Detective Autoire's Greatest Case

     I wrinkled my nose and tossed the bowl in the sink. So much for the glamorous life of a high-profile Wocky detective. Examining the milk carton for a clue about when its contents had turned from a liquid to solid, I noticed a photograph of King Roo with the word "MISSING" stamped above his crown. That meant I hadn't cleaned out the office fridge since Y20—ever since my detective agency took off, and I found myself solving mysteries across the lands of Neopia.

     A pang of guilt accompanied the realization. Chores weren't the only part of my life I had neglected while I was summiting Terror Mountain to interview a pair of Chias running a rummage shop out of their igloo, or posing as a pirate on Warf Wharf to get the scoop on a rumoured Smuggler's Cove. I had also ignored my younger sister, Luvsgone.

     Luvsgone was as different from me as a sibling could be. While we were growing up, I was always looking on the bright side, seeking adventure, and making new friends. Meanwhile, Luvsgone was gloomy, introverted, and, to be perfectly honest, a bit scary. From day one, she had a cutting wit, and she wasn't afraid to wield it against other Neopets—myself included. At the sight of tears, her perma-scowl would turn into a tiny, fleeting smirk. The only other things that seemed to give her enjoyment were writing morose poems in her diary and training her Petpet to snarl, scratch, and bite on command. I must have found myself on the wrong side of Kerwin the Captive Shadow Wraith's tiny teeth a thousand times.

     But at the end of the day, Luvsgone and I were sisters. That meant we loved each other even when we didn't like each other. Didn't it?

     In any case, it had been too long since I visited Luvsgone. It was time to pack my bags and set sail to Roo Island.

     ***

     It was twilight when I arrived on Roo Island. The air was balmy, and a gentle ocean breeze carried the sounds of beachgoers' laughter and the tinkling melody of the Merry Go Round.

     When Luvsgone said she was moving to Roo Island, I was sceptical. A place where smiling, bouncing Blumaroos devoted themselves to fun in the sun and endless games of Dice-A-Roo seemed like an unlikely habitat for my surly sister. Surely she would have been more at home in a drafty, crumbling castle situated on a remote windswept bluff or in the turret of an ice palace, I told her. Luvsgone scoffed. She said she would live wherever she could find poetry, art, and a decent Tigersquash Cappuccino. “It's called culture,” she mocked. “Heard of it?”

     Seated on the edge of a fountain, I watched droves of intellectual-looking Neopets file into a building with a whimsical sloped roof that resembled a flat cap with a feather. I may not have been as cultured as Luvsgone, but I knew a poetry reading when I saw one—and where there was poetry, there was a high probability of finding my sister.

     The poetry reading was packed. I squeezed into one of the few open chairs at the back of the room, finding myself seated between a Spotted Lupe with a fastidiously groomed handlebar moustache and a Faerie Pteri wearing a black beret. Scanning the audience for Luvsgone, I wondered why it was that so many “creative types” seemed to abide by the same unspoken dress code. Admittedly, my fedora and trench coat, which made me feel cool when I was investigating cases, looked out-of-place and a bit dweeby by comparison.

     The house lights dimmed and a spotlight illuminated the podium at the centre of the stage. The chattering crowd fell silent. My heart leapt as the first reader took her place behind the podium. Dressed in a floor-length black gown, Luvsgone flipped her long, silvery tresses as she flipped through her notebook. Did my eyes deceive me, or was it possible that my angsty little sister was… elegant?

     Confession: Up to this point, I had never attended one of Luvsgone's poetry readings. My sister's creative output was a facet of her life I elected to ignore after Luvsgone caught me reading her poetry in her diary and sicced Kerwin on me as punishment. For her sake, I hoped that the poetry she read in public was an improvement on the juvenalia I had read during my snooping session.

     On stage, Luvsgone sipped from a glass of water on the podium and cleared her throat. “I'm going to read something new. This is titled, ‘What is Missing?’”

     I leaned forward. I recognized the title as a play on the tagline of my business card: Autoire's Detective Agency–Finding What is Missing and Returning it to You Since Y20. (Yes, I realize that's a bit wordy. I'm a detective, not a copywriter, okay?)

     Luvsgone read her poem, a lament that unfurled, line by line, with the refrain “I miss you with.” Apparently, Luvsgone missed me with every sunrise, every mid-morning cup of coffee, every afternoon walk along the shore, every sunset, and every time she went to sleep! I dabbed my eyes with the sleeve of my trench coat. I had to restrain myself from rising to my feet and shouting across the room, “I miss you too!”

     Luvsgone snapped her journal shut and stepped off stage.

     For a beat, the crowd was silent. The Faerie Pteri seated beside me whistled. As if awoken from a trance, the crowd erupted into applause. Forget that stereotype about poetry lovers sedately snapping their fingers to show their appreciation; these Neopets were hooting, stamping their feet, and cheering. Luvsgone wasn't some nobody with an artsy-fartsy hobby, I realized. She was a bonafide poetry superstar. I elbowed the Spotted Lupe beside me. “That's my sister,” I bragged.

     Behind his oversized glasses with thick black frames, the Lupe's yellow eyes rolled. “Yeah, whatever, inspector.”

     My cheeks flushed with embarrassment. I was too uncool for words.

     ***

     My detective work had taught me that Neopets wear masks. So why was it so shocking, after the poetry reading, when I saw Luvsgone holding court with her hip friends? She was seated on the edge of the same fountain where I had sat earlier. But whereas I had been alone, Luvsgone was surrounded by a circle of a dozen Neopets. Luvsgone smiled and laughed as she told a story that I was too far away to follow, but that her audience of admirers found uproarious.

     Out of professional habit, I suppose, I was lurking in the shadows, keeping tabs from a distance, waiting for Luvsgone's mask to slip and reveal the true version of my sister underneath. But instead, I realized that Luvsgone had grown up and mellowed out. Instead of spitting insults, she was engaging in quick-witted repartee, and her sarcasm had matured into an ironic sense of humour. Luvsgone was likeable.

     The Faerie Pteri who I had been seated next to at the poetry reading flew over my head. I ducked. The Pteri alighted on the Gold Chia statue at the centre of the fountain, his talons curled over the edge of the Chia's flat cap. “Hey, everybody! Count Von Roo is awake! Let's go play Deadly Dice!”

     Luvsgone's hangers-on cheered. I didn't know what Deadly Dice was, but I could tell from their excitement that the game must have been thrilling. The Neopets began to mosey away from the fountain. However, Luvsgone remained in place. The Pteri flew down from the fountain and landed at her side. “Are you coming with us?”

     “I'm wiped,” Luvsgone said. “I'm going to take a rain check.”

     “Suit yourself,” the Pteri teased. He took flight to rejoin the larger group. “Thanks again for the book!”

     Luvsgone tucked her hair behind her ear and took her notebook out of her satchel. She clicked her pen, seemed for a moment to consider writing something down, and then sighed. She returned her notebook to her satchel.

     She was about to leave. That was my cue to come out of the shadows and reveal myself.

     Luvsgone jumped. “Autoire? What are you—” Her expression darkened from surprise to anger. “Why didn't you respond to my Neomail?”

     I looked at the ground. Like the refrigerator in my office, my overflowing inbox was another one of those unfun parts of being a detective that I never seemed to get around to managing. “Um, because I didn't read it?”

     Lulu made a strange noise that almost sounded like a growl. “You're too late. You missed my poetry reading.”

     I folded my arms and smirked. “Oh, really? Then how do I know you miss me when you sip your Tigersquash Cappuccino?” I asked, loosely paraphrasing a line from her poem.

     Luvsgone blinked, astonished. “You were there?”

     “Wouldn't miss it for the world,” I said. A white lie, but so be it. “Since when am I the muse for your poetry?”

     “That poem isn't about you, Autoire.”

     I chuckled. It was so obvious that my sister was trying to save face. “Oh, come on. Who else would it be about?”

     Luvsgone heaved her satchel over her shoulder, annoyed. “You're a detective, yet you haven't noticed that someone else is missing?”

     I furrowed my brow. It hit me. Luvsgone and her Petpet were inseparable. Her Captive Shadow Wraith should have been riding on her shoulder, braiding plaits into her hair with his tiny claws or gnawing on a pencil eraser he stole from her satchel. “Where's Kerwin?”

     Luvsgone sunk her face into her paws. “I don't know!” she wailed. “He disappeared!”

     My stomach sank. “Just now?” I looked over my shoulder for any sign of the pocket-sized miscreant.

     “He's been gone for a week!” Luvsgone glared at me. “That's what I wrote in my Neomail! You've always been so self-absorbed! You never have time for me!”

     I wish I could say that Lulu's accusations were unfair. But I knew in my heart of hearts that she was right, and that I had a lot to make up for. “You have my time now, Lulu,” I said.

     Luvsgone cleared her throat.

     “I mean, Luvsgone,” I corrected myself, remembering how much she hated her playground nickname. “I'm going to help you find Kerwin.”

     “You should have been here a week ago,” Luvsgone said. “I've already looked everywhere. Kerwin is gone.” Her doleful eyes sparkled with tears.

     “I'm a professional,” I reassured my distraught sister. “Finding Kerwin will be a cakewalk for me. Let's get some rest and start searching tomorrow.”

     In the moonlight, we walked to Luvsgone's Neohome in silence.

     ***

     “It's impossible,” I said the following day, plopping into the sand on the shores of Roo Island. “Kerwin vanished without a trace.” The setting sun had turned the ocean's surface into an undulating pool of liquid gold. In the shallows, a few Neopets splashed in the waves, making the most of the last minutes of daylight.

     Luvsgone sat beside me. “What happened to ‘I'm a professional? This will be so easy for me?’”

     I tilted my chin toward a Blumaroo peddling ice cream from a cooler that hung from a strap around his neck. “Bring me an ice cream.”

     “Get your own ice cream,” Luvsgone said.

     “Please? Just this once?” I rummaged through the pockets of my coats and slipped Luvsgone a handful of Neopoints.

     Luvsgone sighed. “Quit bellyaching. What flavour?”

     “Starberry,” I said.

     Luvsgone rose to her feet, shook the sand out of her Grey fur, and set out after the Blumaroo ice-cream vendor bounding down the beach.

     I had spent the entire day investigating Kerwin's vanishing, and I hadn't found a single clue. I had turned out every drawer and checked behind the sofa in Luvsgone's Neohome, interviewed all of Luvgone's artsy friends and acquaintances, and hung up flyers in the Coffee Shop. Nada. Kerwin may have been a small critter, but his forked tail, glowing eyes, and penchant for creating mischief made him conspicuous. Whether he had run away or been kidnapped, it was simply implausible that he hadn't been sighted for seven days.

     Luvsgone returned with two ice cream cones. She handed me the one with a scoop of navy blue ice cream embedded with gold stars.

     “You got chocolate?” I asked.

     Luvsgone made a face. “Coffee.”

     “I should have known.”

     We sat side by side. Instead of the uncomfortable silence in which we had walked to her Neohome the previous night, this silence felt familiar and relaxed. Rooting through Luvsgone's belongings and speaking with her friends had shown me a lot about my sister that I hadn't known. For starters, she was published, as the author of two collections of poetry whose spines she bound herself with a needle and thread. Each poem was accompanied by a small illustration: a bouquet of dried roses, a bicycle chained to a fence overgrown with ivy, and a dark ring left on a table by a mug of coffee. Neopia, as seen through Luvsgone's eyes, was full of transient and imperfect beauty.

     Luvsgone's friends universally adored her, too. I realized that my professional responsibilities as a detective had crowded out friendships from my life. I had once spent my afternoons gabbing with my bestie, combing through the discount racks at Unis Clothing Shop or indulging our sweet tooths at the Chocolate Factory. But these days, I seldom spent time with anyone who wasn't a client, suspect, or witness. Between my failure to find Kerwin and my new appreciation for my lack of a work-life balance, I was beginning to wonder whether it might not be time to take a hiatus from my detective career.

     In the distance, a Nimmo on a surfboard stood to catch a wave. The wave collapsed and he tumbled into the water. A moment later, his head popped above the surface. It looked fun. If I wasn't a detective any more, maybe I could move to Roo Island and pick up surfing.

     “Your ice cream is melting,” Luvsgone said.

     I was startled back into the here and now. I licked the trickle of ice cream that was melting down the side of my cone. “Last night, your friends said they were going to play a game. Deadly Dice.”

     “They go after every poetry reading,” Luvsgone said.

     “Where is it played?” I asked. “Why don't we look for Kerwin there?”

     “Not a bad idea, detective,” Luvsgone said. She unwrapped the paper around the bottom of her ice cream cone and polished it off in one bite. “But we should probably wait until midnight.”

     ***

     “This is where you and your friends hang out?” With my flashlight, I surveyed the cramped crypt. Cobwebs draped from the rafters. In one corner, a Spyder presided over a freshly spun web, its ruby eyes glinting. That was a plus: If I couldn't find Kerwin, maybe the Spyder could become a new friend for Luvsgone. Aside from an old stone coffin engraved with the image of a Barbat, the crypt was empty.

     “You'll get used to the smell,” Luvsgone said.

     “This place reeks like Magic Smelly Socks,” I said, pinching my nose. “But with all the offensive odour, and none of the medicinal properties.”

     Luvsgone shushed me. “Count Von Roo is going to wake up any second. You don't want him to hear you insulting his home, do you?”

     I rolled my eyes. I strolled to the coffin and rapped my fist against its top.

     “What are you doing?” Luvsgone whispered. “Are you bonkers?”

     “Wakey-wakey,” I yodelled. “Count Von Roo, rise and shine.” My detective work had given me nerves of steel. When I was on a case, there was no way that a Neopian's nap time was going to get in the way of me solving a mystery.

     The lid of his coffin swung open. Count Von Roo rose, his orange and black cape billowing behind him and his white fangs glinting in the dim light. “Who is foolish enough to disturb Count Von Roo five minutes before his alarm goes off?”

     His fangs were larger than I had anticipated. A lot larger. I stepped backwards, tripped, and fell to the ground.

     Count Von Roo guffawed. He slapped his knees and wiped a tear from his eye. “A pratfall! Classic!”

     Luvsgone laughed nervously as she lifted me back to my feet. I patted the pocket of my trench coat, assuring myself that my beloved magnifying glass was still in one piece.

     Count Von Roo regained control of himself. “Do you care to wager?” He shook his clenched fist, producing a tell-tale clackety sound. Deadly Dice.

     “Not why I'm here, Roo,” I said, trying to preserve what little of my dignity remained. “I need to know if you've seen my sister's Captive Shadow Wraith.”

     “Your sister?” Count Von Roo asked.

     I shone my flashlight on Luvsgone.

     “Ow!” she said. “You're pointing that right into my eyes.”

     “Sorry,” I said, lowering the flashlight.

     “Wait one moment,” Count Von Roo said. He crouched inside his coffin and rummaged around. By the sounds of it, his slumbering place was more capacious than it looked from the outside. He rose back onto his tail, a slim volume of poetry held in his paws. “Are you Luvsgone? The author of this book of poetry that I won yesterday evening from a foolhardy Faerie Pteri?”

     “Yes,” Luvsgone said, her voice trembling.

     Count Von Roo cackled. “Why! I simply loved it. Will you please sign it? Oh, please tell me how you managed to compose all those villanelles. Was it terribly difficult?”

     I exhaled.

     Luvsgone clicked her pen. Without her having to ask, I shone a light on Count Von Roo's copy of Luvsgone's latest poetry collection as she signed her name and scribbled an illustration of a Spyder on the title page.

     “Back to business,” I said. “Count Von Roo, have you seen a Captive Shadow Wraith in here? Or heard anything about a Petpet on the loose, creating mayhem?”

     Count Von Roo looked up at the Spyder in the rafters. He made kissy noises. “The only Petpet I have eyes for is my Shnuckums. Isn't that right?”

     The Spyder squeaked.

     Count Von Roo's head swung toward me slowly. His eyes gleamed. “Now, as you say you are not here to wager, perhaps you would care to join me for breakfast.” His mouth cracked into an uncanny smile. He looked toward Luvsgone. “I'm also craving a midnight snack.”

     Luvsgone and I exchanged looks. Without needing to say a word, we both turned our heel and fled from the crypt.

     When we felt safe enough to stop running, we were at the Merry-Go-Round, where the colourful Uni figurines were frozen for the night in mid-gallop. Luvsgone clutched a stitch in her side. I sprawled on a bench as I struggled to catch my breath. We looked into each other's terror-stricken faces for a moment, then broke into hysterical laughter, loopy with adrenaline and relief.

     Luvsgone tucked a piece of hair behind her ear, and in an instant, the case of the missing Captive Shadow Wraith cracked open.

     ***

     The next morning, I pulled open the curtains in Luvsgone's room. Apparently, Luvsgone hadn't grown up as much as I had thought: she still slept under a pale blue baby blanket with a Darkest Faerie Plushie in the crook of her arm. Under normal circumstances, this revelation would have been a comedy goldmine. But making fun of my sister was not on my mind at the moment.

     I helped a half-slumbering Luvsgone sit up in bed and set a tray of breakfast food in front of her. Slabs of butter melted on heart-shaped chocolate-chip pancakes. A glass of cold Fresh-Squeezed Florange Juice fizzled. In a small white vase was a single fresh-cut rose from her garden.

     “Wow,” Luvsgone said, suddenly awake. “You made all this for me?” She picked up her fork and knife.

     I snapped my fingers. “Oh no! I forgot the coffee.”

     Luvsgone's cutlery clattered to the tray. “I don't need coffee. Seriously, don't worry about it.”

     “It's no trouble, little sis,” I said. I turned my back toward her.

     “Wait!”

     I looked over my shoulder. “What's wrong, Luvsgone?”

     She bit her lip. "I'm, um, out of coffee grounds."

     “Cut the act, Luvsgone.” I unbuttoned the pocket of my trench coat. Kerwin jumped out and ran under the bed, chattering.

     “Kerwin! You found him!” Luvsgone said.

     “In the coffee canister. Where you hid him. Luvsgone, why did you lie to me?”

     “He must have gotten in there by himself,” Luvsgone said. “I had no idea–”

     “Last night at the Merry Go Round, I noticed you had a tiny messy braid in your hair,” I said. “But the night before, at the poetry reading, you did not. That means that, while I was looking for Kerwin yesterday, you knew exactly where he was: on your shoulder, playing with your hair!”

     Luvsgone slumped. “It's true.”

     “Why?” I had been awake all night, combing through all the details, from the Neomail I had missed to Luvsgone's accusation that I had no time for her. I had a theory, but I needed to hear her say it.

     “I thought that the only way you would come to my poetry reading was if there was a case for you to investigate,” Luvsgone said. Her eyes filled with tears. “You've never cared about my writing. And you don't care about me anymore, period. You only care about being a detective.”

     I was bewildered. How could I have hurt my sister so much that she felt she had to concoct an elaborate ruse to get my attention?

     “And now that you've found Kerwin, you're just going to go right back to ignoring me,” Luvsgone said, sniffling.

     I sat on the edge of the bed. “Luvsgone, I'm sorry I made you feel that way. I know I haven't always been there for you.”

     Luvsgone folded her arms.

     “That's why I've decided to take a break from my agency.”

     Luvsgone's eyes widened. “But you love your work.”

     “And it will always be waiting for me,” I said, folding Luvsgone's baby blanket into a tidy rectangle. “But right now I want to spend time with you. The new you. The happy, creative, funny Luvsgone who I never got to know when we were growing up.”

     We hugged. I didn't let go until a clattering sound and a sudden splash of wet, cold juice onto my dress forced me to my feet. Kerwin was on top of the breakfast tray, causing mayhem. “Kerwin!” I shouted.

     The Captive Shadow Wraith stared right at me as he sunk his teeth into one of the pancakes. Just try and stop me, he seemed to be communicating.

     Luvsgone stared down Kerwin. “Don't make me put you back in the coffee canister,” she said.

     Kerwin stuck out his tongue and took another bite of the pancake.

     The End.