A Yurble stole my cinnamon roll! Circulation: 194,653,695 Issue: 751 | 30th day of Gathering, Y18
Home | Archives Articles | Editorial | Short Stories | Comics | New Series | Continued Series
 

Search


To search older issues of the Neopian Times (before issue 158), click here.

Search :

We found the following 39 result(s) for the keyword theschizophrenicpunk

Week - 335

Attack of the Plushies
by theschizophrenicpunk
Description: The sound of fluttering wings echoed through the large room as Sailla froze in the middle of her game and sat there, afraid to look behind her to see what it was...

Week - 375

Slushie Snag
by theschizophrenicpunk
Description: Tintilla, Coarse, and Ember walked to the front door of the slushie shop. Ember was talking to Coarse while Tintilla yelled random nonsense.

Week - 697

Mystery Island Mayhem
by theschizophrenicpunk
Description: After searching through the lost city of Geraptiku for nearly three hours straight, dodging arrows and venomous petpets, Apsy was more than tired, especially since she and her brother Sky also had to baby-sit their friend Tintilla the Darigan Gelert and her pet Zomutt Nanna that day, for Tintilla was more than crazy – she was always hyper, and, no matter what Apsy or Sky said, Tintilla refused to listen.

Week - 698

Mission KatFL
by theschizophrenicpunk
Description: OPEN: KSSMO history files
OPEN: file no. 23-543-12, file name: mission records
OPEN: subfile no. 12, subfile name: closed missions
OPEN: mission name: KatFL, mission status: FAILED
VIEW: read-only, mission no. 355222
VIEW: subfile C: description of the failed mission KatFL, taken via dictation, ver batim, from those involved
BEGIN TRANSMISSION:

Week - 703

And Then There Was Silence: Part One
by theschizophrenicpunk
Description: "Though he couldn't turn from the light, the loss of his love broke him. His heart grew cold and he learned the arts of death. When he was encountered again, he had changed from a warm person into a ruthless assassin." -Unknown author, The Nameless Assassin, text found in the Rathbone Family Crypts, circa Y7

Week - 704

And Then There Was Silence: Part Two
by theschizophrenicpunk
Description: Apsy and Ember are completely lost. t's been at least an hour since the two left the burrows, and, though Apsy had managed to identify which direction was southwest using her natural affinity for recognising the position of Kreludor and its surrounding stars, the king must have either misdirected them or understated exactly how far away the crypts were.

Week - 705

And Then There Was Silence: Part One: Part Three
by theschizophrenicpunk
Description: inneus has been flying for a few miles now, constantly checking the ground below to make sure he isn't being pursued by that terrifying assassin. So far, the coast is clear, the assassin is nowhere to be found, and his ego has never been so huge.

Week - 706

And Then There Was Silence: Part Four
by theschizophrenicpunk
Description: Kanrik throws an empty bottle against the wall. It shatters into a rain of bluish glass that scatters across the ground. Finneus is afraid to look Kanrik in the face again. "What part of 'don't ever come back' do you not understand, Finneus?!"

Week - 707

And Then There Was Silence: Part Five
by theschizophrenicpunk
Description: Finneus hops carefully over the foggy waters of Bogshot Swamp, trying his best not to fall into the nasty, seemingly-gelatinous marsh. It's difficult, however, to maintain his balance when he's got tired, achy wings drooping behind him and his hands are full of treasures.

Week - 708

And Then There Was Silence: Part Six
by theschizophrenicpunk
Description: The assassin has been slowly stalking the Scorchio through the bustling streets of Market Town, hiding in and watching from the shadows as the thief talks to every shady merchant he finds, desperate to find a buyer for the stolen goods.

Week - 709

And Then There Was Silence: Part Seven
by theschizophrenicpunk
Description: The sun is only just beginning to set, but the rocky cliffs that surround the town of Cogham like silent sentinels cast shadows so fierce upon the land they shelter that, within their ring of protection, it is dark enough to look like dusk. A few Vullards circle the mountains from overhead, as if anticipating a catastrophe to happen in the valley below. If everything goes correctly, they may not be wrong…

Week - 710

Celebrity Fashion Trade: Villain Edition
by theschizophrenicpunk
Description: Things get interesting when Kanrik, the Werelupe King and the Gelert Assassin trade outfits!

Week - 712

Simeon's Song: Part One
by theschizophrenicpunk
Description: Ember is standing in the threshold to her kids' peaceful Market Town home, panting and sweating after a frantic run all the way from Werelupe Woods. She's taken a wide stance, as if preparing for a fight, holding a carved bone dagger she doesn't quite know how to use in one hand and half-eaten peachpa in the other. In her panicked rush, she had thrown open the heavy door, sending it slamming against the wall.

Week - 713

Simeon's Song: Part Two
by theschizophrenicpunk
Description: The terror-filled tension that hangs in the air seems to make the sun disappear and force the trees to lean in, smothering. The Gelert Assassin rotates his sword's hilt in his hand agitatedly – threateningly – but Ember still tries her best to remain calm. She doesn't look away from his shadowed honeycomb eyes.

Week - 714

Carrot Cake
by theschizophrenicpunk
Description: "Ugh, Emmy, I'm not sure if I can pull this off..." The Maraquan Carma doesn't say anything. It's an hour until dawn in the camp of the Ixi Raiders of Cogham, and Mer is about to lose his mind. That is, if he hasn't completely lost it already.

Week - 716

Sir Tormund Ellis: A Documentary: Part One
by theschizophrenicpunk
Description: hank you for tuning in to this TruNeo® historical documentary! TruNeo® — where the stories are Tru, and the Neo is YOU!™

The following is a compilation of interviews conducted by several of our TruNeo® team members which took place from 21.7.Y8 through 13.3.Y9. The individuals interviewed for this documentary have expressed knowledge or concern on our documentary's subject, Sir Tormund Ellis, on a personal basis.


Week - 717

Sir Tormund Ellis: A Documentary: Part Two
by theschizophrenicpunk
Description: I trained officially with my sword before him, and I got sent into those disgusting sewers before him, and I woke up at the crack of dawn before him, and I think I might have even been Master Torak's favourite before him — I swear. But, you know, the day he came in, there was this... aura around him, like he was constantly surrounded by light motes.

Week - 718

Sir Tormund Ellis: A Documentary: Part Three
by theschizophrenicpunk
Description: Tor was the first person I saw after I had fallen from Faerieland, and I'm honestly really glad about that. Partly because a huge part of me was worried that everyone else in the kingdom had been possessed the way my mentor Seradar was, but also because, honestly, I don't know how I would have survived that first monster attack without his help.

Week - 719

Sir Tormund Ellis: A Documentary: Part Four
by theschizophrenicpunk
Description: Disrespectful. That's what it is. Disrespectful! Not even those stupid, smelly Werelupes get up in my swamp like that, 'less I tell ol' kingy and his little servants to fetch me some ingredients. No, they stay away, because they know I don't deal with their nonsense, and the king has learned by now not to send anybody my way, 'less he wants more of his so-called "warriors" turned into Blechies.

Week - 720

Sir Tormund Ellis: A Documentary: Part Five
by theschizophrenicpunk
Description: ll of us had been captured — every last one! Those Ixis went mad from those clouds, I tell you. Absolutely mad. They stormed the town, and they kidnapped us all, and they held us all prisoner in the volcanic region beneath the cliffs. We were doomed! What? Well... well, yes, the heroes did save us... But it took forever!

Week - 722

Acquaintances
by theschizophrenicpunk
Description: Brightvale castle is almost always silent, especially once the moon rises. Early to bed and early to rise makes Neopets, uh... something, something, and wise. Roberta's heard her uncle recite that proverb a million times over, but she always forgets how it ends.

Week - 732

Annoying Kanrik
by theschizophrenicpunk
Description: I think a better question would be "Why are there so many?"

Week - 733

Clouds Over Cogham: Part One
by theschizophrenicpunk
Description: Mer’s frantic pleading is swallowed by the lava along with the rocks that still fall from the ceiling. The heat from the volcano dries his tears to his cheeks, yet still isn’t warm enough to soothe the tenseness in his aching arms. His eyes are sore from the saltstains and heatwaves. His breathing is shallow and plagued with ash.

Week - 734

Clouds Over Cogham: Part Two
by theschizophrenicpunk
Description: A hum of contemplation. A foot tapping anxiously on cold marble floors. “Mm... No, no, but...” The humming continues. “Well, do you know of a town called... Cogham?”

Week - 735

Clouds Over Cogham: Part Three
by theschizophrenicpunk
Description: Nobody wants to look towards the sound, but everyone feels drawn to it. Nobody wants to see what they fear is there, but they need to know for certain — know whether or not they need to hide. They whip their heads around desperately, praying that the sound isn’t the sonic manifestation of their worst fears being realised, but their hopes are not heard above the din of retribution.

Week - 736

Clouds Over Cogham: Part Four
by theschizophrenicpunk
Description: Squire Tormund redirects his disdainful glare to the old Lupe knight who has just appeared beside him, though the fury is obviously misplaced. For a few seconds before responding, he looks back down the castle hallway towards the dining room where the lazy Sir Harlag sits feasting, and the squire gives a frustrated grunt.

Week - 737

Clouds Over Cogham: Part Five
by theschizophrenicpunk
Description: Maybe if the village wasn’t so consumed in smoke, and he wasn’t choking on the taste of cruel fire magic, and the screaming wasn’t so loud that he can barely hear his own thoughts, he could charge in valiantly like a storybook hero.

Week - 738

Clouds Over Cogham: Part Six
by theschizophrenicpunk
Description: Then, finally, the sound of cruel laughter. “Well, it’s no matter, my sister. That was only plan A. There’s always more to be done. And, if I remember correctly, you’ve already thought up a rather fun backup plan, haven’t you?”

Week - 739

Clouds Over Cogham: Part Seven
by theschizophrenicpunk
Description: In wintertime, and often in the surrounding autumn and spring, darkness will swallow the land, and the rainclouds will take over. It's never a bad thing, though. Even when the skies turn black and the fog grows blinding, it's a comforting embrace.

Week - 740

Clouds Over Cogham: Part Eight
by theschizophrenicpunk
Description: Sunlight. Actual sunlight. It’s barely been an hour since Tor and Roberta last felt the sun shining down upon them — since they’d been in the thankfully still-freed city of Brightvale — but the clouds’ smothering pressure had already convinced them that they’d never feel warm again.

Week - 741

Clouds Over Cogham: Part Nine
by theschizophrenicpunk
Description: The assassin's glare is pure acid as he looks up once more towards the knight with which he duels. Desperate now, he stands straight and opens his arms, then his entire being begins to glow with intense nova magic. Tor takes a few worried steps back at the sight. Roberta watches in awe from a distance. "This ends now!"

Week - 742

Clouds Over Cogham: Part Ten
by theschizophrenicpunk
Description: The faerie’s clouds cling to the land like fog. They weave through the trees, and they caress the grass. They swirl like smoke around peoples’ eyes, and their presence hangs low like a canopy of death.

Week - 743

Clouds Over Cogham: Part Eleven
by theschizophrenicpunk
Description: If the heartache of loss could be summarised in sound, it would be the din that fills Cogham as the villagers are dragged to the site of their inevitable demise. The fires burn bright, and the hatred burns brighter, and the world is aglow in a sickly gold, blanketed by a warmth that feels strangely like frostbite.

Week - 744

Clouds Over Cogham: Part Twelve
by theschizophrenicpunk
Description: He wars with the sorceress, clashing violets and blues. He wars with himself — with the faerie that’s claimed his mind. He wars with them all... and all three wars, he loses.

Week - 747

KATIPO I: Restart: Part One
by theschizophrenicpunk
Description: our hair fell and curled over your shoulders in perfect spirals, gold like a ghostly honey dripping from the seams of your lapel. That night had been going well up until that point, but your appointed mod was extremely late, and your patience was beginning to wane at an exponential rate.

Week - 748

KATIPO I: Restart: Part Two
by theschizophrenicpunk
Description: The alien’s house is a castle-like mansion, perched on top of an empty mountain in Shenkuu like the nest of a lone Vullard. It’s got cream-coloured walls and tall, red-framed windows with dozens of horizontal panes jutting through them.

Week - 749

KATIPO I: Restart: Part Three
by theschizophrenicpunk
Description: It’s 7:30pm exactly, and you’re staring up at Riff’s house and worrying over whether or not you actually got enough information from the alien to make this trip worthwhile. Riff’s typically pretty good at putting together puzzles with only a handful of the pieces, and he’s got some weird sixth sense when it comes to knowing what other people had said during interrogations that he wasn’t even present for, but you still sometimes worry.

Week - 750

KATIPO I: Restart: Part Four
by theschizophrenicpunk
Description: The place you’re supposed to meet Rhi is far too loud and cramped for your tastes. It’s a seedy little joint in the middle of the Fairgrounds, small and suffocating between a gym and a Spooky Foods shop. It used to be a fabric store, if you remember correctly, and it seems to have shrunk since then. It smells like coconut milk outside — probably from the shy stand that’s not too far away, but, well... who really knows with this place...

Week - 751

KATIPO I: Restart: Part Five
by theschizophrenicpunk
Description: You can see farms on the hills where future knights do their morning chores, and you can see castles in the distance where heroes plan their next journey. The fields of flowers seem endless, and the bright-coloured flags that dot the dirt paths to and from the neighbouring towns seem almost surreal in their mystical beauty.

 
Search the Neopian Times




Great stories!


---------

Peas Help
Time to save some peaple!

by iswimmings

---------

The Greatest Show In Neopia!: Part Three
The small grass hut rang with laughter as the four Neopian friends talked and joked together deep into the starry night. Kadar and Connie had found their missing companion, Jarvis, eating from a huge bowl of Bone Soup that had been offered to him by the incredibly hospitable mutant Krawk.

by chavo_guerrero

---------

A Review of the Best Coffee in Neopia
As we prepare ourselves for the weather to get colder, why not head down to the Coffee Cave (found in Neopia Central's Art Centre) to try some of the incredible coffee products that are offered? While some may think that coffee is only a way to feel more awake in the morning, they are terribly misconceived!

by goldie11147

---------

Gormball Behind the Scenes
Thyassa has zero chill

by vanillafilth

---------

Happy Bashing!
They never let us have any fun!

Also by shutianlei3333

by frankie8492




Submit your stories, articles, and comics using the new submission form.