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NEOPIA CENTRAL -
Simsman24000: Howdy, friends! Today I had a rather… interesting interview
with one Samrin the Kacheek. You may know him from Extreme Herder, the game
with the homicidal Lupe, Balthazar. Well, this is the first in a series of interviews
having to do with the game. Next week, make sure you look for Balthazar's side
of the story, and then the week after, you'll discover the horrible plight of
the PetPets that Samrin owns. But this week, it's an exclusive interview with
the blue Kacheek that's famous for picking up PetPets and putting them inside
a pen… wow, how amazing. Anyway, I brought along my faithful Baby Ixi, Stoned_dude
(she, supposed to be he, used to be a Stone Fuzi-I mean, Kyrii… yes, Kyrii…)
with me to Samrin's Garden… here's what happened…
Stoned_dude: Samrin's Garden… a beautiful place… Pteris chirp, Flotsams swim,
PetPets get eaten…I wanna go!
SM: C'mon, Stone-you said you'd stay the ENTIRE time, unlike last week…
SD: Hey! That stupid Usul was trying to put lipstick on me!
SM: It was the Grooming Parlor! You ASKED for it when you insisted on going
to interview her!
SD: Well, I may be a girl, but I'm a tom-girl…. um, boy… um, tomboy… oh, let's
just go ask him questions and get home. I'm hungry.
SM: Would you like a cookie? Perhaps a small parade?
SD: No, thanks, a cookie will be enough.
SM: Um, yeah…
Samrin: Tra la la la la la, I have a hunch! I'll save 10 PetPets before I
eat lunch!
SD: What is that?
SM: I think it's a song.
S: Of course it's a song that I am bringing! We Kacheeks never stop singing!
SM: Apparently not.
SD: You don't happen to be related to Gedda Happycheek, do you?
S: Of course not, silly, not myself! Like I'd be related to a stupid elf?
SD: You act the same…
SM: Stone! Excuse me, but is your name Samrin?
S: Yup yup, I say, you clumsy geek, I am the Samrin, the happy Kacheek!
SD: And I'm about to scream if you sing any more.
S: Well, you could have asked nicely.
SD: OK, fine… can you PLEASE stop your annoying chants?
S: Dude……I already stopped.
SD: Oh, great, he's a surfer too…
SM: Samrin, I'm here to interview you for an article in the Background Voices
of Neopia series-are you willing to do it?
S: Oh, absolutely!
SM: OK, first question-why don't you move your PetPets to another field? I
mean, one that Balthazar won't try to attack!
S: Do you know how hard that would be to move 500 PetPets over a hill?
SD: How did you even get so many PetPets?
S: Let's just say I've been banned from restocks for a year.
SM: Wow, rapid fire answers-great! Boxers or briefs?
S: Boxing is a stupid sport, and the New Features is enough for me. Next question.
SD: Um, OK… have you ever thought of filing a law suit against Balthazar?
S: Seeing how the Supreme Judge of Neopia is a Chia… no.
SD: But it's your dignity at stake! Not to mention those poor PetPets!
S: Hey, you don't see me suing the thousands of people who feed Florg every
day! I'm a PPRA, but I don't take things THAT far!
SM: PPRA?
S: Self-founded company. PetPet Rights Activist.
SM: Any other members?
S: Just me and a Uni… but I think she's only in it for the free food.
SM: Now, you're 16… isn't that a little young to be featured in your very
own game?
S: Lisha's in a stinkin' plot and she's, like, 4!
SM: Touché.
SD: Don't you have any more PetPets than Doglefoxes, Angelpi, Noils, and Babaas?
S: Does it look like I do?
SD: Wow, witty comeback.
S: Excuse me, but can you get your Ixi out of here? I'm afraid his ugliness
might be contagious.
SD: Oh, I'm sorry that you can't have looks as good as mine. Oh, that's right!
You're too busy GETTING EATEN!
S: Oh, that hurts coming from someone with a bib permanently attached to his
neck!
SD: And the giant ball of fur strikes back.
SM: Hey, hey, stop it! Samrin, you shouldn't be mean to a little Ixi. And
Stone-
SD: Yes?
SM: Your jokes just stink.
S: BEAT DOWN!
SM: OK, Samrin, last question-if you could be any pet besides a Kacheek, what
species would you be?
S: Probably a Chia.
SD: Oh, Lupe prey-great choice!
S: Listen, you-your stupid little pebble has gone far enough. I'm done. NO
MORE INTERVIEWS. Ever.
SM: OK, OK, jeez… sor-ry!
SM: And thus, our strange interview came to a halt, with Samrin running off
and getting eaten for the umpteenth time. I bid all of you good day until next
time… Good day!
SD: Did he just call me a pebble?
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