Halloween Advice from Jhudora

JHUDORA'S LAIR - Since the Faerieland Gazette decided to stop running my advice column (how was I supposed to know someone would actually try giving out tainted Poisonous Lollypops at the Faerie Festival? Can't you people take a joke?), I've decided to give the readers of the Neopian Times a taste of my amazing advice-giving skills. I, Jhudora, have received a lot of letters recently asking for advice about Halloween, so that will be the focus of this advice column, written by me, everyone's favorite dark faerie!

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Dear Jhudora: I want to dress up as Xandra this year for Halloween. Will it be safe for me to go trick-or-treating in Faerieland while dressed as Xandra, or are you faeries all still mad about that whole petrification thing? ~Cautious

Dear Cautious: Go for it, and let me know when and where you'll be trick-or-treating - I don't want to miss this! ~Jhudora

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Dear Jhudora: I'm hosting a large Halloween party at my palace in Faerieland, and I'm wondering whether or not to serve spooky and gross foods from the Haunted Woods. What's your advice? ~Queen Fyora

Dear Queen Fyora: I'm glad you asked, Your Highness; we don't want a repeat of that Almost Gummy Rat incident from two years ago, now do we? (Honestly, Xandra could have saved herself all the trouble of casting that petrification spell, and just spiked the punch at the Faerie Festival with essence of Poisonous Jelly, then taken over during the ensuing food poisoning epidemic.) Anyway, I'd suggest not serving any food from the Haunted Woods at your party. Instead, get some foods from the Faerie Foods shop that have the words 'dark' or 'Jhudora' in the name, such as Jhudora's Cupcakes, Dark Faerie Apples, and Jhudora's Exploding Muffins. That way you can stick with the scary theme for Halloween and keep your guests from getting food poisoning. ~Jhudora

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Dear Jhudora: I love your hair! What color hair dye do you use to get those green highlights in your hair? ~March Hair

Dear March Hair: I'll have you know my hair color is entirely natural, even the green highlights. Illusen, on the other hand, uses a shade of hair dye called Summer Leaves to get those hideous green streaks in her hair. ~Jhudora

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Dear Jhudora: My evil sister is constantly making fun of me and spreading malicious rumors about me. How can I make her stop? If she won't stop, then how should I get back at her? ~Definitely Not an Earth Faerie from Meridell

Dear Definitely Not an Earth Faerie from Meridell: Illusen, I know this was written by you! Stop trying to sabotage my advice column! And why couldn't you come up with a better pseudonym? I thought even you had enough brains for that! ~Jhudora

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Dear Jhudora: I really want to dress up as you for Halloween, but I can't seem to find any clothes that even remotely resemble your outfit. Help! ~Jhudora Wannabe

Dear Jhudora Wannabe: I can see how that might be a problem. I've come up with a Jhudora-like outfit you could try, as well as an outfit that will make you look like the Darkest Faerie, who happens to be my role model.

For the Jhudora costume you will need:

• Xweetok morphing potion (preferably purple or green)
• Side Ponytail Purple Wig
• Side Ponytail Green Wig and scissors (optional)
• Space Gypsy Xweetok Dress
• Dark Faerie Wings
• Jhudora's Bluff Background

Drink the Xweetok morphing potion so that you will be able to wear the Space Gypsy Xweetok Dress (which is the only dress I can find at Uni's Clothing that looks even remotely like mine - sadly it costs around 800,000 NP on the Trading Post). Put on the Space Gypsy Xweetok Dress and the Dark Faerie Wings (these wings go for around 250,000 NP on the Trading Post). Sadly, there isn't a Jhudora Wig, so you'll have to make do with the next best thing, the Side Ponytail Purple Wig, which is an NC item from the current batch of Castle Nox items (and how it it fair that there's an Illusen Wig but no Jhudora Wig?). For the most authentic Jhudora look, use the scissors to cut some strands from the Side Ponytail Green Wig and paste/tie/tape them to the Side Ponytail Purple Wig. You will now look at least remotely like me. This very expensive costume would be an excellent choice for anyone planning on going trick-or-treating in Meridell.

For the Darkest Faerie costume you will need:

• Darkest Faerie Dress
• Lustrous Long Black Wig
• Blue Warlock Battle Wings OR Dark Princess Wings
• Faerieland's Destruction Background OR any Altador-themed background

This costume is almost entirely composed of NeoCash items, so if you don't have any NeoCash you might want to consider a different costume. The Blue Warlock Battle Wings were from the first set of Castle Nox: Corridors of Chance items, so if you don't have them you'll have to either trade for them or buy the Dark Princess Wings from the NC Mall. This would be a great costume to wear while trick-or-treating in Altador and Faerieland.

I agree with you that the lack of Jhudora-themed clothing items in Neopia is atrocious! There should at least be a Jhudora Wig, if not an entire Jhudora Costume Pack from the NC Mall. After I finish this article, I think I'll go pay a visit to TNT Headquarters and threaten the TNT staff until they make more Jhudora-themed clothes. ~Jhudora

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Dear Jhudora; I really want a Bartamus like the ones that are always flying around your lair, but I can't find them at any of the petpet stores. Where can I buy a Bartamus? -Wants a Bartamus

Dear Wants a Bartamus: Ah, the Bartamus, the perfect petpet for any Jhudora minion. I breed these little beauties myself, and hand them out as prizes to anyone who completes my 41st quest. You might be able to find one at the Trading Post or Auction House, but they will be expensive! Besides, wouldn't you rather help me by completing my quests? I can assure you, all those quest items go towards destroying Illu-erm, go towards helping Neopia. ~Jhudora

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Dear Jhudora: I'm one of your biggest fans, and I'm hosting a Jhudora-themed Halloween party at my Neohome this Halloween. My guests and I would be truly grateful if you would be the guest of honor at my party. Please say you'll come! ~Jhudora's #1 Fan

Dear Jhudora's #1 Fan: First off, I don't do special appearances on request unless forced to by Queen Fyora, and second, I already have plans to attend Queen Fyora's Halloween party (okay, so she hasn't actually invited me, but it's not like that's going to stop me). ~Jhudora

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I hear a mob of angry questers approaching my lair, so I'm going to sign off now. Remember to have a spooky and fun Halloween, and make sure you test any suspicious-looking trick-or-treat goodies you get by feeding them to your younger brother or sister.

Disclaimer: This article was written purely for entertainment purposes, and the advice given above is not meant to be taken seriously. If you do choose to follow the advice given in this article, you do so at your own risk. Neither the author nor the editor of the Neopian Times takes any responsibility for any fines, Mortog transformations spells, or other negative consequences incurred by following the advice given in this article. You have been warned. No faeries, Neopets, petpets, petpetpets, Neopian Times writers, TNT staff members, younger siblings, or wearables were harmed in the making of this article.