The Merits of Meridell’s Stinkiest Attraction

      Christine: Welcome! A lot of Neopians were thrilled when the chance of rare items spawning at Meridell’s Rubbish Dump increased significantly. If you’re willing to sift through some smelly trash, you could walk away with something valuable---

     Influir: Just buy whatever you want. Paupers!

     Tivlia: What can you find? It would have to be awfully good to tolerate countless Zeenana Peels, Squished Tomatoes, and fish bones...

     Christine: A Darigan Paint Brush---

     Tivlia: ---eyes light up--- Wow! That’s actually worth it! While I’m happy with my Maraquan colour, I could sell a Dari Paint Brush for a lot of Neopoints! I’ll just take a bath afterwards.

     Influir: Pathetic!

     Tivlia: Not a bad profit. What else can you find?

     Christine: That’s why we’re here today. In honour of the Meridell vs. Darigan special edition of the Neopian Times, we will be covering several of the more spectacular finds.

     Stepholla: I hear that you can get an avatar by digging up a good item.

     Christine: True! This avatar can be obtained by successfully grabbing a treasure:

      Christine: Be quick, though, since other users will undoubtedly be trying to grab the same treasure!

     Influir: It’s not worth it, considering that you have to dig through literal TRASH for hours on end. I wouldn’t be caught DEAD doing that!

     Tivlia: I want to find a paintbrush.

     Christine: Well, here is your new, and rather unlikely, treasure hunting location, Tiv. Without further ado, here are the items:

      ---Darigan Paint Brush---

      Christine: Look nice and sinister with this paint brush, and for the low, low price of FREE if you dumpster-dive!

     Influir: Nah, there is NO WAY I’d EVER pick through trash. I’d just go to the Hidden Tower and BUY ONE instead!

     Stepholla: But free is free! I wish the dump had some cutesy options...

     Tivlia: Beggars can’t be choosers, smart one!

     Stepholla: ...You don’t have to be so rude.

     Christine: Tivlia, please be nice. Even if you don’t plan on painting yourself Darigan anytime soon, you can still sell this paint brush for a good amount of Neopoints you didn’t have!

     Tivlia: Totally true! That’s why I’ll be treasure hunting here from now on.

     Influir: You are SO desperate, it’s laughable...

      ---Dung Catapult---

      Influir: Is this a JOKE?! YUCK! ---holds nose---

     Christine: No, it’s a real item you can find in the Rubbish Dump, and someone will buy it from you for a good amount of Neopoints if you manage to nab one.

     Influir: Who would actually WANT this abomination?!

     Stepholla: Well, it IS a full water blocker in the Battledome, but there are more popular water blockers out there...

     Influir: Ones that don’t SMELL!

     Stepholla: There will be some collector out there who buys this, I guess. People love to collect weird things...

     Influir: Weird is RIGHT!!!

     Tivlia: At any rate, it’s PERFECT for pranks. ---cackles--- The next person who gets on MY nerves will become the victim of THIS!!!

     Stepholla: That is SO messed up, Tivlia....

     Tivlia: Well, there are lots of villains in Neopia who deserve to be pranked, wouldn’t you agree? Such as Dr. Sloth...

     Influir: Nah, he deserves even WORSE!!!

     Christine: At any rate, this is an... interesting item, and definitely a conversation piece.

      ---Everlasting Apple---

      Christine: No matter how many bites you take out of this apple, it will never get any smaller.

     Stepholla: Which is GREAT! It’s the perfect way to solve Neopian hunger once and for all.

     Influir: Between Trudy’s Surprise and the Soup Kitchen, no one goes hungry in Neopia, you dummy.

     Stepholla: ...And I wish that no one in Neopia would be so rude.

     Christine: Influir, please be nice. I wonder if this tastes like an ordinary apple, or if it’s something better?

     Tivlia: I don’t know or care. I like seafood instead.

     Stepholla: ...But I care. Could you and Influir PLEASE stop being smart-mouths?!

     Influir: If you really DO care, I tried one once. It was pretty tasty due to the addition of faerie dust. MUCH better than anything that could be grown in Meridell...

     Stepholla: Now I want one.

     Influir: Then go dumpster-dive, you fool... I’m not getting out my wallet for a pauper like YOU.

     Stepholla: ---sigh---

      ---Jhudora the Dark Faerie Doll--

      Christine: This doll, representing Jhudora, is similar to the Faerie Queen Doll, but the Jhudora doll doesn’t give an avatar.

     Influir: Then we need a Jhudora doll avatar.

     Tivlia: Agreed!

     Influir: Without an avatar, I suppose this is mainly for galleries?

     Stepholla: Yeah, since it’s far too expensive to give to a child...

     Tivlia: ...Far too expensive UNLESS you dug it out of the dump for free. ---smirks---

     Stepholla: At that point, you might as well clean it off, sell it, and then buy your Baby Neopet a 5 np toy off the Shop Wizard and call it a day. They won’t know the difference.

     Tivlia: Very true. Any baby who plays with THIS thing is the epitome of SPOILED!!!

      ---Turmac---

      Christine: If he eats a lot, a Turmac can grow up to be big and strong. Almost as big as the Turmaculus someday!

     Stepholla: I hear that Turmacs like berries.

     Tivlia: Very true... This guy is good for offloading all the cheap berries from Pick Your Own.

     Influir: Of course... I only eat gourmet!

     Christine: The Turmac is one of several Petpets that can be found in the Rubbish Dump. If you’re lucky enough to grab one, the first thing you should do is give your new friend a bath. Your Neopet will thank you when they are presented with their new Petpet.

     Tivlia: Or, whoever buys the Petpet from you will thank you. No one buys smelly merchandise, or at least not unless it’s half-off!

     Influir: You couldn’t pay ME to take anything smelly off your hands...

     Christine: ...So give your new Petpet a much-needed bath.

      ---Conclusion---

      Christine: So, which item was everyone’s favourite?

     Tivlia: The Dung Catapult. Perfect for pranks! ---mischievous grin---

     Stepholla: The Everlasting Apple. No one will ever go hungry!

     Influir: None of them, since they came from the TRASH!

     Stepholla: Hey, Influir, have you ever heard of re-using items to prevent waste?

     Influir: Yeah, but re-using items should NOT involve trash-picking. Why don’t YOU go dumpster-dive?! You want an Everlasting Apple so badly...

     Stepholla: ---lost for words---

     Christine: For those who are willing to sift through the rubbish, there certainly are worthwhile prizes to be found. Enjoy treasure-hunting, and until next time, dear readers!