit of a shock. She was wearing a bright pink halter neck top and denim capris, and her hair was in a messy ponytail. She looked like a teenager who rolled out of bed and just didn't care.

      "Oh, you the girl the little ones said they were sending?" she asked.

      "Yes, I am," I replied.

      "Cool. But, seeing as I'm a Faerie, you should totes do a quest for me to get it," she said.

      "Did you just say 'totes'?" I asked, more incredulous about that than the fact that she was going to send me on a quest despite the fact that she was just supposed to hand it over.

      "Yeah, I did. Now, here's your quest. Get me Lenny Fruit Tiramisu."

      "Seriously? I'll have to go to Neopia Central for that. Also, it is a bit of a special item, what if they don't have it?" I cried in frustration.

      "That's, like, your problem. Later!"

      She slammed the door in my face. Fuming, I walked down the sidewalk, back towards the Eyrie Taxi stop. I knew somewhere a bunch of Meepits were laughing at me.

      ***

      I waited in line at the bakery for about twenty minutes before it was finally my turn at the counter. I scanned the display case hopefully, but there was no tiramisu in the case. I looked up at the Baker.

      "Do you have any Lenny Fruit Tiramisu?" I asked.

      "I don't think so," he said.

      I must have looked pretty despondent, because the Baker said, "You know what, just let me go look in the back. We might have one back there."

      I waited for about five minutes. I was giving up hope when the Baker came back, carrying a clear plastic box with the Tiramisu in it. He beamed proudly as he presented it to me.

      "You are a lifesaver," I cried as I paid.

      "Happy to help, young lady," he replied.

      I hurried out of the store, unaware of a little drama unfolding with my exit.

      One of the sous chefs came out of the back kitchen, asking, "Hey, boss. Did I just see you carrying out the Lenny Fruit Tiramisu?"

      "Yes, a customer was pretty desperate to get one," the Baker replied.

      "But, boss, we were supposed to throw that out. Remember? We thought there was bad fruit in that batch."

      "Oh, dear, I forgot. Run outside and see if you can see her. Short girl with really long blonde hair."

      The sous chef ran to the door and looked out. "Nope, she's gone. Nothing we can do now. Well, I guess someone will be going to Faerieland later."

      ***

      I knocked on the door of Belinda's house, feeling proud of myself. As I waited, I noticed that there were slorgs on her bushes, eating the plants. I made a mental note to point that out to her. The door flew open and the Dark Faerie stood there, fork in hand.

      "You are like totes amazing!" she cried as she accepted the tiramisu.

      She dug into the tiramisu with a violence that was horrifying to watch.

      "Hmh, this has kinda a funny flavor," she commented around a mouthful.

      "Maybe you shouldn't eat it then?" I said, a little worried.

      She just shrugged and continued shoveling in the tiramisu.

      "And the package?" I prompted.

      "Oh, right. Here," she fished a little silver case out of her pocket.

      I slipped it into my hip pocket and was turning to leave when she suddenly whimpered, "I don't feel so hot."

      I turned back to look at her. As I did so, she threw up all over my shoes. I gasped in disgust, but managed not to jump away from her.

      "What's wrong? Can I do anything to help?" I asked.

      "You jerk. You gave me bad tiramisu," she accused me.

      "What? But, I just bought it, straight from the Bakery," I cried.

      She glared at me, and then she looked over at the Slorgs. She zapped them with her dark magic, and then slammed the door in my face. Suddenly the Slorgs began to grow rapidly. I started running for my life.

      ***

      Chloe opened the door for me when I got home that evening. The Korbat's mouth dropped open as she looked at me. I was bruised, dirty, and covered in slime.

      "Don't even ask," I said as I stomped up the stairs. "It's totes unbelievable."

      "Did you just say 'totes'?" Chloe asked in disgust.

The End