Why Gnome Collecting is the Next Big Thing

1) Gnomes ARE NOT simply little potato shaped people, yada, yada, yada. They are, in fact, those charmingly painted “little Neopets” that should adorn every Neohome garden that are often sporting pointy hats and equally pointed shoes. How is this any different? I don’t really know, but I can honestly say I’m not a crazy old lady though I very well might just live down your street (which might be scary).

2) Gnomes are in fact, much more fun than they would immediately appear. I mean just look at them: they’re cute! Well, okay, I don’t really like the Tonu Gnomes but other than that I’m in love. Who wants to play with those smelly, boring Usuki Dolls when you can have a wonderful Gnome that’s all toasty and warm from baking in the sun all day? Me, certainly.

3) Gnomes aren’t just fun, they’re practical: the only thing that keeps that pesky neighbor’s unwanted petpets out of your lovely garden is a gnome. Heck, even a burglar or two might quake in fear upon finding that flower they just stepped on was being held up by that cute little Blumaroo who suddenly seems a lot more fierce.

4) Since here on Neopets your pets are everything, who wouldn’t tremble with jealousy when they see how happy your precious little Lupe is as he plays with his collection of gnomes? Certainly even the youngest pet will turn green with envy and begin begging their owner for a set of their own.

5) Gnomes are more than just style molded into a bright-eyed, flowery face. They’re an investment any millionaire should buy into and in the long run when they’re unbuyable that snug little bundle of gnomes collecting dirt in your garden will seem tenfold more practical.

6) Gnomes brighten any home or inventory and are cute plastic faces just begging the pant devil to try and dare rob you. As well as being fashionable, cute, sweet, practical, and flawless gnomes are also good weapons. The bright flowers can be optionally detached (though you might have to “break” one) and can then be thrown or poked at an opponent. And if time is short just throw one of the little fellows and you’ll soon find how entirely durable they are.

7) Gnomes pay for themselves in the long run. After all, how many Neopoints do you spend over the years trying to hopelessly construct scarecrows out of pumpkins? Why, after only a few short years when your gnome collection has begun turning out visitors from across the land and you’ve made hundreds in vegetables grown under their protective eyes, you’ll see how truly beneficial these creatures can be.

8) There’s a gnome out there for everyone! Even Phoubie, my little darkling Cybunny whose only friend is her equally shadowy Snowbunny managed to find a gnome for her! There are scary Halloween Gnomes, happy flower gnomes, and even cold-weathered Christmas gnomes for the chillier garden.

Now that I’ve explained the obvious reasons behind the upcoming gnome fad I feel as if I should explain the very basics in daily gnome care so all Neopians out there will finally treat gnomes as they justly deserve, and not simply regard them as mere ornaments in the Neohome Garden:

1) Gnomes must be bathed weekly in mildly soapy water or else they will begin to mold. Believe me, I once saw a very bad case of what I call “gnome fungus” and after the mold had taken its toll, sadly, there was little charm left in that poor Zafara’s eye. However, if you’re recently rediscovering the wonderful ways of your little friends and have found an infected area there are a few things you can do:

-First and foremost, remove the gnome from your garden

-After a quick rinse off with unsoapy water be sure to pat the infected area dry before continuing further

-Now usually most people are either too secluded to buy a simple anti-fungal scrub or unwilling to spend the Neopoints so I offer a cheaper alternative though most regard it as tougher method: a simple scraping of the fungus

-After the mold has been eradicated you should then cover the area with a cheap, easy to apply plaster and then set out to paint the area with a shade closest matching the original and walla! Your gnome is good as new!

2) Gnomes must be annually repainted and, if possible, taken to see a gnome specialist. If you lack artistic skills, have no fear, a simple gnome making kit provides all the instructions needed. Plus, with this method you often find yourself with a new friend who you can customize all your own! However, if you don’t want the hassle of creating a new gnome or buying the whole kit, just ask a fellow gnome lover and they will surely give you all the help you will ever need.

3) Gnomes have to be shifted positions from time to time. When people often ask me why this is I ask them: how would you feel after being forced to sit every day in the same place stiff as a rock with the sun and elements pounding down upon you? For exactly this reason you must be sure to take special care in selecting just the right spot for your friend, but remember that all gnomes will eventually fade in color if constantly exposed to the sun.

4) Gnomes have to be given love! I would recommend, just as any plant specialist would recommend, that you talk to your gnomes! My studies show that the most pleasant and cutest gnomes out there are those whose owners take special time out of their day to checkup on the little guys and spare an occasional conversation or two. However, being the charming creatures they are, gnomes always tend to look their best, even if you aren’t ready for that kind of relationship.

Finally, I would like to add that though gnome collecting isn’t for everyone just because you don’t have a shop full of gnomes doesn’t mean you are any less dedicated than those that do. For instance, my garden boasts only two gnomes, TWO! However, I have received many compliments from neighbors assuring that they are some of the best-off gnomes there are. However, for the avid gnome collector out there they should all relate to why their collections are the start of something truly fabulous.

In closing, I would like to say that it is my personal opinion that Neopet’s next big plot might, or at least should, revolve entirely around gnomes, so, keeping that in mind: happy gnome hunting!