The Pest Professor

      Just the way Rhae liked it.

      The coconut Jubjub knew most natives didn’t care for tourists but not him. His favourite activities were surfing and paddleboarding. Tourists looking for something a bit more adventurous than working on their tans came to him. Not only did he get to do what he loved but he got paid for it!

      Who didn’t want that?

      Today was no different. Rhae was near the shore, teaching a young rainbow Chia how to balance on a board. It was not going well but he had to admit the little guy was persistent. Thankfully, Rhae had the patience that only a big fat paycheck could give. That’s when it happened.

      “Success!”

      Startled, the Chia tumbled into the water with a splash.

      Rhae looked towards the beach to see the strangest yellow Kougra he had ever seen and that was saying something. After so many years working with tourists, he thought he had seen everything. Though, this certainly took the cake! The Kougra was wearing safari clothes that a lot of tourists favoured for some reason, with magnifying goggles on his head, a long-handled net in hand and a big tank on his back. In one gloved hand he held a small glass capsule that held a…Pinchit?

      That’s what all the fuss was about? The Pinchit was common on beaches and had a crabby attitude to boot! Most ‘pets avoided them as much as possible. Yet, this Kougra danced with glee over his find. It didn’t make any sense.

      Tourists!

      “Um, a little help please?” The rainbow Chia was still struggling to get onto his board.

      “Sorry, mate. You’re doing great! You’ll be surfing in no time,” Rhae encouraged, returning his focus back to the tourist that was literally paying him to pay attention to them.

     ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

      Yooyu stood back and admired his wares. He was a woodcarver and made a variety of wares that ranged from simple utensils to complex designs. This particular batch had taken a month to complete. He was pleased with how everything had come out. Now there was only one thing left to do.

      “Alright, Cedar. I guess it's time to face the tour-”

      They were interrupted by a crashing sound as a large figure stumbled directly into Yooyu’s woodwork. Wood was sent flying and Yooyu snarled as he got a good look at the clumsy oaf that had ruined his wares. It was a Kougra like him but this one was no native. His ridiculous getup and contraption on his back made that clear. He also had the oblivious look that all tourists wore.

      “Watch it!” Yooyu snarled.

      “Oh, I am! Just look at this Veespa I found! Island Petpetpets have more vibrant colours and markings than their mainland cousins. Isn’t it wonderful?” The yellow Kougra shoved a glass vial with a purple and gold pest in Yooyu’s face.

      Yooyu felt his temper rise. He couldn’t stand tourists. They trampled all over the island as if they owned it. They carried around their noise and their trash and their ignorance everywhere they went. They ruined everything! This tourist was no different.

      Yooyu barely stopped himself from shoving the other Kougra away. It didn’t pay to be rude to tourists. “I wasn’t talking about your little pest!”

      “Oh.” The other Kougra blinked at him as if baffled that he wasn’t as fascinated with the Veespa as he was. “Then what were you talking about?”

      Yooyu waved a paw at the ruined woodwork scattered around them.

      The other Kougra looked around. “What a mess! Someone should collect this wood for a bonfire.”

      “I should collect you for the bonfire,” Yooyu growled, tail beginning to lash.

      “What was that?”

      “Nothing.”

      “Well, I must carry on. The work of a Petpetpet Professor is never finished, you know!”

      “More like Pest Professor.”

      At last, the kooky Kougra continued on, his open-toed sandals trampling all over Yooyu’s work. The sound of splintering wood made the Tyrannian Kougra clench his jaw so hard that he was afraid he would break a tooth. The jungle swallowed up the tourist but Yooyu could hear the rustle of the undergrowth and the tourist mumbling about ‘science’ and ‘discoveries’ and ‘research’ for a few excruciating moments more before it finally faded. The normal jungle noises were restored with a roar.

      Yooyu looked at Cedar, his Tyrannian Angelpuss. “Come on. Let’s get this mess cleaned up and assess the damage.”

      As he got to work, Yooyu briefly considered letting his friends know that a tourist was loose on the island. Then he looked at the shattered remains of a carving he had spent weeks working on. He growled, throwing the ruined piece to the ground. No, let them figure it out on their own. He had enough to deal with already.

     ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

      James was perched at the very top of the tallest tree on Mystery Island. It was her favourite spot on the island and she also called it home. She loved being able to look out over the jungle and see the ocean on the horizon. She liked that she didn’t have to deal with tourists here. No one ventured this deep into the jungle.

      That’s when she heard an unfamiliar voice raised in excitement. Surprised, she slithered down the tree to investigate. As she drew closer to the jungle floor, her sharp eyes picked out a large glass contraption that almost appeared to be floating in midair. Until she drew closer and made out a yellow Kougra almost hidden by the contraption on his back. Though what alarmed her most was the fact that he was covered head to toe in a Moquot swarm.

      “Are you alright?”

      “I’m splendid! These fine specimens were looking for a nice perch.”

      Looking for their next meal, more like, James thought. “I wouldn’t do that. Moquot exposure can make you sick.”

      “Oh no. They’ve accepted me into their environment.”

      Well, I haven’t. "What are you doing all the way out here?”

      “I’m a Petpetpet Professor here to study the species found on the island.”

      “Is that so?” It was then that James had an idea. She smiled at the Kougra. “In that case, I can take you to a place where there are lots! That should keep you busy!” And far away from me!

      “That would be terrific!”

      “Then follow me.”

      The Island Hissi led the yellow Kougra through the jungle. James couldn’t believe how loud the Kougra was. She never had to look back to see if he was still there; she could hear him tramping through the undergrowth. As they neared their destination, there was an abundance of tropical fruits and flowers.

      “Here we are,” James said with a wave of her wing.

      “Thank you for your assistance!” The yellow Kougra walked past her, already adjusting his magnifying goggles snooping under every bush and rock.

      “Goodbye!” Good riddance!

     ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

      Kina was surrounded by flowers and fruit. They thrived in the constant heat and humidity. She spent the majority of her time with Melody, her Carmariller and her partner, Jing. She loved being surrounded by the sweet-smelling flowers and fruits that gave the island its colour. It was just the way she liked it.

      So, it was a shock to stumble upon a stranger. She’d never seen someone quite like him before! “Are you here for some flowers?”

      “Oh no! What would I do with flowers? I’m here for the Petpetpets! A nice young Hissi led me straight here. I’ve documented Lady Blurgs, Glymes, Fleafs and Rainblugs already!”

      Kina knew the Hissi was James. Not many others knew about Kina and Jing’s place so close to Geraptiku. “Oh, I’m sure she was happy to help.” Get rid of you. “Petpetpets thrive on the island, just like flowers.”

      “Isn’t it wonderful?”

      Kina smiled politely.

      The Kougra seemed harmless enough, if oblivious to everything except Petpetpets. He continued to poke around, exclaiming every time he found a new discovery. He was difficult to ignore, as he constantly tried to show off his collection. His obnoxious behaviour was rather difficult to take. Would it never end?

      Kina’s patience was wearing thin, but she didn’t know how to get him to leave.

      It was then that Jing returned from a delivery. He took in the scene at a glance, finishing with a raised eyebrow at Kina.

      Kina shook her head.

      Jing frowned.

      The dimensional Mynci was even more reclusive than the orange Ruki. They worked well together because they were so similar. If it didn’t have anything to do with flowers, he wasn’t interested. He was protective of his privacy and didn’t take well to strangers. This stranger was no exception.

      Something had to be done.

      Jing began to walk over to their intruder, waving to Kina to come with him.

      The yellow Kougra was on his hands and knees, partially hidden by a bush, tail flicking in excitement.

      Jing put his hands on his hips and cleared his throat.

      The yellow Kougra didn’t respond.

      A second clearing of the throat did nothing.

      Jing exchanged an exasperated look with Kina.

      “Excuse me,” Kina said.

      The yellow Kougra backed out of the bush, brushing off his hands as he turned around. He blinked in surprise at them, clearly not expecting them to stand there. “Hello there,” he said, looking at Jing.

      “It’s getting late, and you should really be leaving the jungle before it gets dark,” Kina said.

      The Kougra looked up at the sky, the jungle already dark. “I was hoping to stay a little longer, but I have collected enough data.” He frowned, rubbing his chin in thought. “Now I need to figure out how to get back…” He trailed off as he turned in a slow circle, making a few false starts, clearly uncertain about the way to go.

      “Don’t worry about that. My partner, Jing, can get you back.”

      “Splendid!”

      Jing opened a portal directly to the island docks, clearly impatient to see their guest gone.

      “Oh my!” The yellow Kougra gaped, stepping forward and testing the portal by sticking his arm through before pulling it back. “How convenient! Thanks for all your help!” He stepped through the portal and Jing closed it quickly.

      Kina and Jing breathed a sigh of relief.

      “I’m so glad that’s over,” Kina said. “I don’t know what I would have done if you hadn’t shown up.”

      Jing smiled and tipped his head in a silent question.

      “Dinner sounds great!”

     ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

      “I hope you had a good time on our island,” the ticket seller said.

      The yellow Kougra beamed. “Oh, I did!”

      The Island Lenny was immediately sorry she asked as the yellow Kougra began to wax poetic about Petpetpets of all things. Not the weather, not the golden beaches, not the surf. Not even the food! She couldn’t believe her luck. Her eyes glazed over as she pretended to listen.

      “You’re going to miss your boat!” the Island Lenny finally interrupted.

      “Hmmm?” The yellow Kougra broke off his long-winded explanation on the differences between the Moquot and the Mozito- fascinating stuff! -to look towards the docks.

      The captain was making a last call for passengers.

      “Oh my!” The yellow Kougra held onto his hat before he broke into a light jog to board the boat.

      The Island Lenny shook her head. She was so glad her shift was almost over. The thing she had to put up with from tourists! Though, this one certainly topped them all. At least he was finally leaving!

      Aboard the ship, the yellow Kougra settled into his cabin. He took off his mobile Petpetpet habitat, setting his net on his bunk and pulled off his goggles. It had been a long day but so worth it! He grinned as he admired his new additions.

      The Kougra pulled out a worn leather journal from his vest pocket. It was dirty, covered in bits of leaf and twig, with waterlogged pages and bites missing from it to boot! He ran a fond hand over the cover before cracking it open. Then, he began to write.

      12th of Running, Y12

      My Mystery Island trip was a success!

      I worked my way from shore to interior. I collected several specimens and documented new varieties. I met many natives, and they were all so friendly and helpful! I’ve gathered plenty of data and I’ve got a few ideas on how my fellow Neopians can help me with it. I’ve learned so much and I have enough to keep me busy for a while yet.

      I can’t wait to come back!

      ~ Professor Milton Clodbottle

     The End.