“Meep mip meep, meep meep meep.”

“You are a Magaral, correct?”

“Meep meep mip mip.”

“And you’re painted Island I see,”

“Mip mip meep mip meep.”

“Oh but before then you were painted Pirate, isn’t that interesting! Why the change?”

“Mip mip mip meep.”

“To better match your owner, I see. Well it’s a good look for you, if you don’t mind me saying.”

“Meep mip.”

“You’re quite welcome! And I see you brought along a little friend, hmmm?”

“Mip mip meep meep.”

“Nice to meet you, Freckle the Fleaf. How old are you, Neal?”

“Meep mip mip meep meep.”

“One-hundred and one thousand, seven-hundred ninety hours, or four-thousand two hundred forty-one days, or eleven years old: my, don’t you have quite the head for numbers!”

“Mip mip.”

“Very impressive, yes. I see here you’ve never been zapped by the lab ray, and have no plans to ever do so in the future. Do you have any regrets about that?”

“Meep meep meep mip mip meep mip meep mip mip mip.”

“An interesting take. The zapped petpets I interview are typically split on how they feel towards the lab ray, it’s quite a matter of contention.”

“Mip mip meep meep mip mip.”

“Of course, now that you have Freckle to worry about I see why the lab ray would be much less appealing. Are you hoping to someday win the Petpet Protection League’s weekly award?”

“Mip meep mip meep meep mip mip meep meep mip.”

“Haha yes, I suppose we all do. Now, onto the heart of the matter: why should we consider you for the Petpet Spotlight?”

“Meep meep mip meep mip.”

“Well, the majority of our applicants are very snuggly-wuggly, so that’s not much of a ‘wow’ factor, you understand. What else?”

“Mip mip meep mip.”

“Hmm yes I did greatly appreciate the cleanliness of your application, I can’t begin to tell you how many come across my desk trailing mud and gunk... ugh, so frustrating! But, you must understand, we’re really only interested in petpets who are truly exceptional, those who stand above the rest-”

“Meep meep mip meep mip mip mip mip meep meep meep mip mip mip meep meep mip meep mipmip meep meep meep meep mip mip mip meep mip mip meep mip mip meep meep meep meep meep meep meep mip meep mipmip meeeeeeeeeeeeeep!”

“Goodness yes, saving your owner’s life from a storm of booby-traps in a dramatic display of pyrotechnical brilliance during a hunt-gone-awry for the sacred lost treasure in the secret tomb of the First Grand Bogen certainly counts as exceptional! Why didn’t you say so to begin with? I think that concludes this interview, we’ll contact you in two to three business days with our response. Any questions?”

“Meep meep.”