The Ixi of Doom Hits the Ground Running

     Mr. Bronston disliked young Pets, old Pets, and for some reason, chalk. So it was really anyone's guess as to why he selected a profession that involved young Pets, old Pets and large quantities of chalk. The pay certainly wasn't very good.

     But as the old adage goes; those who can't do, teach. So that is exactly what Mr. Bronston did.

     There was one class that the Draik enjoyed instructing, though. That class was physical education. He liked to teach P.E because it was the one course during which he got to yell and scream and generally insult his students as much as he wanted without fear of being fired. So, at the moment, Mr. Bronston was feeling quite happy.

     The Draik glanced back at his students. About twenty Pets were trundling after him in a nice, orderly single-file line, all of them dressed in appropriate gym attire, complete with bottles of fresh water. Mr. Bronston chuckled. Today was his favorite day of the whole year. Today was the day of the six-lap run.

     Actually, the real six lap was next week. Today he was having the Pets do a practice run, just to see where they all stood in terms of speed and endurance. The Draik gestured to his students with his finely sharpened claws.

     "Line up, you little weaklings! Today we're doing the practice six lap, so I want to see some sweat!"

     The Pets stopped walking and assembled themselves in front of their teacher. One of them, a Halloween Ixi, was looking less than thrilled to be at the track. The Ixi, (who was called Zarrelian) was currently filling the position of being the bane of Mr. Bronston's existence. There had been a mutual animosity between the two from the very first day of class, and it hadn't let up in the slightest the past six months. Zarrelian eyed the track warily. It seemed to get bigger every year.

     As an Ixi, Zarrelian was not terribly adept at running long distances at a very fast pace. He could do little sprints fairly well, but anything longer than ten meters or so was practically impossible. The six-lap run, in its entirety, came close to three miles. He turned towards Mr. Bronston and registered a look of deepest contempt on his oversized face. Mr. Bronston didn't notice the Ixi's venomous glare and continued with his little speech.

     "Now, you're going to go in two groups. The first group will have Pets whose owners have names that start with A to..." He glanced at his attendance list. "...L. Then the rest of you will go." The Draik jerked his head irately at the students.

     "Well? What are you waiting for? Get to the track!" he shouted. The Pets in group one grumbled a bit as they trotted over to the starting line. Zarrelian gulped, nervously eyeing the other students in his heat. They were all quite a bit bigger than him, with longer legs and stronger muscles. One Pet stood out in particular, a brawny orange Lupe who Zarrelian recognized as Atyur. He had been on the school's Neosoccer team and had led them to victory. Atyur didn't look at all nervous. On the contrary, he carried himself with an air of confidence and excitement. Zarrelian snorted, tensing his muscles and pawing the ground with his hoof.

     Mr. Bronston stood off to the side of the track, holding a small pocket hourglass in his claws.

     "Alright," he said, not taking his eyes off the timer. "Ready... Get set... Go!"

     The Pets took off in a cloud of dust, charging down the track. Atyur was in the lead by a long shot, loping along at a steady pace and looking very much at ease. Zarrelian galloped as fast as his little legs would carry him, folding back his tiny wings to try and streamline himself.

     The Ixi made it about a third of the way down the track on his first lap before he began to feel winded. Zarrelian panted, alternating between clutching a stitch that had formed in his side and wiping the perspiration off his brow. Zarrelian heard a faint pounding sound coming up behind him and turned his head, gasping in disbelief. Atyur was overlapping him!

     The carrot-furred Lupe flashed Zarrelian an arrogant grin as he ran past, swishing his bushy orange tail from side to side he did. The Lupe wasn't even out of breath!

     "Take it easy, Zarrel!" Atyur laughed as he carried on, leaving Zarrelian in the dirt. It wasn't long before more Pets began to pass him. Dewbeck the Uni, Muhnstur the Lupe, Ophyres the Kougra... They all overlapped the poor Ixi, rushing past in blurs of multicolored fur.

     Mr. Bronston watched the Pets, shading his eyes with his clipboard. The Draik grinned maliciously.

     "Hurry up, Zarrelian!" he called. "You're not making very good time!"

     Zarrelian heaved with exertion, his breath coming out in raspy gasps. The Ixi tried to focus on the track ahead of him, but it was all melting into one big, brownish-gray blur. Mr. Bronston continued to heckle him.

     "Come on, you overgrown Whinny! I've seen Slorgs run faster than you!"

     Zarrelian occupied himself with thoughts of what he would do to Mr. Bronston if he had been born a Grarrl instead of an Ixi. He glanced over at the sidelines, and yelped in surprise. All of the other Pets were finished! How could they have completed their run? Zarrelian tried to remember what lap he was on. He must be at least on lap number five. The Ixi smiled in spite of his aching muscles. He was on his last lap! Soon he would be finished!

     Zarrelian crossed the finish line, his sides heaving. Mr. Bronston leered at him.

     "What are you doing, Ixi? You've still got two more laps," he snarled. Zarrelian's eyes widened in shock.

     "What? Are you kidding me?" he asked in disbelief. The Draik's nostrils began smoking slightly, a sure sign of irritation.

     "I can assure you, Mr. Battlesunn, that I most certainly am not." He looked pointedly in the direction of the track.

     "Now keep going. You're not stopping until you finish. Or until your hooves fall off; whichever comes first."

     Zarrelian groaned but complied, trotting doggedly down the track once again.

     ***

     Mr. Bronston watched in amusement as Zarrelian crawled across the finish line, his fur damp with sweat and his tongue practically lolling to the ground. The Draik flipped over his hourglass.

     "Twenty minutes. TWENTY MINUTES! That was pathetic. Had that been the real six lap, you would've gotten a smork."

     Zarrelian raised his head wearily. "A smork?" he inquired. The Draik nodded.

     "In your case, I've found myself having to make up new letter grades," he replied. Zarrelian dropped his head to the ground again, his wings drooping. The Draik snorted, giving the Ixi a small kick in the side.

     "Get up. The others have to run and you're blocking the track." He waved at the Pets of group two.

     "Get moving! You've got to hurry, thanks to the little speed demon here," Mr. Bronston shouted to the remaining Pets. He then looked back down at Zarrelian, who had gathered the energy to drag himself off the track. "If I were you, Ixi, I'd get myself a pretty good trainer for the real six lap. Because if you fail that, then you fail gym. And if you fail gym, you fail grade five. And if you fail grade five..." Here the Draik gave a sinister little chuckle. "Then you have to take summer school. And you wouldn't want that, now would you?" Zarrelian made an indistinguishable noise of distress. Mr. Bronston harrumphed and turned on his heel, striding off to his other students.

     Zarrelian pulled himself up into a sitting position, massaging his aching legs. The Ixi looked around the resting area, catching sight of Atyur. Zarrelian narrowed his eyes, privately seething. It wasn't fair. Atyur was a Lupe; he was strong and swift and could run for a long time without getting tired. If only I was as fast as Atyur... he thought longingly. Then, an idea occurred to him. He could get Atyur to be his personal trainer! That was what Mr. Bronston had suggested, and Atyur would be easy to persuade... At least, Zarrelian hoped that he would be easy to persuade.

     The Ixi got up and dusted himself off, walking over to where Atyur sat surrounded by a group of admiring Pets. When the Lupe caught sight of Zarrelian, he chuckled and grinned.

     "Well, if it isn't Zarrelian, Mr. Ixi of Doom himself!" the Lupe sniggered. "You wouldn't be of much use if you had to make a quick getaway, now would you, Zarrel?" he jokingly asked. Zarrelian scowled, but replaced it quickly with a pained, forced smile.

     "Listen, Atyur... I was wondering, would you be able to be my personal trainer to help me get ready for the real six lap next week?" he asked hopefully. Atyur idly scratched his neck, lazily tipping his muzzle to the sky.

     "Oh, I don't know. What's in it for me?" he drawled. Zarrelian did some quick thinking.

     "Um... I'll do your homework for you!" he offered. The Lupe gave a barking laugh.

     "You? You're completely useless at homework. You get worse marks than the class Pet Rock!" Atyur chortled. Zarrelian furrowed his brow.

     "Okay... How about if I steal back that yo-yo that Mr. Bronston confiscated from you?" the Ixi offered temptingly. Atyur looked at him incredulously.

     "You could do that?" he asked. Zarrelian nodded fervently.

     "Yup. I'm always getting detention with him, I could easily slip it from his desk," he replied with conviction. Atyur grinned, extending the Ixi his orange-furred paw.

     "Alright Zarrel, you've got yourself a deal. Get me my yo-yo back and I'll teach you everything I know!" he agreed. Zarrelian shook the Lupe's paw, smiling to himself.

     "Ah, good. Then it won't take as long as I thought," he muttered. Atyur cocked an ear.

     "What was that?" he asked. Zarrelian gulped.

     "Nothing. So, how about I meet you here on Saturday, say, three O clock?" the Ixi quickly replied. Atyur nodded.

     "Sounds good to me. I'll be there!" Zarrelian breathed a sigh of relief.

     "Good. So will I."

     ***

     Zarrelian was waiting by the track for his new trainer, Atyur the Lupe. It was Saturday afternoon, and Atyur was scheduled to arrive at three O clock. It was currently two fifty-eight. Just two more minutes... Zarrelian thought to himself, yawning as he plucked at a loose string on his jogging suit. The Halloween Ixi figured that if he wore it, he'd be able to run faster.

     Finally, Atyur appeared, a bag under his arm and his bright orange fur contrasting sharply with the royal blue headband on his forehead. The Lupe grinned.

     "Okay Zarrelian, let's get started. Now, get on your back and do a hundred sit-ups!" he said, pulling out an hourglass timer that looked almost identical to Mr. Bronston's. Zarrelian looked at him oddly.

     "I don't see why that's necessary..." he began uncertainly. Atyur laughed.

     "Necessary? Of course it's necessary! It'll give you a nice tight stomach, like mine." The Lupe flexed his impressive muscles. Zarrelian was starting to get annoyed.

     "How is having a tight stomach going to help me run faster?" he demanded. Atyur glared at him.

     "Do you want my services or not?" he asked dangerously. The Ixi sighed, lying on his back in the grass.

     "Alright, fine," he grumbled. "But I'd better get an A on that test..." Zarrelian began doing his sit-ups, grunting laboriously. Atyur loomed over him, shouting encouragement.

     "You pathetic cream puff! You'll never accomplish anything!" he barked. Zarrelian glared at him.

     "That's not helping, broom-tail!" the Ixi hissed. Atyur smiled.

     "I'm just giving you some positive reinforcement. NOBODY LOVES YOU!" the Lupe retorted. Zarrelian groaned, doing his best to continue with his callisthenics.

     "I've seen better crunches at the Stock market!" Atyur roared. Zarrelian screwed his eyes shut.

     "That one didn't even make sense!" he cried. Atyur growled low in his throat.

     "Do you want to fail gym?" the Lupe asked warningly. Zarrelian muttered something under his breath. Thankfully, Atyur didn't hear it.

     Finally, Zarrelian finished his sit-ups. The Ixi collapsed gratefully to the ground, wheezing like a winded Skeith. Atyur clucked his tongue.

     "Hmm. Well, I suppose we'll have to work on your endurance a bit..." the Lupe observed, pacing around Zarrelian's resting form. "Get up now, Zarrel. I'm going to have you run until you faint," he announced. The Ixi looked up at him.

     "What? Why?" he cried. Atyur rolled his eyes.

     "So that I can see how long you can run for, what do you think?" he replied as though it was the most obvious thing it the world. (Which it was). Zarrelian sniffled, rising shakily to his hooves and clip clopping off to the track. He glanced at the Lupe, who raised one paw into the air and then swiftly brought it down, signaling to the Ixi that it was time to start running.

     Atyur seated himself on a small tussock at the side of the track and watched as Zarrelian jogged determinedly around the course, huffing and puffing in exertion. The Lupe rummaged through his bag and retrieved a large chocolate Chia, which he proceeded to eat in front of the doggedly trotting Ixi.

     "That's the way, Zarrel," he mumbled through the chocolate. "Keep on running."

     Zarrelian continued to run for a further half hour before completely draining his energy. The Ixi slumped to the ground in a dead faint, his mouth slightly open. Atyur wiped his fudge covered paws on his tawny orange coat and strolled over to the fallen Ixi. He nudged Zarrelian with his paw.

     "Okay Zarrel, that was very good. Now get up, you have to do some jumping jacks."

     The Ixi remained unconscious. Atyur nosed around for a moment before coming up with a large branch.

     "I am going to poke you with this stick until you get up," he declared. The Lupe then proceeded to poke Zarrelian in the side with the tip of the stick, continuing to jab at the Ixi for a further ten minutes. When that method yielded no results, Atyur switched to another tactic. The Lupe lowered his head until his mouth was right next to Zarrelian's ear.

     "Zaaarrrellll," he said softly. "Wake up, Zarrel." Atyur took a deep breath. "ZARREL!"

     That woke him up. Zarrelian screeched, clutching his ear with his hooves. He glared at the Lupe. "What is wrong with you, you numbskull? Are you trying to ruin my hearing?" he indignantly squawked. Atyur shrugged.

     "Sorry Zarrel, it was the only way." He regarded the Ixi for a moment. "Are you okay?" he asked. Zarrelian scowled.

     "Do I look okay?!!" he demanded. Atyur scratched his head.

     "Uh, no, that's why I was asking," he explained. Zarrelian spat bitterly on the ground.

     "Typical. This is so typical of you Lupes. You're all idiotic!" the Ixi snarled. Atyur took some offense to that.

     "No we aren't! Lupes are loyal and brave and courageous! Which is more than I could say about you, you ugly little pixie," he growled. "As a matter of fact, I don't think it's worth the return of my yo-yo to train you. It's a waste of time anyway. I could have a much easier job of teaching Grarrls the ballet!"

     Zarrelian wasn't an Ixi to back down from an insult fight. "Oh, and you'd know all about ballet, wouldn't you, Atyur? I suppose you like playing with Usuki dolls too!"

     Atyur bristled angrily. "Excuse me? What about you?" The Lupe got up and did a crude but surprisingly accurate imitation of the Ixi. "Ooh, look at me, I'm the Ixi of Doom! I'm so special because I have a shtick! Whoo-ooo!"

     Zarrelian took GREAT offense to that. He gave a fierce battle cry and leapt upon the Lupe, biting and kicking with all his might. Atyur howled in pain as the Ixi clamped his teeth over the Lupe's bushy tail. Atyur lashed out with his hind paws, giving Zarrelian a glancing blow on the underside of his jaw.

     All the noise was attracting the attention of some passerby on the street. An old Bruce put a fin to her mouth in shock.

     "Oh, mercy me! Pets these days are so violent!" she exclaimed. Her friend, a wiry old Acara, nodded in agreement.

     "It's because of the Battledome and those horrible flash games, they give Pets the rage!"

     Zarrelian struggled furiously against the Lupe. It was fairly evident now that the Ixi was fighting a losing battle. Atyur was far larger and stronger than Zarrelian, and the Ixi's new goal was to escape with as little bruising as possible. He lowered his head and butted the Lupe in the gut. That did the trick. Atyur yelped and clutched at his stomach, giving Zarrelian an opportunity to get away. The Ixi wasted no time. He took off running, charging down the track. Atyur snarled and followed suit, galloping after the Ixi.

     Zarrelian glanced back and gave a little cry of shock. Atyur was in hot pursuit! The Ixi put on a fresh burst of speed and continued running around the track, not stopping to think about where he was going or what he was doing.

     The two Pets ran all along the course, completing a lap and not losing any speed. Atyur panted, his large, pumpkin-hued paws pounding the dirt-covered track.

     "I'll get you Zarrel!" he wheezed. "You can't run forever!" The Lupe frowned. "He certainly is fast, though." Atyur gasped and skidded to a sudden stop.

     "ZARRELIAN!" he shouted. The Halloween Ixi paused and looked back. "Zarrelian, look! You're running! You CAN run fast! You just needed a decent incentive!" Atyur yelled. Zarrelian froze and thought for a moment, a grin creeping across his face.

     "Hey, I can go really fast! I can pass P.E!" He laughed out loud. "I can run!" The Ixi cantered towards Atyur.

     "Yes! Did you see that, Atyur? I'm even faster than you!" He did a little jig. "Now that I know I can run really fast when I need to, I'm sure I can do it anytime," Zarrelian joyfully sang. Atyur wagged his tail happily.

     "Great! You'll get an A for sure on the six lap next week." He frowned suddenly. "But when do I get my yo-yo?"

     ***

     It was the day of the six lap test, and Zarrelian was preparing himself for the run. He stretched his legs, his hooves and his wings. He practiced proper jogging posture and sharpened his hooves especially for the terrain of the track.

     Mr. Bronston was also helping to prepare his students. He loomed threateningly over a small yellow Kiko, who was looking rather terrified.

     "Well? What are you waiting for? Touch your toes!" he snapped to the Kiko. The aquatic Neopet gulped.

     "B--but sir, I don't have any toes!" he stammered. Mr. Bronston growled, taking a step forward.

     "Are you calling me a liar?"

     "No!"

     The Draik snorted, turning from the Kiko and striding over to Zarrelian. Mr. Bronston leered at the Ixi.

     "So Zarrel, are we ready for the little run today?" he asked. Zarrelian smiled.

     "Why, yes sir, I think I am," he smoothly replied.

     Mr. Bronston pursed his lips contemptuously. "Good. Then you'll be happy to know that we're starting right now. Get to the track!"

     Zarrelian obeyed, trotting over to the starting line. The Ixi sniggered.

     "This'll be cake. I'm the best one here, I was staying ahead of Atyur last Saturday and he's the fastest runner in the class!" he said to himself.

     Mr. Bronston swaggered over to the Pets, adjusting his hourglass.

     "In three, two, one... Go!"

     Once again, the students went full speed ahead down the track, only this time, Zarrelian was in the lead. Mr. Bronston's jaw dropped as he watched the Ixi trot leisurely along, easily a full three meters ahead of the other runners. Zarrelian laughed out loud. This was easy! This was great! The Ixi closed his eyes in bliss as he trotted along the course, feeling the lovely cool breeze on his face, the firm solid earth under his hooves, the nice--

     "Eeek!" Zarrelian screeched in anguish. His hooves, which had been freshly polished and sharpened for the race, had gotten caught under a protruding root. The Ixi cried out in shock as he went plummeting face-first into the ground.

     All around him Zarrelian could hear a rumbling of paws, hooves and claws as every other Pet in the class passed him. Atyur shook his head with pity as he lapped the bedraggled Ixi, sighing sadly for Zarrelian and for himself.

     "Great," he muttered bitterly. "Now I'll never get my yo-yo back!"

The End