The Not-So-Great Parts of Neopia

HELP SECTION - We’ve all clicked on the little button in the yellow tool bar on the left hand side of the screen labeled “Explore,” right? I mean, it’s really hard to resist. All in all, there are ten places you can visit in Neopia (not counting Neopia Central and the mini islands). In all these worlds you can find petpets, games, and some even have their own paint brush! I know! What else could someone ask for, right? Heeheehee… WRONG!!

This lovely brunette called Bubbles went on a search to find out where all those other worlds went that never quite made it to the map. So Binky the Little Slorg and I started our quest to find where all those other worlds went.

Our search led us to the mother of all helpers: Sarah the Zafara. The blue Zafara peered over her very large glasses as we entered the Help section of Neopets. “Hi,” I said.

“Hi,” said Sarah. “How can I help you?” She offered a kind smile as Binky and I approached her.

“Well, I’m working on a Neopian Times article about the worlds that never did make it. I know there must be some, but where did they all go? What happened to them?”

“Oooooh…” said Sarah grinning broadly. She pulled a piece of paper out of her desk drawer and handed it to me. “Here. This should help you.”

As I stared at it, I noticed it was a list of all the not-so-great worlds that didn’t make it past the drawing board. And I, Bubbles, being the kind-hearted person that I am, have decided to share this list with you!

Jelly World: I for one think that this would be a great addition to the lists of worlds in Neopia!! Everything is made of jelly! Wait. What? It already exists? Pfffft! That’s ridiculous…

Down-For-Maintenance World: The worst place ever created or thought of by any living (or non-living, for that matter) creature! Here, the Neopets site is always down and no one ever gets NPs for playing games!

Other Side of Neopia World: The place everyone tries to find, regardless of the fact that you can see it by looking at the back of your monitor!

Dung World: This place isn’t too popular with tourists, no matter what season it is! I wonder why…

Invisible Land: Ah! Where’d it go?!

The Realm of Chain Letters: dis reely werks! Go 2 dis relm 10 times nd u wil find 10 pntbrshs nd al da codstns!! wurkd 4 evry1 so fasr!! dis iz a reel neoptes code!!!11!

Dating Land: Everyone here needs a “gf” or “bf” really badly, even though they can’t actually see them!!

Reality: You can’t buy Chokatos for your pets, make them fight in a Battledome, you don’t get money from playing games, no guilds, no restocking, no magical faeries that bless your pets, no Slorgs, no Veespas, and no way to paint your pets Snot! Man. That place doesn’t sound very fun…

Speeding Island: The island that is always moving around Neopia at 150 miles per hour. It is difficult to find and incredibly hard to get on, especially without falling back off or getting sick. Shops included here are Fast Food and Shoe Shop.

Asparagus Village: The place where Asparagus runs ramped and all is green and good with butter! It is hard, however, to keep a certain person called Adam Powell out of the fields, however. If you see him, please throw tea cups at him!!

Chokato Plateau: The absolute greatest place ever!! The skies are green and blue and brown, and everything comes in an assortment of styles such as Cybunny cakes, trifle, Chia balloons, and Ghostkersandwiches.

Sketchidell: Hold on… I can… almost… make something out…

Greytopia: *sigh* Is everything okay with you? No? Oh… *sigh* *droop*

Royal World: This be a very special realm, m’lord. For at this place, ye can tell thine own pet’s genders apart!

Land of the Peoplewhoignoredwhattheirparentstoldthemandspatintothewind: Mucus. Lots and lots of mucus.

Island of the Frozen Account: This is a desolate island where NPs sit stagnant, pets starve, and trophies rust. This would be a bad place to go… *shivers*

L337 Palace: 73|-| P14(3 W|-|3R3 3V3RY0N3 5P34K5 0N1Y IN 1337 4N|) 411 4R3 (0MPR3|-|3N|)4B13 (0NV3R547I0N I5 INF357IM41.

I looked back at Sarah the Zafara and smiled. “This was an amazing help! Thank you so much. Writing my article should be a breeze now!” I folded the list back up and placed it carefully into the pocket of my Bubble Wand Blue Raincoat.

“I was more than happy to help you, Bubbles. That’s why I am here: to answer the questions of good, rule-following citizens like yourself. Keep writing! I enjoy reading them.”

“Look!” Binky the Little Slorg exclaimed. “You’re blushing, Bubbles!!”

“Am not,” I muttered as I scooped up Binky and headed for the door. “Thanks again,” I called as I walked back into the fresh air of Neopia Central. I took the list out once more and glanced over it again. “You know what, Binky?”

“What is it, Bubbles?” Binky asked me inquisitively. “Is something wrong with the list? Is it counterfeit? Is the ink on it smudged? Is the handwriting illegible? Is—“

“BINKY!! Sh!” I rolled my eyes before continuing. “No, it’s none of that. Remember once, when we bumped into Snowflake when we went into the Healthy Food Shop?”

“Of course I remember,” Binky said as a dreamy look came over his tiny eyes. “She’s so pretty… Do you think if I asked her to marry me she’d accept?!”

“Anyway,” I continued, ignoring my little Slorg friend, “Do you think she’d be there again? It would be much faster than using the submission form to get this article published!”

“Wait, don’t you have to write the article first?” asked the very confused Binky.

“I’ve already written it, you dolt! Why do you think everything has quotation marks around it?”

“Oh… Hi Mom!!”

Well, there you have it, folks. A list of the worlds that didn’t quite make it past the drawing board during a Neopets’ faculty meeting. Just remember, what ever I showed you may still exist… You just have to look for it yourself.

{{Author’s Note: Thanks to laugh_guy, extreme_fjord, paradiseice, Blubbeh, Erileen, and especially cloudy__skyes for awesome help with ideas! Also, a huge thanks to my friend konpaku110 for help with l337 translations. Another thank you to all my neofriends for supporting me throughout this process, my guild, and NTWF! If you’re reading this, then it means my second Neopian Times Submission has been published! Neomails always welcome!}}