Things We Wish Our Pets Could Wear

1) Petpets

We've all looked at the various trinkets that can sit alongside your Neopet's feet, and wondered - why can't that space be occupied by a Neopet's loving companion, the Petpet they look after? This is especially the case for those Petpets that so closely resemble certain Neopets that they could pass as little brothers or sisters, or those carefully selected to match the theme of their Neopet's outfit - one of my family Petpets is a black Wadjet that looks like it could be the offspring of its owner, a Darigan Buzz. With the exception of a handful of species and colours that have wearable toy versions, such as the Yooyu and the Green Harris, it just isn't possible to include Petpets in Neopet customisation. It would be too hard, they say: there are so many Petpets, hundreds of different kinds when you include every colour and every species, that it would be ridiculously impractical to make all of them wearable. But despite this major hurdle, which probably means that our Neopets will never be able to display their Petpets as part of their customisation, there can be no doubt that if attached Petpets ever did appear in the Closet for the purposes of customisation, they would be eagerly displayed by many Neopians who are fond of their Petpets as well as their Neopets, and would love to see the pair standing side by side.

2) Yooyuball Gear

How many times have you found yourself cheering for your favourite team during the Altador Cup, then looking at your specially-customised Neopet and wishing that a little extra something could be added? Wearable Yooyuball slings are one of the most common requests for new additions, as well as shoulder pads that match those worn by the athletes. But in the old Altador Cup Souvenir Shop, team clothing was released that sadly can't be worn - including cheering pompoms, team pennants, water bottles, and beanies - all of which would make awesome clothing items. At the moment, there are already plenty of wearables for the various teams, many of which are restricted to the NC Mall during Yooyuball season (including many items whose releases were limited to just one Altador Cup), but although these items cover a large portion of possible outfits for Yooyuball devotees, they still don't complete the picture. Just think... when the next Altador Cup comes around, your Neopet could be decked out in the whole range of fan wear or sporting equipment, ready for the game. Those old items from the Souvenir Shop (and the store they once stocked in) are ripe for re-release, and for an enhancement that would allow them to be worn with pride by the most passionate followers of the sport.

3) Older Clothes

To many Neopians, it makes no sense that not all clothing is actually clothing. There is an ancient range of T-shirts, hats, collars and scarves, fluffy slippers, novelty ears, and even full-body costumes that are just sitting in the Clothing Shop gathering dust, because our Neopets can't actually wear them. One wonders why they haven't been retired yet, actually - but in the past, some of them (such as the Bow Tie and Wellington Boots) have since been converted so that the new customisation app can use them. But still, how awesome would it be if your Neopet could wear a T-shirt with "I Love My Petpet" on it, or a hat shaped like Dr Sloth's head? Or perhaps one of the handsome garments from the Neovian Tailor Shop, such as a Plain Vest or a Long Blue Dress? The full-body costumes have huge potential, including the signature attire of Prince Jazan, Vira the evil Acara, and even the glorious Dr Sloth himself. Even just those Cool Shades would probably make your Neopet look totally like a boss. We can only hope that, in time, the Neopets Team decides to go back and add these gems to the pool of current wearable items.

4) Weaponry

Oh, everybody wants this. Even people who aren't particularly keen on the Battledome. How epic would your pet look if he or she could be donned in a spectacular suit of armour, holding a sword and shield? There are a few species sets for warriors, but they barely scratch the surface of this category's possibilities. Again, there are so many battle items that converting them all would be basically impossible. But perhaps the Neopets Team could concentrate on just a few... and the first thing that springs to mind is the series of defensive items, based on clothing, available at the Brightvale Armoury. The Royal Purple Tunic and Cape would, as I have already mentioned, look absolutely sensational on a Darigan Draik... if only a Darigan Draik could wear it. The Red Suede boots and hat would be superb for a king's outfit, particularly when paired with the Red Tassled Cloak and a Short Sleeved Yellow Tunic. Fans of Kanrik would love the shady-looking Black Velvet Cloak; those who are fond of Ilere might enjoy the Ivy Laced Cloak. My personal favourite is the stunning Elegant Jewelled Robe, which is so lavish and handsome that it's a great shame nobody can wear it.

5) Instruments

Some species of Neopet can wear these already - for instance, the Pteri has a classical cellist's outfit, and a Flotsam can dress as a funky guitarist - and a few instruments can be worn by all Neopets, such as the Cobrall Charmers Clarinet, the Drumset Foreground and the NC Mall's Haunted Piano. But there are still many others... some of which could serve as foregrounds or background items, but most of which would have to be hand-held. A few, such as the Lost Desert Drum and the Harp, could be turned into trinkets which would sit next to your Neopet. A couple could even be worn around your Neopet's neck: the whistles. I have high hopes for this category because progress is being made already: the Drumsticks are now wearable, as are the Autumn Trumpet and Autumn Guitar; and new wearable instruments are being released regularly as well. But there's still room for more: we'd love to adorn our aspiring musicians with trombones, cymbals, xylophones, or even musical triangles. I just hope they don't convert the accordion...

6) Sculptures

This category encompasses pieces of art that could happily sit alongside our Neopets. Osiri's Pottery springs immediately to mind: some of these beauties would be fantastic trinkets, although only one is currently usable for customisation. Unfortunately, this is not a category which has much promise for future wearables, because the majority of handsome centrepieces would be much more suitable in Neohomes, sitting atop the fireplace or in the middle of the dining table. As a result, many fine sculptures have been converted (and, more recently, created) for use in Neohomes v2, rather than to accompany a Neopet's outfit. But this does not rule out the possibility that at some point in the future, we will have items that can be used both as furniture and as wearable trinkets. The recent release of shields bearing the logos of each of the eighteen Yooyuball teams, which can either be equipped to a pet for use in the Battledome or placed in the Closet to allow the pet to wear them, provides a glimmer of hope that there will be more items in future that can serve multiple purposes.

7) Toys

Huge headway has already been made with this category, but more is always better. Many unique items such as the Can Telephone and Invisible Petpet Leash (which might be nice handheld items), Swirly Thin Grey Beard and Hairy Tash (which have potential as facial accessories), and the Old Box Fort (which would be a great foreground) would be fantastic if converted into wearable items, as would some of the balloons and paddleball games. The Spyder on a String would be great on All Hallow's Eve or April Fool's Day. Of course, very few people would be bothered with wearable keyrings, so it would take patience for the Neopets Team to sift through all these old items and find the best ones to convert. When it comes to toys and trinkets, however, the greatest potential for positive change lies in moving those items that are already wearable into their very own shop, similar to the Ugga Shinies retailer in Tyrannia which sells foreground items. This, as with Ugga Shinies, would prevent the wearable items disappearing in a sea of mere trinkets, making it less of a fuss to find them in Neopia's main shops. Several different stores sell toys and trinkets that a Neopet can hold or display beside them, so giving them their own shop would be a prudent move.

8) Temporary Visual Effects

Several temporary effects that could be added to a pet's customisation were released for site events, and they retired when those events ended, which means we can no longer use them. The Scourgies disease and its crazy experimental cures, released on April Fool's Day of Y13, are the best examples in this category - my Faerie Grundo looked surprisingly good with that pale blue healing goop slathered on his head. Other silly additions to Neopet outfits that day included Slorgs, a covering of splints, an ice pack, hot soup (which got its own background item, but can no longer be applied to a Neopet's body) as well as the Scourgies disease itself. The previous year offered different April Fool's pranks, including a wave of slime and a pie in the face. I know that there are similar items that can be worn - the Pie Tin Hat (which still contains the pie) and the rather icky Snot Frame - but still, I loved the pie in the face. I wish my Neopets could still wear that pie - it was laugh-out-loud funny. I wonder if that item will ever be re-released?

Of course, the list of possibilities for epic wearable items that are brand new is so incredibly long that I won't even attempt to explore the subject, lest this issue of the Neopian Times be saddled with an article so lengthy that a mere mortal would require several dozen Altador Strength Potions before they could even lift the newspaper. Instead, I'll leave it to the strange but awesome imaginations of the Neopets Team to conceive the great wearable items of tomorrow. In the meantime, fashion-loving Neopians can take comfort in the fact that, with so many great clothing items in circulation right now, there is already a near-infinite array of possibilities for putting together a drop-dead-gorgeous outfit for any Neopet.