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Yes, unsuspecting Neopians! Stoneman3x has returned with yet another Neopinglish
Dictionary. Hopefully, but highly unlikely, you have read "A
Neopinglish Dictionary", "More
For Your Neopinglish Dictionary", "Even
MORE For Your Neopinglish Dictionary", and "Way
Too Much For Your Neopinglish Dictionary". If you haven't, and trust me--
you haven't missed much if you haven't, you're probably wondering what Neopinglish
is. Neopinglish is a strange yet wonderful language that exists nowhere else in
the world but here. If you are having trouble understanding what certain Neopian
words and phrases mean, you have come to the wrong place for aid. My Neopinglish
Dictionary won't help you a bit. But you can go ahead and read it anyway.
DEFINITIONS
Avatar: A tiny little picture that you can use as your personal icon
on the Neopets chatboards to show everyone that you are so totally obsessed
with tiny little pictures on the Neopets chatboards that you are willing to
buy two dozen orange Chia pops to get one.
Blog: A cool little picture box you can put in your shop. The name
comes from what people say when they visit your shop and wait ten minutes for
it to load-- "Oh, *Bleep* this Lousy Overused Garbage!"
Boochi: A cute widdle Bruce that, with a single zap, can make a full-grown
human cry like a baby, especially if they have a Darigan-painted Neopet.
Breathe: A book, although it is also a very good suggestion.
Eo Codestone: A mystical object. It's mystical because no one can figure
out why there is a picture of a guy doing jumping jacks on it.
Glass Roses: Vase-like flowers that you can put in your Neogarden as
opposed to just plain "Flowers" which are a flowers in a vase that you can't
put anywhere-- not even in your NeoHome.
Item Box: A place where you can keep your 100 Dubloon coins so that
the Pant Devil can find them more easily.
Keno: A gambling game in Tyrannia in which you pay zillions of Neopoints
to watch an egg hatch. The Meridell version of this game is called "Draik Nest".
KENO stands for "Keeps Every Neopoint you Own."
Kiko Lake:
A world where you can see how the soggy half of Neopia lives by taking a tour
in a glass bottom boat. Hurry and take the tour now while it's free because
now that the Tiki Tour Guide is back from his unusual vacation, he'll probably
explain to all those Kikos that they should be charging for it.
Kreludor: A big white ball that can only be found in the "Deserted
Fairground" and seems to have an odd effect once a month on Halloween
Lupes.
Lair of the Beast: Any location where you are forced to play Neopets
with a prehistoric Windows 95 computer monstrosity... like my bedroom, for example.
LDPBSTSCC: An actual collectible card that stands for "Lost Desert
Paint Brush Stamp T-shirt Collectable Card". It is the perfect gallery item
for people too cheap to upgrade to more than a size 2 shop. It also proves that
there are people in Neopia that are not only exquisitely bored but are vastly
more odd than I am.
Lost Desert Calculator: The only page on Neopets where you can scroll
down to see a real live ancient artifact. It's the word "groovy".
Lost Soul: A collectible card honoring anyone who is still HERE.
Lucky Die: An object that can't be very lucky if you only have one.
Obviously you've already lost the other one since dice come in pairs.
Magic Smelly Socks: These things are magic because Neopia is the only
place in the universe that considers smelly socks to be medicine and not a deadly
form of air pollution.
Meepit Lamp: A spiffy (see "Spiffy") piece of Spooky
Furniture that is actually less spooky than the Petpet itself.
Month of Hunting: The Neopian equivalent of "May", but for some strange
reason seemed to occur in October this year on Mystery Island.
MSPP: They say this stands for "Malevolent Sentient Poogle Plushie".
What it really stands for is "Mondays the Staff is Pretty Peculiar". But for
those of you that don't have a REAL dictionary handy, a "Malevolent Sentient
Poogle Plushie" is an "evil living Poogle stuffed animal". In other words, it's
a sort of demonically possessed toy and it exists because there aren't enough
scary things wandering Neopia, so we really need to be terrified of our Safety
Deposit Box.
Mystery of the Volcano: A game in which you had to do a dozen complicated
things in order to trap a Moltenore in a volcano, despite the fact that a Moltenore
can be easily trapped forever just by putting it in the Trading Post. Unfortunately,
what you should do with the really pointless avatar you got as a prize for solving
the mystery is STILL an unsolved mystery.
Neopian Gift Shop: Identical to the Tiki Tack Shop on Mystery Island,
which means you have a choice of two places to buy totally worthless items you
can't use for anything instead of just one place.
Neoschool: A really cool opportunity for your Neopets to learn. What
they apparently learn is extreme patience since they have been waiting a year
for it to open. They also learn things like a Geography Set is a "gift" and
not a school supply despite the fact that only your grandmother would think
that something like that makes a good gift.
News Page: A place where the Neopets Team announces major events like
breaking a gigabit in website traffic for the first time. These news flashes
are usually accompanied by another notice that says "Down For Maintenance" because
they have to fix the gigabit they broke.
Price Change Board: A noticeboard in Neopia Central that is used to
advertise the fact that the Neopets prices for things have absolutely nothing
in common with the Shop Wizard prizes for things.
Quick Stock: Any stock that you can buy from the Neopian Stock Market
that will make lots of Neopoints quickly. Quickly disappear, that is.
Quiguki: Also known as the "Revenge on the Evil Spread of Usuki" doll.
Snowy Valley High: An example of the dynamic "reverse learning" Neoschool
system in which Neopets go to High School first, and then progress backwards
through Elementary School. Which explains why Snowy Valley High has existed
for years and Neoschool hasn't even been built yet. According to the Neopedia,
your pet must be at least a Level 10 to enroll and the Teacher/Student Ratio
is 15:1. If I understand that right, that means there are 15 teachers for every
student. Obviously another example of how the "reverse" Neopian school system
works.
Soup Faerie: The house drudge version of a Faerie. While all of the
other faeries get interesting careers, Gingerella is in charge of cooking, dirty
dishes and designing clothes for the Grey
Faerie. Her stepmother's name is Fyora and her evil stepsisters are
Jhudora and Chokato Plushie.
Spiffy: Since someone once asked if there was a Neopets dictionary
in which to look up this word and the answer was "no", I have great news for
you. You now have a Neopets dictionary in which to look up this word.
Spooky Marketplace: It is called the "Spooky Marketplace" because anyone
who would click on a thousand random shops looking for an item they can find
instantly using the Shop Wizard is one extremely spooky individual.
Storytelling Contest: A fun game in which a person can join others
in writing terrifying plots, encounters with shady characters and facing deadly
pitfalls. Also known as the "Newbie Chatboard".
TCG: This stands for "The Card Game". TCG cards are collectible cards
featuring famous Neopet characters that you can put in your Neopets album. This
is completely different from the Collectible Cards featuring famous Neopet characters
that you can put in your Neopets album because Collectible Cards can actually
be collected and TCG cards only exist in Neopets Staff tournaments. Hint: There
is no such thing as an ultra rare TCG card. The whole freaking deck is ultra
rare.
Test Your Strength: A game where your parents offer you 20 real dollars
to stop playing Neopets for a whole week and study for your math exam instead.
The Esophagor: This is really an anagram for "he's earth goop". Which
pretty much says it all.
Volcano Run: An extremely brief game that lasted ten minutes and involved
65,000 people trying to buy a Magic Tiki Mask at the same time for 99,999 Neopoints.
See "Mystery of the Volcano".
Warehouse of the Lost Plushies: A game that someone with more than
15 pages in their Safety Deposit Box gets to play.
White Weewoo: Don't be silly! There's no such thing! Which means it's
the Jelly World of Petpets.
Wizards Shop: An odd place in the Neopian Bazaar that is hard to explain.
If it were something like your TCG Album, for example, it would be called "Your
TCG Album". And if it was, for example, a TCG shop, it would actually sell Neopets
Trading Card Game cards there. So the Wizards Shop is-- apparently-- a shop
where wizards are sold.
Wock Til You Drop Album: A record you can get as a souvenir for attending
a concert featuring a band of pets from the ancient, prehistoric land of Tyrannia.
This makes a wonderful souvenir because albums are already ancient, prehistoric
items.
World Page: A place where you can go to find out what is coming to
Neopets sometime in the 21st Century. Here is an example of something coming
in the future-- "Brynner, The YULLIELAND Faerie":
This is the end of this addition to the Neopinglish Dictionary; a list of
wild, wacky, wonderful terms that you can only find here on Neopets. Because,
let's face it, only Neopets is wild, wacky and wonderful enough to let me write
a bizarre dictionary like this in the first place.
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