Neoschool: Where to Send Your Pet

Neopia Central

My Rating: 8/10

As it is the foil for the other lands, nothing is particularly special about Neopia Central Neoschool (NCN). If you want your pet to have a well-rounded education covering the essentials, then I recommend Neopia Central for you.

The people here are your average folks. From a poll taken, approximately 87% of all pets at NCN are unpainted. This prevents discrimination between painted and unpainted pets, while giving those who are poor a chance to learn without worrying about paintbrushes.

Field trips are occasionally taken to the nearby land of Meridell, where the students are enriched in subjects. One specialty of Meridell is math, through potato counting.

Mystery Island

My Rating: 7/10

Mystery Island has a great tropical rainforest climate, which greatly influences the classes offered. Instead of average Physical Education, a pet attending the Mystery Island Academy can choose among many physical activities. Some include beach volleyball, swimming, surfing, training, climbing the Techo Mountain, and pulling Tiki Tour carriages. All of the activities listed give your pet a great set of muscles while entertaining them much more than running laps will.

As for pets’ actual education, pets will come away from Mystery Island happy, but rather dull. The teachers are not too bright. Their Grammar and Language teacher teaches them poetry, but instead of famous pieces such as “The Babblewocky,” he tells them:

Gallantry, stone sits

gallantry, friendliness flows

capable Wocky.

Also, pets can only count to ten, as that is the number of codestones there are. Oh, and did I mention that instead of knowing One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven, Eight, Nine, Ten, they know Mau, Tai-Kai, Lu, Vo, Eo, Main, Zei, Orn, Har, Bri?

So, uh, if you’re looking for your pet to become the next Donna instead of the next Adam, I suggest that you don’t send your pet to Mystery Island's Neoschool. Unless, that is, you are looking for your pet to have the maximum amount of fun. Then, this is the school for them.

Haunted Woods

My Rating: 10/10

The Haunted Woods’ Boarding School surprisingly provides one of the best educations, with the lessons taught in the form of games. There is one catch however: Can your pet survive?

Many field trips to a nearby land, the Lost Desert, are taken by the neoschool. While there, they learn math(s) through the Lost Desert Calculator, and spelling through the game Word Pyramid. The interactive presentation of usually boring subjects involves students in a way they could never imagine. Now, instead of begging to leave a boring lesson in front of the chalkboard, the pets beg to play Word Pyramid again.

As for when the pets are still in their home, the Haunted Woods, there are many fun activities covering all subjects. When learning Science, students can simply play the game Chemistry for Beginners. This teaches them all about how to build stable molecules from atoms. For the similar subject of Potion Brewing, pets have two choices: they can play Korbats Lab but study the potions instead of smash them, or they can go back to the Tale of Woe plot and either create a Neovian Curing Potion or test bones.

When learning Grammar and Language, a pet can simply play the game Castle of Eliv Thade, and unscramble vocabulary words. Upon request, teachers ask Ginny, the main Usul, if the student can swap places with her. Let me tell you that the pets do a great job at spelling when their lives are at stake!

For Physical Education, pets can work on their strength at Test Your Strength and their aim at Coconut Shy or Carnival of Terror and when working on their Art skills, pets can use the colouring pages.

Finally, when pets are studying Early Neopian history, they can easily take a stop by the Brain Tree and Esophagor to find out famous Neopian figures and their birth and death dates. Or, they can go to the Tale of Woe plot again to the directory of graves and the deceased.

Faerieland

My Rating: 8/10

Faerieland’s Preparatory School has a decent education, although it is unfortunately limited to faerie pets. There are many cliques, however, and how rich your pet is does impact their popularity. So, unless you are a neomillionare with a pet painted faerie, I would suggest saving your poor pet from being unpopular and choose another school.

When learning math, pets can count babaas in the local game, Maths Nightmare. Lunch can be bought directly from the Faerie Foods store for a fee of 500 neopoints per day. (NOTE: the food bought does not go to your inventory. It just brings your pet’s hunger to bloated.) Also, art teachers are known to send students to the coloring pages. Field trips have been taken during the end of the first semester to the Faerie Paint Brushes building to study different pets and recreate them using materials unique to each pet (clay, wood, pipe cleaners, paper, etc. Many sculptures have been known to win the Random Contest or be shown in the Art Gallery).

Flying classes are given once a pet becomes of age. This is one of the reasons why pets must be faerie to enroll. After all, it would be very discriminatory to allow species such as Eyries, but not Acaras (not, uh, saying it isn’t discriminatory to allow only faerie pets).

The entire grade, supervised by the teachers of Simple Spelling, go on an annual field trip to Altador. If a class of pets can fly, then they must travel on their own to Altador. If not, Eyrie Cabs are hired. Once in Altador, the students take the Imperial Examination. This decides whether each student should skip a grade at the Prepatory School or not. In order to enter the building, they must spell a random word correctly and if they succeed they will continue to take the exam.

A weak spot in the education of pets from Faerieland is Potion Brewing. But, in my opinion, that doesn’t even deserve to be a class.

Virtupets Space Station

My Rating: 9/10

The Virtupets Space Station’s neoschool is a school of high quality, where –

WAIT

WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME?

*beep beep boop...*

Um, it seems that I am not to comment on this school. Sloth told me to say this, however:

This school is the best. All students should attend school at Virtupets Space Station. All students should bow down to Sloth. Sloth is great. Whoooo! Yay.

And – uh, it has great spelling through fun games such as Spell or Starve and Typing Terror.

So go to the Virtupets Space Station’s school. Now.

His name is Frank Sloth and he approves this message.