After the Abandonment

Okay, that’s probably not what happened.

What’s more likely is that, as your pet cried in the pound, you went skipping off, thinking about reduced food bills, and the fortune you could make by selling their petpet. It’s not like they’ll be using it.

So as you skip through Neopia Central (don’t mind the people staring), you suddenly realize something. You have one or more pets back home, who saw two family members go out, and are expecting two family members to come back.

You have a problem here. That’s where I come in.

Owners face this problem daily. How exactly can they explain to their pet that they will never see their sibling again? A possibility is to disown that pet too, thus eliminating any sticky explanations. But you can only disown one pet a day. Too bad for you.

So now you’re stuck having to explain something to your pet that you would rather not. Fortunately, this article is geared towards helping you and your pet overcome this difficult experience. By following these nine simple steps, you and your pet will be able to happily move on with your lives. If not, there are plenty of empty cages in the pound, and nothing says you can’t go back there tomorrow.

Step 1: Open with a joke.

Pets like jokes. Jokes are funny. When it comes to easing tension, nothing is better than laughter. Try a simple joke like the following one I used on my Kougra in such a situation.

Me: “Knock, knock!”

Jay: “Who’s there?”

Me: “Not Chaelen!”

Then start laughing. Chances are, your pet will start laughing too.

Step 2: Bribery

Okay, your pet isn’t laughing. In fact, they are either very sad, or trying to bite your arm. If your pet fights in the Battledome, you might want to put on a suit of armor before breaking the news to them. At any rate, it’s time to bribe them. As we all know, nothing heals a pet’s uncontrollable anger like a nice new paint brush! If they’re attacking you in a particularly fierce way, I suggest a baby paint brush. The scratches will still hurt, but they’ll look so cute! Just make sure you don’t buy them anything heavy. That’s just asking for trouble.

Step 3: Lie, Lie, Lie

So bribing them didn’t work. Maybe they threw the paint brush at you, or maybe they wouldn’t sit still long enough to be painted. Either way, it’s time for some lying. I’m sure you’re pretty good at it. After all, it’s not like you told your poor abandoned Neopet where you were taking them. Right up until the end, I’m sure they still thought you were going to the Chocolate Factory.

Try telling your pet that their sibling is currently living with one of your friends. When they ask which friend, try bribing them again. Disowning a pet sure is getting expensive, isn’t it?

Step 4: Reassurance

By this point, your pet has usually calmed down a little. Now that they’re thinking clearly, they’re probably pretty worried. If you disowned their sibling, what’s to stop you from disowning them? You need to explain to them very clearly why you would never disown them. The most likely reason is that you spend thousands of neopoints training and painting them. Disowning them now would just be a bad investment. You also might want to throw in a compliment or two. Pets are sensitive that way.

Step 5: The New Pet

This step doesn’t apply to everyone, but it does to most people. A reason many people abandon a pet is that they want a new one. Maybe you never realized just how adorable Bori are, but you’re stuck with a Wocky or Ixi. Well, you still need to think about your remaining pets. If you introduce a new pet into the family immediately after abandoning an old one, it almost certainly won’t end well. The other pets may resent this pet, thinking it is replacing their sibling. Then they’ll resent it, and you, and put an Electric Mote in your ear while you’re sleeping. This is all strictly hypothetical, of course.

I suggest waiting at least a week before introducing a new pet into the family. Talk to your other pets about it, and make sure that they’re comfortable with it. A new pet needs to be a slow, easy transition. Unless of course, you disowned your pet because limited edition pets came out. In that case, you should toss your pet, dash over to Create-A-Pet, and rush home to your other pets with a very special surprise. I’m sure they’ll get over it. Besides, Poogles are so darned cute!

Step 6: Getting Closure

Maybe it’s been a couple weeks, and your pet is still grouchy. No matter how many plushies you give them, they just won’t forgive you. What you may need is some closure between you, your current pet, and your abandoned pet. Go to the pound, and see if your pet has been adopted yet. If they have, contact their new owner, and arrange a meeting between your two pets. Then you can explain to them why you made that choice. Of course, at that point, your pet will still be mad at you for abandoning their sibling, and attack you. It’s pretty likely that the abandoned pet will join in too. I mean, the two of you aren’t on the best terms, now are you? It’s even possible the pet’s new owner will join in. I guess this wasn’t a very good step, now was it?

Step 7: Hospital Visit

By this point, you’ll probably want to pay a visit to the Neopian Hospital. Those severe injuries aren’t going to treat themselves, you know.

Step 8: Back to the Pound

Okay, so you’ve tried everything. Your pet just can’t seem to forgive you, and still throws things at you on occasion. By this point, it’s time to give up. You abandoned one pet, why not two? Nobody likes a pet with an attitude problem. Besides, abandoning is easier the second time.

Step 9: Repeat steps 1-8 with your third pet

So there you have it. You and your pet are happier, and can move on with your lives. Granted, your pet will be moving on with their life in the pound, but as I’m sure any pet psychologist would agree, they are better off this way.