Fyora's Foul and Fancy Faerie Festival

      “The aim of this event is to fundraise Faerieland’s rebuilding efforts and help increase global awareness of the problem of technology-driven pollution, such as that caused by the burning of obsidian to fuel technological growth,” the Faerie Queen stated during a press interview. “It is my vision that Faerieland can be a leader in Neopia for green Magitech, and that Neopets will trust us and have our backs. Some of my closest associates are already working on drafting environmental legislation for other leaders in the Council to review and hopefully sign onto.” She smiled regally. “And, I hope all of us, especially all you Neopets, have some fun at the Festival this year – as the tagline goes, ‘there’s something for everyone!’”

      Indeed – as the Faerie Queen’s head of marketing, Mr Max, so aptly worded it – the festival does seem to have “something for everyone!” This year’s Faerie Festival combines elements of traditional Faerie quests, a charity drive taken straight from Granny Hopbobbin’s playbook (the Acara directly advised the Faerie Queen and received a hefty Neopoint consulting fee), and an NC Mall Sponsorship component involving releasing bottled Faeries. Nevertheless, Neopians have managed to find blunders and criticism, oftentimes well-founded, in all aspects of the Festival this year.

      In an effort to show Neopians how committed she and her inner circle are to working for Neopet-kind, Fyora has only granted the “big girl Faeries” – the Faerieland upper elite comprised of Aethia, Naia, Baelia, and herself – the authority to bless questers this Faerie Festival. Fyora has subsequently granted all “lesser” Faeries the time off to “enjoy the festival” (despite many Faeries desiring to ask Neopets for items and to bless them with skill increases in return).

      In an apparent attempt to ease the search burden on Neopets, Fyora originally asked her cohort to only request a select few items. Nevertheless, this restricted item pool allowed some “enterprising” Neopets to corner those markets and artificially inflate prices – one of the aims that various leaders in the Council of Neopian Nations have passed resolutions to prevent. As such, many Council members – despite cautious optimism regarding Fyora’s environmental initiatives – expressed their dissatisfaction at the Faerie Queen, with renewed calls for her discipline; following this backlash from other heads of nations, she eventually reversed her decision.

      Fyora was likewise criticized for her earlier decision to try to prevent questers who had abandoned quests from obtaining new ones. “If a Neopet abandons a quest, it’s because they don’t want to help us – and there’s no use in us spending our time to give them a new quest, especially considering it’s just the four of us giving quests this year,” the Faerie Queen had purportedly explained in a statement since stricken from the Hidden Tower’s official record; following swift backlash from the Neopet community, she eventually reversed her decision on this as well.

      Many Neopians compared Fyora’s original attitude to being “sudden death elimination but with Faerie Quests”, and were especially unhappy that Fyora failed to appreciate the myriad other factors besides one’s attitude that may prevent a Neopet from completing a quest. (One such factor being the oft ridiculously high cost of a requested item due to the limited request pool and aforementioned inflaters, which led to a positive feedback loop of inflation considering many Neopets did not want to be “eliminated”.)

      Furthermore, some have seen the NC Mall Sponsorship component of this year’s festival, “Free the Faeries”, as inherently problematic. “Yes, systemic injustice and Big Battledome allow Balthazar’s barbaric practice of bottling Faeries for profit to continue unabated,” commented Sabrina, a Light Faerie who was once trapped in a bottle herself. “But that’s been debated and analysed before, and anyone hoarding bottled Faeries in their Safety Deposit Boxes should be ashamed.” She folded her arms and shook her head. “Anyway, it’s one thing for a Neopet to pay some Neopoints for a bottled Faerie, to release her with the expectation of a blessing. It’s quite another to have to pay the highest and most expensive form of Neopian currency to release her and to get some exclusive wearable – ultimately frivolous, and definitely a wealth status symbol – in return. This is just another unfair step toward Faeries’ commodification, showing that working-class faeries are worth nothing more than to be bought, sold, and exchanged by wealthy Neopets. What’s going to happen to the Faeries who are leftover from this event?”

      In response to sentiments shared by Sabrina and other bottled Faerie rights advocates, Aethia and Mr Scorchopoly (the NC Mall Scorchio mascot) announced that they would entitle all Neopets to one free shot at breaking free a Faerie – so long as they redeemed their free shot within a paltry 48 hours of the announcement. “Of course, we want to free as many Faeries as possible,” stressed Mr Scorchopoly. “And we hope, too, that the excitement Neopets feel when smashing their first Faerie free will translate to more purchases and more shots at winning the Faerie-themed wearables of their dreams!”

      Aethia simply smiled and nodded, adding, “And this will give the public more shots to free Faeries, as well, of course. So if you haven’t gotten your free shot yet, remember to do so! Please!”

      Balthazar could not be reached for questioning. We presumed he had bigger Faeries to bottle.

      Despite these misgivings, there was a general excitement amongst Neopets at the prospect of a relatively high chance of receiving one of Naia’s coveted Fountain Faerie Quests. Nevertheless, for whatever prejudiced reason, there were still some Neopets the Fountain Faerie refused to bless, while Naia seemed to take a particular liking to others. According to the Chia Police, unblessed ‘Pets caused rioting and petty crimes in Faerieland to increase by 300% compared to last month. Meanwhile, other ‘Pets now have more Paintbrush clothing than they ever wanted, and live in active fear of the Return of the Fountain Faerie. This seeming power imbalance has contributed to the end of several Neopets’ various relationships.

      During a press conference, Naia claimed, “I appreciate the boost to Faerieland tourism this event is providing – Fyora really knew how to draw out the crowds – and I’m happy to play a part in it all... you know, a Neopet will come and get their quest, get healed, change their colour at my fountain, place a Poogle Racers bet, and have lunch at Faerie Foods before buying a book or some cheap home decor as a fun souvenir, and then returning home.” She later added, tenting her fingertips, that she wasn’t sure how or whether the influx of Rainbow Fountain blessings will deplete her fountain’s magic, but that “that’s a problem that I’m sure Fyora’s Army Corps of Engineers will solve during the non-peak season”.

      ***

      The charity drive component of the Faerie Festival also has “gone off without the need for a wing or a prayer”, again according to official propaganda by the Hidden Tower. However, many Neopians found many aspects of the charity drive problematic and disorganized.

      The massive decrease in the amount of donations Faerieland is willing to accept, specifically compared to the charity drives run by Granny Hopbobbin (before she semi-retired amidst a scandal involving the awarding of fake items in Y23), is a move unpopular with Neopets and Faeries alike. Neopets – especially those who have spent years “hoarding” – are dissatisfied that all their junk cannot be converted into prize shop points, and Faeries – one of the primary benefactors of this Faerieland-led initiative – are unhappy that the amount of items that could be resold to bolster Faerieland’s rebuilding effort is severely constrained. At least Fyora capitulated and raised the daily donation maximum to 30 items from her original 10 – a number that caused genuine bewilderment amongst the Faerie Festival revellers.

      Although the official statement by the Hidden Tower mentions that the maximum was set to “lessen both the grind of donating and the administrative work of assessing donations” and to “render more equitable the donation power amongst individuals who may have many items vs. those who have fewer”, this has nevertheless led to various conspiracy theories as to Fyora’s possible ulterior motives. A popular conspiracy theory is based on the Faerie Queen’s continued refusal to acknowledge the autonomy of Luxina’s New Faerieland Project – arguably a more successful rebuilding effort than Fyora’s own grounded initiatives – and that the Faerie Queen did not want to channel large sums of accrued rebuilding funds into a rogue Faerieland nation-state. Another theory attempts to implicate Fyora in Big Obsidian, suggesting her team’s proposed legislation is insufficient for tackling the environmental problems in any meaningful way, and that she could be the Faerie at “the very top” mentioned by Malkus Vile (keep reading for more information). Yet another theory purports that Fyora has been replaced by a Dr. Sloth clone bot playing dress-up, which has supposedly been the case for quite some time; Nick Neopia has taken responsibility for this idea. The lead-up to the charity drive component of the Faerie Festival also faced scrutiny.

      “I couldn’t believe that Fyora had originally permitted the donation of Hidden Tower items – especially if one of her aims was to level the playing field in terms of donations by the rich vs. the poor,” stated Mr. DeLinke, a Grey Bruce. “I mean, I guess she wanted her items back to resell? Now, it just seems like she values getting certain quest items back... or maybe she’s just on an omelette spree after that Cookbook was released. But I digress. Still... couldn’t she have made up her mind about the point values BEFORE I bought two dozen Tombola Guys from the inflaters?” DeLinke winced.

      Indeed, “special event” items including omelettes and quest prizes comprise the highest tier of point values under the gamified donations scheme. These items, prior to the event, were comparatively inexpensive and generally more ubiquitous than their rarity 90-100 counterparts. Furthermore, the Green Gacha box Neopets receive for donating the maximum number of items per day contains a random high-rarity item (taking a lesson from Atsumi, Fyora has apparently sought to declutter her rare object collection) that is often as expensive as the cost of the donated items, and some random items are worth millions of NP. These factors again raise questions as to what the Faerie Queen hopes to accomplish via this charity drive – some form of economic redistribution, strengthening Neopet-Faerie relations, or perhaps she and the other Faeries are simply really hankering for some eggy goodness.

      Regardless, since the donation part of the event has stabilised, everyday Neopets were generally content with Fyora’s established donation paradigm.

      Meanwhile, as Neopets clamoured to obtain highest-point donatables, the Giant Omelette never before was so sparse or ran out so fast after an egg was laid. Sabre-X and the Tyrannian Council of Elders decreed a 9-day period of mourning for their land’s primary food source.

      ***

      “Oh, trust me, I know about the... ‘history’ between Illusen and Jhudora,” started Fyora during her press conference addressing the duelling donation drop-offs. (Some reporters chastised the Faerie Queen for specifying Illusen before Jhudora, but Fyora reassured them it was “simply alphabetical”.) “It’s why, if you join Illusen’s team, you get a copy of her part of the Twins-BFF necklace she once made for Jhudora, and vice versa. Anyway, what’s past is past, and I believed the two Faeries had moved on from their previous relationship or lack thereof. I thought that my forcing them to work together, as the two had done on several previous occasions, for the good of the planet and the Faerie Festival would really turn all of Neopia’s focus on what we’re doing here – and that would really increase the numbers of Neopets donating!” She smiled regally. “But controversy can be beneficial as well, and donations being split between the two charity drives likewise seems to be good for participation.”

      In fact, it may be the prizes that Illusen and Jhudora are offering that is really spurring participation – but we shall return to this point later.

      Indeed, Illudora’s (un)healthy rivalry has fermented competition amongst Neopets who have factionalised into supporters of the kindhearted hippyish Earth Faerie and the infamous “evil” Dark Faerie. This has – according to Mr. Chubbix, a Faerie Tonu working as one of the Hidden Tower’s perfunctory accountants – led to “an increased number of eyeballs and donations than originally accounted for, even considering Fyora chose (Illusen and Jhudora) precisely because of their popularity with Neopet-kind.”

      “For weeks now, ever since Fyora invited me to help out this year, I’ve been mentally and physically preparing to run the charity drive,” commented Illusen at the start of the Festival, her hands balled into determined fists whilst she grinned a beam as bright as a ray of sunshine. “I’m super glad to be able to help my fellow Faeries and everyone on Neopia!” She leaned back in her quarter-sewn chair, satisfied with herself. “Happy things and good all-natural vibes – that’s all we need to fight back the pollution and restore harmony to a fragile Faerieland and an even more fragile environment. I almost feel sorry for Jhudora... it’s so obvious she won’t be able to keep up with me and my league of extraordinary environmentalists.”

      “Despite me literally having no plan, Neopets have flocked to ‘Team Jhudora’ in droves. And come on, I’m not special, I’m basically literally evil,” Jhudora scowled, attempting to maintain her outward caustic image before a slow smirk spread across her green lips. “Or at least an edgy nonconformist. Sure, my haters say ‘She’s not cool, Fyora told her to do this’ – nah, the Big Pink told me to partner with Illusen. I could have told Fyora to Fyora off, but any excuse to show Illusen that I can even come remotely close to upstaging her without lifting a perfectly manicured finger is an opportunity that I won’t just let fly by. My loyal trash minions are way better than those on the team of that goodie-goodie Earthie.” She waved her hand dismissively, flashing her bluff-green nails. “No planning on my part, I’m just doin’ my thing, but Neopians come hang out here anyway. That just goes to show how popular I am.”

      “Yes, Dark Faeries scare me, (Jhudora) more so than most,” started Baelia when asked about her presence at Jhudora’s festival. “For Fyora sakes, I’ve almost fainted in Jhudora’s presence.” She then steeled her resolve, and a tiny smile spread across her face. “So that’s why I joined Team Jhudora. I want to... try to overcome my fears. Fyora even encouraged me – that way I definitely won’t faint again when womanning the Hidden Tower Gift Shop. Also, Halloween is coming up soon, I want to be especially brave for that day.” The Grey Faerie gave a small dismissive hand wave. “And like everyone else, I had a goth phase too once upon an aeon ago.”

      “I don’t normally involve myself with the affairs of the surface world, but Kari texted me that there was just so much chaos at this year’s event and I just HAD to check it out,” said Mira through a fit of giggles. “And she was right – between Fyora’s limited quest pool, omelettes suddenly being the most sought-after commodity, and Illusen giving out her staff? I mean wow, Faeriekind has lost it!” She and Kari then went off together into Illusen’s Treehouse – the apparent draw for the Space Faerie to Team Illusen – whilst the Negg Faerie started to sing, “Kari and Mira sitting in a tree...”

      About the choice of her prize shop items, Illusen commented, “Oh I have my scroll, and my sunscreen, and even my lucky bracelet – I spent a few days handcrafting a bunch of those.” And then she smiled, barely perceptibly. “And of course, my staff. My critics have called it crazy and asked me to remove it... I knew it would be a controversial pick. Some would certainly attribute it as a flippant action towards any Neopet who successfully completed all my quests. But, upon receiving a Grass quest, I had such a moment of clarity that I knew I had to do it. It would be the perfect thing to show Neopets how serious I am about recycling, and more wielders of my staff would bring more Earth magic out into Neopia, and that would really show Mother Nature how much we care.” She grinned her characteristic wide grin, her eyes cutely closed, her head slightly tilted, and her hands clapped together. “More earth magic would do wonders to help counteract the pollution, and lend more power to the renewable energy source I’m developing!”

      In a Brightvale University special lecture delivered by Ms. Krokinole, a white Draik and weapons expert from King Skarl’s courts in Meridell, Krokinole claimed that the staff “is not really the most powerful weapon out there” given icon inflation and other Battledome weapons releases. She foresees that Illusen will use this as “an opportunity to replace her signature top item with something more powerful... and thus also guarantee a new round of questers at her Glade. It’s a brilliant strategy – if not somewhat ulterior – to revitalise her quests, even amongst those who have already completed all 50. She might lose out in terms of the cost of her staff, but she’s right that there would be a lot more Earth magic users out there, which helps her cause – and a lot of money would flow back into her Glade via her quests with a new top-tier prize.”

      “Regarding my handouts... I heard Neopets like stamps,” Jhudora elaborated. “And I had a bunch of Cloud Stamps stamps kickin’ around. It’s one of the main ingredients in Lesser Green-Streak Hair Dye Brew, and since I perfected the Greater Brew I’ve had no use for them, and my hair has never looked better, y'know. Anyway, I thought, what the hey, I’ll take a page out of Atsumi’s book and clear ‘em out. And you can nab one of my old hairbrushes, lollipops, or even one of my chokers if you’re going for my gothic chic look.” A coy smile spread across her green lips. “Lots of the rest of my prizes were old leftover potion ingredients that I just had sitting around.” She grinned mischievously. “And maybe I can sweet-talk sweet Earthie into giving me some of her staves to sell. After all, it would directly support her enviro-mental-cause,” she continued cantabile. “Or... maybe I’ll just steal a few,” she said innocently, pouting down at her fingernails.

      “Jhudora is my Bae,” muttered Mx. Lee, a White Gnorbu who joined the Dark Faerie’s team. “And getting to hang out in her general vicinity is a nightmare come true.” They smiled mischievously. “On Team Jhudora, I can be antisocial. I can scowl. I can brood. And here, my behaviour is in vogue – everyone is doing it, and no one is conforming to anything.”

      “I LOVE Illusen!” shouted Ms Anna, a Rainbow Cybunny who joined the Earth Faerie’s team. “I swear, I knew nothing about her selling her Staff when I joined her team. I just vibe with the planet, with plants, and with green. And so does everyone else here. It’s like one giant gardening convention! And there’s grass, EVERYWHERE!” She grinned wildly. “And it helps that Illusen is SUPER pretty. Ooh, look over there, a tea party is starting!”

      “I sided with Jhudora because she’s such a complex character,” said an Alien Aisha on Team Jhudora who wanted to remain nameless. “Her outward ‘evil’ and moody facade is so obviously protecting a vulnerable inner Faerie who just wants to be accepted, if not outright loved – and I love that about her. I knew I needed to live out the Festival through her voice, through hearing her commentary.” They frowned. “I do wish she’d have put a little more care into her choice of prizes, though. I’d have liked to have had access to that staff of Illusen’s, anyway.”

      “I joined Team Illusen because, for one, I DIG – geddit ‘cause plants – the aesthetic, but for two, my birthday falls on Illusen Day!” exclaimed Mr. Mikey, a Maraquan Koi. He grinned sheepishly. “But, er, don’t go coming to me for her avatar.”

      “Illusen and I go way back,” started Brynn with a smile. “I knew her when I was on the Brightvale Guard... everyone in the Tri-Kingdom area knew and loved her. She’s just so sweet, and always respected the Knights and the Guard. And it’s honourable what she’s doing for the environment. I had to choose her team.”

      “I picked Team Jhudora,” announced Hanso with a charismatic grin. “Partly because I’m a rogue and am naturally attracted to the edgy shadowy darkness of her temporary abode... but mostly to get away from Brynn for a few days.”

      ***

      Recent breaking news has linked Mr. Monty, the CEO of Moltara Obsidian Co. – one of the companies alleged to be causing Neopia’s pollution problems – to Malkus Vile, the infamous Skeith who once stole King Coltzan’s Crown. Vile has since become a major shareholder in the Collectable Coin Shop, and apparently heavily funded Monty’s latest efforts with Obsidian. In a whirlwind flurry of Big Bads, Vile was found to have hired Balthazar for Faerie cleanup duty; the Skeith is himself working under someone “from the very top” to fulfil a plan to render ill and incapacitated the faeries of the harmonious natural elements of Earth, Water, and presumably Air (the lattermost so unloved that even antagonists overlook them).

      Various players weighed in with their thoughts on this melodrama.

      “I admit,” Illusen began, “Jhudora knows how to handle her business... She was instrumental in digging up the dirt and making thinly veiled threats with her ‘bad cop’ charm, and I honestly can’t thank her enough for finding and freeing me (from Balthazar’s bottle). I didn’t want to believe it at first, that we were on the same side, but I’m slowly becoming convinced that Jhudora’s aim, like mine, is a less polluted Neopia. I suppose the two of us still have more in common than I thought.” She gave a pensive frown. “I just hope we can reverse this damage and help rejuvenate Mother Nature... and by extension improve the health and well-being of all the nature-element Faeries, myself included... I’ve felt so weak as of late. (...) If I’ve learned something from Jhudora, maybe we can’t fight all this using only ‘good all natural vibes’.”

      “I just wanted to rough someone up,” Jhudora commented with a wicked grin. “And, y'know, all the better Monty was a real greedy capitalist ecovillainous corporate type that should’ve stayed bankrupt – seriously, what’s with that guy, he couldn’t have seemed more contrived if he were literally made up just to be our adversary in all this.” She crossed her arms and shook her head. “And then with Malkus Vile...” Her expression darkened. “I am NOT the same as him. Yes, we may both be on the fringes, call us outcasts, dissidents, individuals who ‘look out for number one’... but he does it for financial and political gain and isn’t concerned about trampling over anyone. Nothing but an elitist opportunist he is. I’m not so nearly as reckless or unsympathetic – dare I say, my perfectly manicured fingernail has more principle than that Skeith.” She formed a slow, wry smile. “I’m anti the destruction of the planet, obviously, but honestly, it didn’t matter to me that this cause just happens to be Illusen’s baby and that the pollution was literally killing her softly... Honestly, no care to me.” She folded her arms across her chest. “Pshaw, I’m not helping Illusen because I like, like her or something. She’s sooooo preachy. I owed Balthazar some revenge, and Illusen and I... well, let’s say we’re even now.”

      “I swear I’m innocent, I’m the good guy here!” Monty asserted through his “everything’s bigger in Goldrun” accent. He has since been brought under custody and is being further questioned. “Our modern world would be nothing without tech, and tech would be nothing without obsidian!” The Vandagyre shook his fist. “You’ll see, just wait until Aesop finishes writing my redemption arc!”

      Malkus Vile sent us a statement saying we would have to contact his lawyers.

      Naia and Marina, who during the festival appeared generally healthy, later claimed they had “a mild headache” and “vague impure thoughts”, respectively. Whether the Earth element was just impacted more than Water, or whether they fictionalized symptoms after the fact in case of a future class action or other monetary compensation, is anyone’s bet.

      ***

      To say this year’s Faerie Festival has been interesting would be a severe understatement. Amidst controversy in all facets of the event – the questing portion, the NC Sponsorship, and the charity drive – Neopians are questioning the Faerie Queen from her motives to her competency.

      Nevertheless, the “very top” Faerie Fyora does seem to have a tight grip on the Faerie Festival situation. At least until, for whatever reason, Fyora closed the questing portion 2 days early, Neopets generally seemed to be bemusedly enjoying the event – for both the rewards and the drama. Pollution may be foul, but it cannot be argued that Fyora has put on quite the spectacle – in all connotations of the word.

      It remains to be seen whether there will be any meaningful impact on either Faerieland, Neopia’s pollution problem and the affected Faeries. We hope to continue to provide updates as the situation continues to unfold.