How Does it Work: Discarded Items

     Picture this, after a long day of world-hopping around Neopia in your Xweetok Boots of Speed, you are absolutely exhausted. You’ve hit everything from Tombola to Edna’s Quests, The Discarded Magical Blue Grundo Plushie and even grabbed some free Jelly at… oh… well, anyway, you’ve been to a lot of places. Not only are your pockets full, but your Crocheted Quiggle Crossbody bag is too, along with a giant, umber coloured burlap sack you haggled with a potato farmer to use after he finished off the potatoes making some Speckled Negg Stew. Full and overflowing, the boons of your busy day collecting dailies around Neopia are dropping all around, including on your bag of Neopoints… oops. Good thing a bag of broken Neopoints can be repaired, eh?

     There you are, sitting in literal piles of wealth and excess and you start to wonder where you are going to put all this… after all, you are an aspiring minimalist. After throwing the bulk in your shop to make a living, you are left with three Prismatic Sea Ferns, a Yellow Growth, and four Discarded Stealthy Vandagyre Plushies. Not wanting to clutter up your Neohome, but also wanting to care for the sprawling beauty of the Neopian worlds, you wander into the Quick Stock sorter and gaze down the dark tubes at your options. Should you discard? Donate? Throw it in your stuffed Safety Deposit Box for a cloudy day?

     Already having an exhaustive list of things to do with a prismatic sea fern, you decide that Neopia doesn’t need any more of these overpopulating the plant life on Rainbow Lane. You promptly, and with a little guilt, throw it down the discard shoot where it lands with a strange melody.

     Have you ever wondered what happens when you discard items?

     Not to mention names, but we have it under pretty decent authority that the items discarded are actually put to absolutely excellent use. Fret no more aspiring minimalists! Discard away- here are three ways that discarded items are given a second chance.

     1. Neopian Entrepreneurs With Limited Income Fair Enterprises (NEW LIFE)

     The Tombola Man, with his vast knowledge and wisdom started this 501C3 non-profit a long time ago! It’s little known, as he doesn’t like to brag about his accomplishments, but when asked about it, he simply mentioned that he saw a need and went into action. Friends of the Tombola Man describe him as a “little gruff around the edges,” but with a “big heart” especially for Mystery Island and the island's famous world tourist event- Gadgadsbogen! After seeing all the litter on the island after Gadgadsbogen, he saw the need to appeal for another option. That option became “NEW LIFE.”

     A portion of all items discarded are turned into new products for those new entrepreneurs in Neopia that are just starting out. A great example are the Fish in the tank at Kelp in Maraqua and a lot of the Haunted Woods Fairgrounds game tent. There is something so impressive about reusing items that have already had life and giving them new life. The fish in the Underwater Fishing Game are actually quite tame and use to a somewhat pet-life life, so being pets at Kelp was very fulfilling to them. The staff have named a few, including the Titanic Giant Squid, affectionately called Fluffy.

     2. Secret Food Growers Association

      Items that are compostable are made new via a secretive Association of Neopian Food Growers. This elusive organization is hard at work growing vast amounts of produce and goods for Neopia. Whether it’s plants like sea ferns, rich in electrolytes, or piles of dung, the compost team is so excited to turn yesterday’s… well, you know, into the food of the future! No wonder there are so many healthy and vibrant pets out there, with beautiful and sustainable sources of farming, Neopia can really thrive.

     3. Awarding Staffing Points League Of Donation Expenses (A SPLODE)

      I’m not really sure who came up with this acronym, but let's be honest, it’s a little strange, eh? Conspiracy theorists everywhere believe there is actually another undiscovered land of Neopia where magical Neopians conspire together to better run Neopia, keep it safe, and help out when necessary. Whether that’s true or not, I’ll let you sus out the truth, but just in case, the remainder of the discarded merchandise gets offered to these strange beings… just in case they are real. But if it’s not for them, where do the items dropped off go…. Jelly World is sounding more real each and every day.

     4. Kreludan Mining Corp.

           Okay, okay I’m about to get labeled the ultimate conspiracy theorist of Neopia, but another idea floating out there is that the items go to the planet core. I recently exchanged correspondence with an unnamed whistleblower from Kreludan Mining Corp that vaguely gave word of a newly discovered mineral made up of composite debris. The mineral is said to be quite complex, with multiple properties and uses. Such a mineral could change Neopian industry and really be a strong power grab for the KMC. Such a precious mineral had been thought to be formed by an extravagant amount of varied items. It sounds a lot like the variation of the countless items Neopians discard, right? I wouldn’t want to make any public accusations with certain green and nefarious power players roamining about Neopia, but there have been reports of large quantities of items going missing from the discard distribution network. I’m not saying that S750 Kreludan Defender Robot could be involved, no, that wouldn’t be wise at all, would it?

     5. The Tyrannian Homeowners Association

      This extremely particular organization is well known for their pristine dirt, polished stones, and excessive use of the phrase, “Ugga Ugg!” Lesser known to their manicured stone age type dwellings, is their protectiveness of their village and its beauty. I have it on good authority that there was a past, err, situation with a particular beast in a particular Tyrannian lair. After an appearance from the Beast, due to not having a lot of scavenging opportunities in the damp, dark cave, the Tyrannian HOA took it upon themselves to volunteer to split shifts at the Discard Distribution Network to grab any rotten or spoiled food for the beast, a delicacy for beasts all around. The extra food really helps settle the beast, protecting the livelihood of each member of the HOA. That makes everyone want to shout- “Ugga Ugg!”

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     The networks among these three groups are actually quite extensive. Impressively, Neopian Entrepreneurs With Limited Income Fair Enterprises, Secret Food Growers Association, the Tyrannian Homeowners Association and the Awarding Staffing Points League of Donation Expenses work hard taking turns sorting a monumental pile of discarded items on a rotating basis.

     So, now you know what exactly is done with discarded merchandise, just in case you needed further incentive to discard items there is an elusive site secret avatar to be found by utilizing the discard feature. The secret avatar is awarded randomly when using Quick Stock to discard items. The main feature graphic of the avatar is a heaping pile of steaming garbage, along with tossed rotten berries and opened tin cans. Who wouldn’t want this gorgeous pixel to display for the world to see?

     A word of caution when discarding items- if it seems like the item is alive, say a Magical plushie, think twice about discarding it, lest it becomes a permanent, sad little blue staple forever more handing out other discarded plushies for the rest of the history of the Neopian Universe.

     Whether you are all about that minimalist lifestyle, or would rather be closer to the hoarder spectrum, after learning all about discarded merchandise and all the good it does, how could you not want to pull up a chair at your local National Neopian Bank and sort through some of your treasures? Who knows, you might even find something you didn’t expect. Thank you very much to my many insider sources who made this article possible- I wouldn’t be here, unearthing the truth without you.