 Wearing Your (Broken) Heart on Your Sleeve This Year
by jackie247
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I’m just going to say it - not all of us enjoy Valentine’s Day. As Neopians, we are far too familiar with heartbreak. Ever make it all the way to the silver die while playing Dice-A-Roo, only to roll a game over on your next move? Can’t seem to find your Magma Pool time? Tell King Skarl your finest joke, only to be booted straight out of the castle? Or maybe you got hit with Dr. Sloth’s invasion tax - OUCH. It hurts the heart and the bank account. Do you ever spin the Wheel of Extravagance only to have it stop riiiight before that sweet avatar spot? Maybe you purchased a Race to Riches Scratchcard from the kiosk, just to reveal three blanks accompanied by, “We have a loser, ladies and gentlemen!” Did you sneak past the Snowager, only to be jolted by a savage icy blast and no avatar to be found? Did the Petpet Lab Ray cause little Sir Bob of Geraptiku to spontaneously combust? I’m going to miss you, Sir Bob of Geraptiku! Maybe you took a trip to the Money Tree for some goodies, only to find out that ghosts stole all of the donations. And have you ever mistakenly fed an R99 to your Grarrl!? Whew! These scenarios just get worse and worse. Whatever is causing you pain this Valentine’s Day, just know that I am here for you. Sometimes you just need to sit with the grief and let it pass through. Let’s be melancholy and morose. Moody and broody. This is for when you feel down and dejected, or like someone took a Kass Basher bat to your heart. It’s times like this when you might be tempted to crawl into a Symol hole and hide, but don’t! These 14 unique items will help you wear your broken heart on your sleeve with pride:  1). UC Grey Mynci CD of Sad Songs - Blast those sad songs on full volume and scream out those lamentable lyrics. Shouting out emotional lyrics into the void? That is THE definition of cathartic.  2). Dying Rose in a Vase - This rose has certainly seen better days. Putting this rose on display is a metaphor for how we feel inside this Valentine’s Day - shriveled up and wilted with no one to care for us! I must say, it DOES make a very snazzy wearable.  3). Un-Valentines Skeith Plushie - He’s just a sad little guy, clutching his broken heart in anguish. The pain is palpable on that tear-streaked face. Give this plushie a big hug while you wait out that woeful feeling. https://images.neopets.com/items/book_tearjerker.gif 4). Tear Jerkers - Described as an “emotional rollercoaster,” this book will allow you to let it all out. The pages will be soaked to the spine by the time you’re done reading. Let it air dry before you dive back in. I promise the tears will be nonstop from beginning to end, allowing you to feel all of the feelings.  5). TDMBGPOP Ornament - The Discarded Magical Blue Grundo Plushie of Prosperity, affectionately known as TDMBGPOP, is known around Neopia as a beacon of hopelessness. Poor little dude just hangs around Faerieland, waiting for visitors. He is also depicted on one of the saddest avatars in existence *sniff*. The TDMBGPOP Ornament was modeled after this mournful plushie and was handed out by the Advent Calendar in Year 23. Display this ornament on your tree to spread the sorrow far and wide.  6). Love Poems for the Lovelorn - If you’re feeling lovesick this Valentine’s Day, lean into your despair with these listless love poems. Knowing that someone else experienced what you’re going through, and put it into words, can make all the difference on your own healing journey.  7). Steaming Green Tea - Found at Remarkable Restoratives, this Steaming Green Tea is rumoured to cure the NeoBlues. Is it a scientifically proven cure that actually works? I don’t know - I’m not a doctor. Maybe check with Dr. Landelbrot? Or ask the Neopian Pharmacy if they would recommend trying it.  8). Scroll of Sadness - This Battledome item will let your opponent know that you’re desolate and proud. Maybe they will take it easy on you? However, an important lesson is to never mistake woefulness for weakness - this Scroll of Sadness will pack a powerful punch!  9). Broken Heart Trinket - The description encourages you to “wear your broken heart with pride!” and that’s exactly what I want you to do. Don’t be shy about it - rock that misery for all of Neopia to see! This item can be found restocking at the Neopian Gift Shop. Pick one up this Valentine’s Day!  10). Smooshed Heart Cake - Are we really going to eat our feelings? Yes, we are! This Smooshed Heart Cake looks like someone took a swing during Meepit vs. Feepit and missed! Seriously, did someone punch this cake? Well, I’m sure the taste is just as good as ever. Satiate your sadness with sugar. Munch away the miserable thoughts. Scarf down your sorrow. Devour and digest the depression. You get idea - cake makes everything better!  11). Crying Corn - It’s just like us! Let the tears flow while you crunch on this fresh stalk of Crying Corn. This is also a gourmet food, so rack up those Gourmet Club points in the process.  12). Sick-of-Hearts Pinata - Stand back, close your eyes, pivot, and swing with all your strength! Take out your emotions on a pinata today.  13). Broken Heart Candy - Ohhhh, so THAT’S what was in the pinata! Whoops! Might as well enjoy the candy of your labour.  14). Toothy Grin Mask - This mask is so unsettling, put it on and Neopians might think it’s Halloween. Not the worst idea, because I suppose it will distract them from Valentine’s Day! So the next time the Pant Devil steals an expensive item away, you make a deposit before you’ve collected your bank interest, or you just can’t guess the correct weight of that marrow - keep this article in mind! Sometimes the solution to sadness is to sit with it and ride it out like you’re on the Roo Island Merry-Go-Round. There are a lot of things that cause us heartache, but there’s always something good that comes out of it - like the inspiration for this article! Happy Valentine’s Day, or whatever!
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