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Pet Name: Kirrine, Branstonne, Aronndale, and Reyaire
Owner: hakiri9
Breed: Lupe, Eyrie, Kau, Peophin

In my humble opinion, the four most destructive creatures ever to inhabit Neopia are not Dr. Sloth, his minions, the Monoceraptor, and the Pant Devil, but actually my four deceptive Neopets. Yes, the truth comes out at last.

The typical day at my household starts at the crack of dawn. To be precise, the day starts at exactly 3:42 AM. Aronndale the future Battledome champion seems to believe that an iron will and strong self-discipline will ensure success. Unfortunately for the rest of us, he seems to believe that rising at inhuman hours is the perfect exercise for perfecting self-discipline. His padding around the house on 'quiet' Lupe paws causes a chain reaction to rival that of a nuclear bomb. Kirrine, the oldest, begins to toss, turn, moan, and grumble rather loudly in her sleep. Reyaire, the youngest, is awakened by this and, being a notoriously light sleeper, wakes up and immediately begins complaining that her sister is robbing her of her 'beauty sleep.' Not even a month old and already concerned about her looks! Children these days!

Reyaire has a habit of complaining loudly. Kirrine has a habit of arguing vehemently when she is angered. Reyaire is able to anger her sister at the tip of a hat. Soon, the two are causing such a racket that their brother Branstonne is awakened, too. Snarling and muttering curses, and shooting murderous looks in the direction of his sister's rooms, he begins to approach their door in his full morning splendor. I daresay Branstonne looks quite a sight, with his fiery fur and feathers pointed this way and that, scarlet eyes flashing and claws fully unsheathed, 128 pounds of deathly sister-mauling machine. Nothing too violent happens, although a pillow fight usually ensues. Because Branstonne has unsheathed his claws, by the time I reach the room to survey the damage, the floor, bed, dresser, and all 3 pets are covered head to toe in large white feathers.

Breakfast is at five o'clock. This supposedly leaves enough time for Reyaire to take a long steaming hot bubble bath, air dry her fur, brush and curl and braid her tresses, apply 5 different perfumes, put on jewelry, and gaze into the mirror. The girl is worse than a Uni! Aronndale is meditating and can only be persuaded to come out with a Chocolate Chia. Branstonne is furiously scribbling, attempting to finish his ten page long essay. Kirrine is reading and cannot be persuaded to do anything else. As I hurriedly clear the table, wipes the counters and begin the arduous task of washing dishes, everything seems too remarkably at peace.

Ha. As if that were possible at my household. It seems that Branstonne has just swiped Reyaire's makeup kit and brush and is about to flush it down the toilet. Important lesson: never provoke a Peophin. There is a deafening screech, several loud crashes, and the sound of scrabbling claws and galloping hooves. Branstonne near tumbles down the stairs, hairbrush and makeup kit clutched in his beak, a gleeful smile pasted on his face. I roll my eyes and decide to watch the action unfold. The back door opens, letting in a blast of freezing cold air (we live on Terror Mountain), though Kirrine still sits reading, apparently unfazed. Reyaire stops at the door, makeup half done, waving her hoof and booming, "You dirty animal! Your mother was a vulture and your father was a sorry relative of Punchbag Bob! You�come back here or I'll tear you to pieces, whether you've beaten the Chia Clown 15 times already or not!!" I can see that Branstonne is beginning to show signs of hypothermia and that he has stopped his 'victory dance' out on the snow. I decide to intervene.
"Branstonne! You come back here this instant or there'll be no more treats for you in the future. It'll be all Tombola food for you, young man!" Grudgingly (and surprisingly) he listens and trudges in, head down, sopping wet and freezing cold. Once he enters the house, he shakes like an overgrown pet dog, spraying everyone and the kitchen with melted, muddy slush. One rather large chunk lands on Kirrine. She picks it up, glares daggers at her brother, and clomps angrily off. I suppose the morning's pillow fight must have been enough for her. I fix my angriest look at Branstonne and Reyaire. They gulp, exchange glances, and stare at me with large puppy eyes. I think it's the quivering bottom lip that gets me. They know it and so do I. I was planning to ground them for the rest of the month for ruining my new white kitchen sparkling with new appliances, but� "Now, look here you two, I want no more of this�you shall spend the rest of today cleaning this kitchen up�and�and I�now stop that you two, you know that won't get you anywhere- Mommy's going shopping and she won't be back till one. This kitchen better be sparkling clean or else. And you may not ask for help from Kirrine, either. Don't bother your sister. Lunch is in the fridge. If you're good I'll visit the chocolate factory."

After a morning of SHOPPING (!!!FUN!!!) and cursing at the stupid shopkeeper for being sold out so quickly�ahem�I come home with a faerie to sell, some milk, health food, a book, and an omelette, I find the house in its usual slightly messy state (I swear someday I'll do spring cleaning), unusually quiet. Not a sound to be heard, not even a mouse. The kitchen has been cleaned, I notice, as I drop groceries on the table, but not a Neopet in sight. Suddenly, from the general direction of the dining room, all four of my Neopets; Branstonne, Reyaire, Kirrine and Aronndale leap out at me and nearly give me a heart attack. I scream and almost faint, dropping the faerie onto the tiled kitchen floor. Fortunately, the corked bottle doesn't break (whew! That'd be 3,000 np down the drain!). My respective pets give me innocent glances.

"Mommy, we want to apologize for this morning. We�er�we�" Branstonne trails off, before being nudged sharply in the ribs by Reyaire. "What the nitwit is trying to say is that we're sorry and we�we love ya, Mom." She finishes grandly. They smile. And I smile too, harried and exhausted but the happiest owner in the world. Maybe this is why I have four Neopets. Four times the love, no?

PS: I'd like to thank my awesome friends�you know who you are�for providing me with sane bits of advice and a laugh or two (or three, or four�) along the way. Thank you much, guys!

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