97.5 Signs That Neopets Players Might Be Insane!!!

     I've always thought it was hilarious how we work away at winning as many games as possible during the yearly Altador Cup, without even knowing how the scoring system works. We must be truly insane to play hundreds, sometimes thousands of games, without being sure whether our efforts are even worth it. Only a Neopets player would be this crazy!

     Inspired by the idea of Neopets players being absolutely nuts, I thought I'd make this list! In it, I list the ways in which we're deranged, odd, and completely bizarre! Only Neopets players are this insane. I hope you enjoy reading it…because it was really delightful to collect it!

     So, the top 97.5 (yes, you read the number right) reasons why Neopets players are insane are…

     1. We play the Altador Cup like maniacs, but don't even know how the scoring system works.

     2. We might have a whopping 50 different pets, yet we covet 100 more.

     3. We save and save and save to create and paint a pet, only to give it away a few months later to someone who wants it more.

     4. Sometimes we choose the outfit first, and THEN create and paint the pet to go along with it.

     5. We love our zapped Clay JubJubs more than our expensively painted Darigan Draiks.

     6. We love our badly named pets just as much as our well named pets.

     7. We let our pets get hungry and sick on purpose, just to make their faces look sad and melancholy.

     8. Neopets is no longer about the pets, for veteran players. Now it's about chatting on the Neoboards, achieving game trophies, achieving avatars, competing in contests, etc., so veterans give away all of their pets.

     9. We'll blow our entire year of Neopoint savings on an awesome Neopoint outfit.

     10. We'll blow our entire year of Neocash savings (real cash!) on an NC Mall outfit.

     11. We keep hoping for new colours, like Jewel and Balloon Animal. I personally am hoping for a Cherry, Banana, or Tchea Chia someday. It might take years, and yet we continue to hope!

     12. We'll obsessively rearrange our pets between our five accounts (a process that sometimes takes months), until every pet is situated juuuust right.

     13. Sometimes we only log in once a month, and yet we're still fiercely protective of all five accounts, instead of self-freezing.

     14. We make a distinction between anthro and quad pets, and we're very specific about which type of pet we prefer.

     15. We literally jump up and down for sheer joy when TNT posts on the Neoboards, asking for our opinions. We love TNT so much (and they’re always so cute)!

     16. We want a real life Neopets shop where we can buy replicas of virtual items on the site, such as a Space Faerie Lunch Box or a Rainbow Neopets Notebook. We'd unabashedly spend hundreds (maybe thousands!) of real life dollars there, without regretting it!

     17. Some of us have been logging in daily for 5+ years without a single day off. Crazy!

     18. We make a point of logging in daily, in case a special site event happens on short notice. (Hello, Altador Cup! And Daily Dare…and Games Master Challenge…and Charity Corner!)

     19. We're already #1 on a game's high score list, but then we keep playing the game over and over again to beat THAT score….just to make sure we remain #1 when more players play the game that month.

     20. We'll play the same game over and over again for months, trying to reach an avatar score. Then when we reach the score, we never play the game again, despite our newfound finesse. (Game fatigue is so real!)

     21. All of us want to work for TNT. Whenever they have a job opening, we pounce all over it!

     22. Since Neopets no longer rolls out with Collector Plush, we sometimes make our own. Must be nice to have sewing skills!

     23. It’s really hard to NOT have a hobby on Neopets. The contests and activities are so varied and creative that there’s something for everyone here!

     24. Veteran players will go to any lengths to re-acquire a pet they gave away years ago, such as their first ever created pet. Sometimes they'll trade pets 5 or 6 times in the process.

     25. Many of us had multiple game accounts at multiple game websites, but cancelled all of them except for Neopets. We’re so addicted to Neopia!

     26. We think the virtual foods on Neopets look tastier than real life foods.

     27. Since we can't buy Neopets posters, we make our own.

     28. The Random Contest was discontinued for years, and yet players still enjoyed making their own Neopets crafts during the interim. For instance, one player made latch hook rugs that featured her Kacheek. Another player made ice cream creations that featured his love of Sloth. We're a creative bunch, for sure!

     29. We’re always trying to recruit our friends to join the site. They HAVE to learn the magic of Neopets! It’s such a terrific pastime!

     30. Instead of griping about how strict the Neoboards are, we smile and relax on the Neoboards because it’s a safe haven. People aren’t harassed or insulted on the Neoboards because of the rules that are set in place. Neopets is safer and more welcoming than most game sites.

     31. It takes us 8 months to customize our dream pet, and yet we don't mind the loss of time at all.

     32. People actually get fooled by TNT’s prank on April Fool’s Day.

     33. We’re all waiting for the Neocam to come back, so we can stalk TNT at work.

     34. We’re wondering if TNT will goof off and dance in front of the camera if the Neocam ever does come back.

     35. Some of us qualify to visit Future Fashions, a section of the NC Mall that is only viewable by players who spent $100 in Neocash the month before.

     36. We play the Battle of the Obelisk like maniacs, but we don't even know how the scoring system works.

     37. We credit Neopets for our real life skills, like HTML and CSS, drawing, writing, etc.

     38. Some of us still chat with Neofriends that we met over a decade ago, and consider them to be real life friends, not “internet friends.”

     39. Kadoatery feeders are obsessed with feeding thousands and thousands of Kadoaties, even though there are no rewards for feeding more than 75.

     40. Neopian Times writers are obsessed with writing hundreds of articles and stories and comics, even though there are no rewards for writing more than 10.

     41. We have faith that certain areas of the site that have been broken for years will someday be fixed and available to play.

     42. Our own avatar ideas are sometimes better than the new avatars unrolled by TNT. (Can we someday get an avatar for having 10,000 of a single item in our SDBs? Or how about an avatar for reaching our accounts’ one year anniversaries?)

     43. Our own random event ideas are sometimes better than the random events currently available on the site. (Can we someday get a random event that resets our wins in the Battledome, so we can fight extra battles and get 15 more items?)

     44. The filters are so super strict that we’ve developed our own jargon to replace common words. (Poogle search, anyone?)

     45. Before participating in a site event, we first flock to the Neoboards to see if there’s a glitch with the event. It’s nice to have a heads up about glitches, so that we can check in later when the event is working properly! (Thanks to all the helpful people that warn the rest of us!)

     46. Unlike other game websites where our goals are completely self-centred, on Neopets we’re able to help each other with games and avatars, maintain guilds, and devote our time to answering players’ questions on the Neoboards. (So generous!)

     47. We each donate thousands and thousands of items to Charity Corner, even though we have no idea how the prize shop or perks will work after we’ve donated everything.

     48. We’re constantly craving plots and new site events, and hang onto the website even though we’ve been waiting for years for a new plot.

     49. We think of interesting pet/colour combinations that don’t exist yet, and they’re better than what TNT usually rolls out with. (Thanks to the player who designed the Maraquan Kiko!)

     50. We have extensive galleries full of interesting items, and no intention of ever entering them in the Gallery Spotlight. We’re all a bunch of collectors at heart! Pets, items, avatars, doesn’t matter, we collect them all!

     51. We love looking at other players’ screenies, vicariously exulting in their successes. Especially when they’re lent very expensive items and pets, and achieve difficult avatars with them!

     52. We’re always curious to see what the latest items are, even if we’re not collectors. They’re so creative and fun (and sometimes hilarious)!

     53. We judge other players based on our own values. For some of us, it’s all about the pets, so we stalk all 30 of someone’s pets. For others, it’s all about the NC Album items. And for still yet others, it’s all about the trophies. Everyone has different values!

     54. It’s possible to be entirely selfless on this site, which is unusual for a game site. For instance, you give away your Neopoints, give away Neocash items, give away zapped pets, give away Neopoint items, etc. just for the sake of making other people happy. I happen to give away zapped pets, so I know how fun and rewarding it is!

     55. Neopets started out as just a pet collecting site, but with the advent of customization, its main draw is that you can dress up your pets, not just collect them. The NC Mall is the busiest part of the site! What a fun (and engrossing) development for us veteran players!

     56. We have a Neopian calendar chock full of holidays and special pet days, and TNT makes sure we enjoy every special occasion with new pet/colour combinations, new items, themed Neopian Times issues, and more! We, as players, demand no less!

     57. We’ve all had “The Neopets Dream.” All of us. Sometimes we dream of something terrific, sometimes we dream of something horrific, but we’ve ALL had a dream about Neopets at some point in our lives.

     58. Veterans assiduously train their pets in anticipation of a future war. There are younger accounts on this site that have never experienced one (such as mine). We all hope for a war that will shake up the Battledome and give us something new to do!

     59. There are players who don’t bat an eye about spending $200 on the NC Mall every month.

     60. There are players who think old avatars will be revived someday, like the “Plushie Nova” avatar (from a McDonald’s promotion) and the “Coco Roll” avatar (from a Neopets mobile game). They were discontinued years and years ago, and yet we hope!

     61. We all want more Neopian lands! More, cooler, interesting lands! (How about 8-Bit Island?)

     62. We’re getting increasingly more creative with our contest submissions, in order to be unique. For instance, instead of “Faerie items,” we might make our gallery theme “Faerie items that are edible that you still don’t want to eat because you don’t eat blue food because food should never be blue.”

     63. We invent our own games with their own rules. For instance, we play Avatar Simon on the Avatars Neoboard, rate outfits on the Customization Neoboard, and rank pets according to intricate tiers on the Neopian Pound Neoboard.

     64. Downsizing our pets (after much thought and care) is as much of an accomplishment as collecting 30 different pets.

     65. Sometimes Gross Foods don’t look gross at all, and actually make us salivate! (Peanut Butter Pizza ftw! And the Anchovy Loaf doesn’t look half bad either!)

     66. We have strange proclivities sometimes, when it comes to collecting pets. Some players want pets with a certain birthday, pets that have multiple trophies, pets whose names start with specific letters, etc. that have nothing to do with the pet’s species or colour.

     67. Our badly named, badly painted pets are oftentimes more valuable for their art/story potential than our most expensive, well named pets.

     68. We hang onto our Fountain Faerie Quests in hopes of colours that doesn’t even exist yet. (Tchea Chia, anyone?)

     69. We want more holidays! How about a “Plushie Day” where our Plushie pets would look beaten up and torn from too much playing? Or an “Eat Food Pets Day” where all of our food pets (such as Garlic Kikos, Asparagus Chias, Jelly Aishas, etc.) have bites taken out of them? Will we ever finally get a “Darigan Day” to celebrate the darkest part of Neopia?

     70. Many of us fill up our Stamp Albums in anticipation of stamp avatars that don’t exist yet.

     71. Many of us fill up our Neodecks in anticipation of card avatars that don’t exist yet.

     72. Neopets has changed our personalities over the years. The darkest amongst us now own Faerie pets, and the most fanciful amongst us now own Mutant pets. It’s nice to evolve and accept things that we didn’t accept before!

     73. At this point, most of the players don’t know who Adam and Donna are.

     74. Our love of unconverted pets has prompted TNT to make UC Paint Brushes possible at the NC Mall. Seems like TNT really listens to their fan base! Other game sites don’t overhaul their sites in such drastic ways. Only on Neopets are the players treasured this much!

     75. Sometimes we take hiatuses from Neopets for years, then come back with newfound zeal. Not many gaming sites let you take hiatuses. Sometimes, you’re even booted from their sites! But not with Neopets!

     76. Customization was introduced in 2007, and we’re STILL hoping TNT will introduce a secure way for us to give away Paint Brush clothes (besides dressing up a pet and transferring it out to another player).

     77. With other game sites, you hoard as many weapons, spell books and money as you possibly can. On Neopets, on the other hand, altruism is a really popular pastime! It’s not necessary to fight bad guys and hoard wealth in order to enjoy Neopets.

     78. We spend 10 minutes getting dressed in the morning, and 2 hours customizing our pets on Neopets every evening.

     79. We rarely get jealous of other players. Everyone’s skill levels are so different and varied on this site that we concentrate on our own goals, not strive to emulate others.

     80. Sometimes, we only keep pets whose petpages we code and update. It’s not about the actual pets, it’s their petpages that we love!

     81. We laugh and smile at Spooky Foods on this site that are made of actual Neopets, instead of being horrified or creeped out.

     82. We’re all stalkers. All of us. We each have our own favourite players, sometimes secretly, but most of the time openly!

     83. We have projects that will never win any awards, such as writing stories for our pets, or decorating our Neohome v.1 homes, or dressing our pets without any intention of entering them in the Customization Spotlight.

     84. It’s been such a long time since we’ve had a plot with fighting that the newbies on this site don’t know to train their pets. They just paint them, or dress them up. The veterans, on the other hand, train their pets to dizzying levels for no reason, considering it’s been years and years since we’ve had a war or plot.

     85. We get depressed over things we have no control over, such as a dry spell at the Secret Laboratory Ray, not having a certain random avatar, the Stock Market plummeting, our teams losing at the Altador Cup, our teams losing at the Battleground of the Obelisk, etc.

     86. The idea of collaborations has taken off, and it shows no sign of stopping! Now the players collab on the Neopian Times, the Poetry Contest, the Beauty Contest, etc., and it was all the players’ idea! We’re so zealous and insanely creative!

     87. We wonder why TNT hasn’t made obvious Backgrounds, such as a Fish Bowl Background, or a Grundo’s Gym Background. I personally would love a Coral Reef Background or an Aquarium Tank Background. I guess that in some ways, we’re more inventive than TNT!

     88. Sometimes we spend real life cash at the NC Mall out of gratefulness to TNT, rather than because we actually want Neocash items. We all want this site to succeed!

     89. We never have just one project on this site. We always have multiple projects going on at once, such as playing the Stock Market while making Beauty Contest entries and writing NT articles. And when we’re done with those projects, we seek out more!

     90. Unlike other game sites where we can only have one account, we can have multiple accounts on Neopets that fulfil different goals. For instance, one account might hold a precious Gallery, while another account might hold six Darigan pets. Or we have a side account that’s purely for chatting on the Neoboards, while our main accounts remain secret. Anonymity is a great thing sometimes!

     91. Veteran players are still hoping Key Quest will come back. It disappeared in 2014!

     92. Veteran players are still hoping Habitarium will come back. It *also* disappeared in 2014!

     93. Now that real life Neopets merchandise is a thing, we’ve been spending hundreds, sometimes thousands, of dollars on Neopets gear without reservations! (I personally want a sterling silver Shoyru Necklace and a Rainbow Paint Brush Enamel Pin someday.)

     94. Many of us have spent over $5,000 on the site, whether through Premium memberships or through purchases at the NC Mall.

     95. Many of us believe there should be a “Really Bad Outfit” competition, in addition to the Customisation Spotlight that already exists.

     96. We sigh over our Neopets’ wearables and wish we could wear them in real life.

     97. We’re not afraid to spend 10 hours writing a single Neopian Times article. *pokes this list*

     …And the biggest sign that Neopets players are insane?

     97.5 We’re still here, and more addicted than ever! (Insert your own reason here!)

     Hasn’t this article been fun to read? We’re such an enthusiastic, creative group of players!

     Happy 975 issues, Neopian Times readers! It’s been a wild ride!