Paintbrush Epidemic

by twistedcitrus (TC)

“Ah hem. May I please have your attention?”

Room settles and is quiet. A rather large crowd has gathered to discuss the issue of overpriced and underpriced paintbrushes.

“Thank-you. It has come to my attention that there is a serious problem concerning Neopian Paintbrushes. As a proud owner of a rather spoilt spilt Aisha I realize how wonderful it is to have a painted pet.” She smiles brightly at a scowling Aisha on the first row.

“However… It would seem that these paintbrushes are in quite a conundrum.”

“Speak English mom!” Stormbreather her Aisha hisses, as he slouches in his seat.

“Hmm…? Oh… Um… what I meant was we have a serious problem.” She shuffles her notes. “You see there are those of us who have what I call ‘Lesser Paintbrushes’ You know the ones that you can get for a couple thousand Neopoints. I have two a Speckled and a Strawberry Fields Forever. Now half the problem with these brushes is not the price, but the fact not many pets can be painted these colours.”

The audience nods and claps in agreement.

“Oh and whatever happened to that unicorn paintbrush?” She asks scowling. “Oh wait never mind…”

“Anyway… The fact that some pets would look lovely as a speckled of spotted or what have you is very sad simply because you cannot paint them that colour. I mean I would have loved to have a fire Lupe… No offense Stormy… But the fire paintbrush is an exclusive brush… One of the many that we little people cannot afford…”

“I hear ya!” Someone shouts from the crowd. “Faerie paintbrushes is the worst to get a hold of…”

TC looks menacingly at the speaker, and they sit down. “Of course, but with a market value of 50,000 NPs they are expensive anyway… However the real problem lies with the fact that while I could not afford a fire paintbrush, I could afford a Shadowed Paintbrush, however Lupes do not come in that colour, or silver for that matter…” She scowls as she looks at her notes. “Where was I?”

Stormbreather rolls his eyes, and mutters. “I don’t want to be silver.”

“Course not dear, it simply does not suit your personality.” She says as she reshuffles her papers. “That brings us to Morphing potions and magic toys….”

“They’re just as hard to get…” Someone speaks up.

“True…”

“And besides, I can go to the lab ray and change my pet…”

“Yes but you have to have all the map pieces…” TC replies.

“Yeah I heard it changes the gender of your pet though!” One man with a suddenly frightened Cybunny said.

“I don’t wanna be a boy!” The Cybunny wails hiding her head in his arms.

“Sheesh…” Stormbreather mutters. “Girls.”

“That’s quite enough young man.” TC glares at Stormbreather. “Listen if you don’t want your pet to change…”

“And what about those trans… Transmogrification… whatever Dr. Sloth’s been giving out?” One girl stood up angry, a Kacheek and Kiko sitting next to her.

“My advice would be don’t use them…” TC sighs dryly.

“I accidentally let my pet play with a magical blue Meerca plushie…” A young girl wails, holding a sobbing Meerca. “She used to be a gold Aisha!”

“Oh bother….” TC shakes her head. “Warning labels…” She says as she writes on her notes.

“I wanted a silver Kougra, but the magical toy was way out of my league…”

“But I wanted a Faerie brush not a checkered!” A small Usul starts to cry.

“What good are checkered paint brushes anyway?” Her angry owner demands.

“ENOUGH!”

Dead silence.

TC glares at the crowd. “Checkered brushes are very nice. I happen to have a friend with two checkered Gelerts. Kyriis look nice checkered also… But that’s the point.” She runs a hand through her hair. “Chomby’s Aisha’s and several other pets would look nice in a checkered coat… However…”

“Here we go again…” Stormbreather sighs, as he munches on some Neodrops.

“However…” She takes a deep breath. “They do not come in those colours!”

“So? What do you want us to do?” Someone shouts.

“I want a Faerie paintbrush did you know I saw 13 in ONE shop!” A girl says angrily to another. “How did they get 13?”

“White is just as hard to find…”

“Try getting a striped…”

“Nope Paintbrush of the stars…. That’s rare!”

TC lets her head drop on the podium, as she suddenly realizes that she has lost control over the gathering. The sound of angry despairing voices buzzes through her head like a swarm of angry buzzers.

“Why me?” She asks banging her head on the podium.

“Hey mom, it could have been worse…” Stormbreather says as he hugs her.

“Oh yeah how?” She looks at him with disbelief.

“I could’ve been a Faerie Aisha!” He grins cheekily.

“Uh huh. That would have gone over real well at this meeting.” She looks around chuckling. Sweeping him up into her arms she races for a back exit.

“Let's get out of here before the fruit starts flying…”

“Uh mom…” Stormbreather sighs. “I think you need a vacation.”

She hugs him as they disappear into the crowded streets of Neopia.

The End