Interview with the Happiness Faerie

     The faerie didn’t much resemble any other faerie. While other faeries may have shared her unusual skin or her red eyes, no other faerie had wings like hers. While other faeries had wings with intricate designs, her wings were simply a blank, pale brown. Her clothes were rather different from other faeries, also. She simply wore a faded grey, floor-length dress. Her waist was cinched by a faded red sash, but otherwise, her clothes were shapeless and boring. She was rather proud of the black boots she was wearing, but no one could see them. A lot of faeries walked around barefoot, but the soles of her feet were rather sensitive.

     She jumped when she heard the giant, oak door on the wall beside her open. She turned towards it to see a seething Illusen trudge out. Illusen mumbled angrily and incoherently, but the green-skinned faerie could distinctly make out “You’re next, go in.”

     She quickly darted into the room but was stopped in her tracks by the strong smell of talcum powder. She stepped back slightly as she stared out at all of the faeries sitting around the conference table. Each faerie, one to represent every element, had drawn wrinkles on their face and powdered their hair to look old. Of course, faeries couldn’t age the same as other Neopians. But these faeries wanted to look old, wise, and important.

     The fire faerie gestured at the empty chair at the end of the conference table. The comparatively youthful faerie took her seat and pressed her back against the leather upholstered seat as far as she could, shrinking away from the somewhat terrifying elemental faeries in front of her. Each faerie picked up a stack of papers and read a few lines before blankly staring at her.

     She didn’t know what to do, so she simply stated, “I am The Happiness Faerie. I bring happiness to all that I meet.”

     The Water Faerie Representative scoffed before asking in a rather rude tone, “Do you have a given name?”

     The Happiness Faerie paused before asking, “Do you use your given name?”

     The Fire Faerie Representative let out a harsh laugh as the Water Faerie Representative scowled at her, blushing. The Water Faerie Representative responded curtly. “No, we are the representatives for our entire elements. It would be improper to address us in any way that does not reflect our standing.”

     “Then I am The Happiness Faerie,” she nodded softly, “Because, to address me in any other way diminishes the happiness I bring.”

     The air faerie scoffed. Her “old woman” makeup was hastily drawn and did not look realistic at all. “You’re Happy. I’m not wasting breath to call you anything longer than that!”

     Happy shallowly nodded. “To call me Happy does not diminish the happiness that I bring. Thank you for giving me that name.”

     The Earth Representative leaned in and smiled. “Sadly, we could not allow my sister, Illusen, to take the throne. She had too much of a mouth and too much pride. Do you, my sister, have too much pride?”

     “Well, I cannot be proud to be your Earth sister,” Happy looked down at the table in feigned shame, “For I am not an elemental faerie.”

     Each representative gasped. The water representative gestured wildly at Happy. “Your skin is olive, like Ilere’s. Your wings are the colour of bark. How can you not be an Earth faerie?”

     “Perhaps happiness is most like Earth,” Happy nodded slowly, “It is calm and sturdy. Trees, which my wings may represent, must be very happy to stand tall and bathe in the sun.”

     The Fire Faerie representative leaned back in her seat, the front legs leaving the floor. She looked over at her fellow representatives before gesturing wildly at Happy while she explained, “We need a Queen who listens to the wisdom of those that have more specialized knowledge than her. We know our elemental sisters better than any non-elemental faerie ever could.”

     Happy nodded slowly. “I understand. I could not understand breathing underwater. If the water becomes toxic, I would not understand how to make it better. If I did not listen to you,” she gestured towards the Water Faerie Representative with her open palm facing the ceiling, “I could harm the faeries who swim in those waters as opposed to helping them.”

     The Water Representative smirked and looked over at the Earth Representative. The Earth Representative returned her smirk as she pointedly asked Happy, “Would you still use that logic when you disagree with me?”

     Happy let out a soft hum as she looked up at the ceiling, weighing her options. She understood what the Earth Representative meant. She looked to the Air Representative and asked, “I understand that Air and Earth are often at odds. If one were to have an issue with the interests of the Earth Representative, it would be you.” Happy tapped on her chin for a few moments as she watched the gears turn in the Air Representative’s head. Happy knew that the Air Representative had never heard that response before. The Air Representative leaned in, hoping that Happy would say what she had wanted to hear all day. Happy continued, “I am not an elemental faerie. I do not believe I can make decisions for elemental faeries. I will need to listen to you.”

     All of the representatives exchanged glances while flashing their wide, sinister smiles at each other.

     “Despite being queen,” The Air Representative put her hands on the table, “You would give all of the power to us, the representatives? If we asked to annex Maraqua for our Water Faerie sisters, you would allow us to?”

     Happy nodded with a soft smile, “If all of the Faeries in this room agreed, I would be wrong to stop it.”

     All of the representatives sat up straight and murmured to each other, doing their best not to let Happy see their absolute joy. No other faerie had even implied that the representatives would have any power at all. As they slowly stood, the Fire Representative reached out her hand. “Welcome to…”

     She was cut off by a loud bang. Everyone turned as quickly as they could to the source. Their eyes all fell on the extremely angry Space Faerie standing in the doorway she had just kicked open.

     “This is it, Frank!” Mira yelled out, “You have gone too far!”

     The Air Representative pointed at Happy and yelled out, “This is not your so-called Frank, it is Queen Happy!”

     Mira rolled her eyes. Every time she interacted with the Representatives, she wanted to punch a wall. She made her way to Happy and yanked off her wings.

     Suddenly, in Happy’s place was Dr. Frank Sloth in an unconvincing black mask that didn’t hide his identity at all. He let out an awkward laugh as he sank into his seat.

     “You made her a grey faerie!” The Fire Representative gasped as she pointed at Mira, “You monster!”

     “No,” Mira pressed her palm against her forehead, “This is Dr. Frank Sloth. He’s tried to take over Neopia countless times. He has imprisoned me. He is one of the biggest threats to our safety as a planet.”

     The Earth Representative tutted. “I’ve never heard of this Sloth person. Must not be that big of a deal if I’ve never heard of him.”

     Mira’s eyes were dead as she lowered her hand. She knew what was happening. The Representatives would make Punchbag Bob the queen of Faerieland if it meant them getting to do whatever they wanted. However, she knew that there was one thing that stood in Sloth’s way of Faerieland domination. She cleared her throat before pointing at Sloth and explaining, “He is a man. He is not a woman. Only a woman can be Queen. Faerieland needs a Queen, not a King.”

     The Representatives gasped in unison. They all looked towards Sloth with eyes filled with sadness.

     “I’m sorry, Happy,” The Water Representative stuttered out, “You would have been the best Queen in the world if you had just been a Faerie."

     “Sloth!” Mira shouted out, “He is Sloth and he is a very bad person! He owns the space station! He makes mutant Neopets! How do you people not see how absurd this all is!”

     The Air Representative made her way to Sloth and threw her arms around his shoulders in an awkward hug, “We would have brought Faerieland into a new and prosperous age together, Happy.”

     Mira smacked her palm against her forehead again before grabbing Sloth’s wrist and yanking him out of his chair.

     Sloth reached out his free hand and called out, “Just give me back my magic wings! I paid too much for those!”

     Mira glared at all of the Representatives, causing them to sit down and stare nervously at the table.

     “Sloth, I know it’s the natural order for me to always defeat you,” Mira fumed as she dragged Sloth out of the room, “But this time you made it way too easy.”

     The End.