All That Glitters Is Not Necessarily Golden

     Just to the east of the sprawling, orange-hued main colony on Neopia's solitary moon lay the sporting complex that acted as the headquarters of the Kreludan Yooyuball Federation. A grey dome-shaped building at its centre that was inspired by the national team's emblem, the newly opened facility consisted of several purple and orange coloured pods that featured the latest sports technology as well as a number of training pitches both indoors and out. Building work had been interrupted on more than one occasion by meteor showers unfortunately, with the main outdoor training pitch currently unusable due to the sheer number of meteorites scattered around. Inside, however, everything was beginning to get up and running.

     Kreludor Team Captain Derlyn Fonnet had petitioned the Federation's board repeatedly for a dedicated training facility, having long since tired of sharing dated equipment with the Grundo's Gym franchise that lay in the main colony. With the team's continued success and fears increasing of another artificial gravity malfunction scuppering this, the defacto Head Coach had got her wish and she was finally able to organise a proper training camp at her longed for headquarters. With a spring in her step that she could finally be sure wasn't caused by a technological glitch, the Purple Gnorbu exited the team's dormitories and headed towards the main indoor training pitch situated below the grey dome.

     Soil underfoot, she paused before turning to her goalkeeper.

     Jurin T. didn't know what to say.

     In front of the teammates sat quite a sight. Taking up most of the other end of the training pitch appeared to be some sort of very large, mechanical, Grundo-like being. With stubby legs, very long arms and a box-shaped head complete with narrow drooping antennae it was nothing like either of them had ever seen before. And they'd both seen quite a lot since moving from Neopia to Kreludor after being recruited by the Federation in the early years of the Altador Cup. Almost as impressive was the way that both Qlydae Wegg and Zenor Kevix were clambering all over whatever it was. Clearly they were trying to get the automaton up and running. Somehow.

     Before Jurin could muster a response, the Red Ruki was interrupted.

     "Arrrr, ain't she a beaut Capt'n!" beamed Ealyn Hawkshanks, as the Pirate Quiggle strolled over from the twin Grundo terrors' restoration project. He hadn't lost any of his swagger from his Krawk Island days, nor his love for anything metal and shiny. The centre forward never understood why more pirates didn't try their luck in space - as far as he was concerned, this was where the true treasures could be found. Just like his latest acquisition. "The lads think with all their technowizardry they'll be gettin' 'er up and runnin' in no time. She'll be perfect for all sorts of your fancy drills!"

     As Ealyn grinned, Derlyn frowned. She didn't doubt Wegg and Kevix's abilities with technology, the exact opposite. With Wegg having grown up during the Kreludor Civil War and Kevix having endured tyrannical oppression on the Virtupets Space Station as a youngster, both were forced to become more than adept in such matters just to survive. In her experience, Wegg could fix the mechanical side of most things whilst Kevix was a pretty nifty hacker. No, she trusted them. It was that thing she didn't trust. The Gnorbu had become admittedly a bit of a technophobe. With good reason. Jurin sensed his Captain's tension, probing his teammate in slight jest, "So... where'd you dig it up then?"

     It was Ealyn's turn to frown. "Harrr, harrr, very funny," the Pirate Quiggle retorted, rolling his eyes. The Red Ruki's wry smile quickly faded when Derlyn flashed him her classic look of general disdain. It was not the time for swashbuckling puns. "I'll have you know, Jay, that I purchased this here contraption for a very reasonable price from two lads down at the mine!" Derlyn and Jurin's eyes widened. "S'pposedly they've been upgradin' a lot of the old S950 Kreludan Defenders to the latest models. Now, I'll admit that I didn't ask too many questions but they were going to throw the poor girl out and I just couldn't 'ave that. It'd be such a waste."

     A shiver went up the goalkeeper's thorax. Jurin's sports career had taken him far from his roots and although he considered himself a proud adopted Kreludan, a part of his heart would always reside in the city of Sakhmet. A proud place that had once been attacked by the very same entity that was thought to secretly control the Kreludan Mining Corporation, not that the authorities on Kreludor could ever prove the link officially. Still, it was enough for him to want to speak out. He respected Ealyn immensely but knew his friend never really paid much attention to Neopia-wide affairs. "Mate, you can't trust anything that comes from that mine," he warned, years of playing with a pirate having left their mark, "It's ran by Dr Sl-"

     In an instant, a purple paw covered his mouth.

     The "S" word was banned amongst members of the Federation.

     Removing her paw, Derlyn sighed heavily. It was too early in the morning to deal with this. "Just... be careful," she advised the Quiggle, who had clearly been taken aback by his teammate's reactions to his latest ware. Looking up at the Kreludan Defender one last time, the Purple Gnorbu got a bad feeling in the pit of her stomach. And it wasn't just because she was hungry. "If you need us, we'll be having some breakfast." Before Jurin could point out that he had already eaten, his Captain had grabbed him by the scruff of his training top and was dragging him towards the Cafeteria pod. For his own well-being.

     -----

     Down a short corridor from the central dome, the purple Cafeteria pod was still in earshot of the antics that were ongoing on the training pitch. Something about not crossing wires. Or cutting wires. Derlyn shook her head. At the entrance of the room were situated several devices, the next more fantastical than the last, that were capable of concocting any meal that the players craved from only the best ingredients imported directly from Neopia. After the mishap with the artificial gravity, Derlyn preferred the machines further on - the refrigerators. Tucking a box of Moon Crunch Cereal under her arm, the Purple Gnorbu picked up a carton of Milk and a bowl before heading over to join Jurin at the tables at the far end.

     When the headquarters was fully operational, the Cafeteria was set to be used by all manner of support staff and team administrators but as of right now the only pets inside were the team. As Derlyn sat down to eat her breakfast, the silence between the Grundos' murmurings was slightly off-putting. Everything was so state of the art that any whirring was almost inaudible. Background noise of everyday life was probably the only thing that she missed from either the main colony to the west or her younger days travelling around Neopia with her merchant parents. The colony was the closest thing she had had to a home for so long. But she had more pressing concerns at the moment. As Jurin took a swig of a Galaxy Energy Drink, his Captain asked quite bluntly, "...How long until that thing tries to exterminate us?"

     Jurin spluttered.

     That was one way to break the silence.

     "During training," she queried, eyes narrowing, "or after training?"

     He knew she was being serious. Putting his flask down, the Red Ruki attempted to reassure his friend as best as he could, "I don't trust that thing either, Dee, but no-one is getting... exterminated." Receiving another one of the Gnorbu's looks of disdain, he continued regardless, "With any luck, it's so old that the guys won't be able to get it running before you convince them to get rid of it." Derlyn shook her head once more before finishing her Cereal. As Jurin went to pick up his Energy Drink, a loud tremor went through the base causing the table to wobble and his flask to fall to the floor. Moments later, his Captain swore that she had heard the word... pulverise?

     "That was fast."

     Leaping from her seat, Derlyn raced towards the Cafeteria's entrance with Jurin only a step or so behind. Ears on alert, she heard a scream heading towards the two of them. Grabbing her goalkeeper by one of his arms, she flung him in front of her. Skidding into the corridor, the Ruki instinctively caught the large object coming at him. As the Gnorbu arrived, she was relieved to see that Kevix was still in one piece. Relief that quickly evaporated as Ealyn and Wegg dashed towards her at full speed. Before she could ask what had happened, she could see for herself. Peering through the entrance to the corridor, the S950 Kreludan Defender was fully operational. Not bad for a morning's work.

     Glowering back at the behemoth as she stood protectively in front of her team, something caught the corner of Derlyn's eye. On the wall beside her was a small lever with the label "In Case of Meteor Shower, Please Pull". Not pausing to think, the Purple Gnorbu grabbed the lever and pulled it down. But nothing happened. Somewhat underwhelmed, she was about to pull it again when a loud siren finally blared followed by the automated message: "Meteor Shower in progress. Please remain inside the base. Meteor Shower in progress. Please remain-" On a loop. She groaned loudly. Great.

     Her gaze turning back to the Kreludan Defender, another tremor went through the headquarters. Though this one was not caused by the giant automaton. Metal barriers slowly began to come down across the base's portholes and doors, as part of its defence systems against incoming meteorites. Realising that they could become trapped alongside this thing, Derlyn shouted to her team, "Everypet OUT!" Scarpering back into the Cafeteria pod, the Gnorbu led her colleagues past the gizmos and chairs before bursting out onto the surface of the moon through the delivery entrance. The door's metal barrier slammed down behind them. At least they were safe. For now.

     -----

     Rushing out of the Federation's under siege headquarters, the sudden loss of the base's artificial gravity caught the team off guard. Instantly, the pets found themselves flying across the cratered surface of Kreludor with very little control over their destination. Soon enough, the quintet bounded onto their meteorite-strewn outdoor training pitch and just about managed to outstretch their paws to cling onto their mercifully bolted down goalposts. Clambering down onto the pitch with great care, they all just about made it. Taking a few moments to regain her space-legs, Derlyn's attention quickly returned to the grey central dome - and its less than welcome new technological marvel.

     "Does anypet have a communicator with them?" queried Kevix, catching his Captain by surprise. As his teammates turned to face the Blue Grundo, the right forward decided to elaborate, "I know Gorix from my family's work in the Resistance, if I can pass a message on to him I might be able to find out how to shut that thing down." To his disappointment, they all shook their heads. Crestfallen, he couldn't help but mumble to himself, "This is all my fault... I can't believe I didn't recognise the programming..."

     The Purple Gnorbu lowered her eyebrows. "Don't say things like that," she spoke sternly before warming her tone, "This isn't anypet's fault... bar the glorified Clockwork Grundo, of course." Kevix smiled wryly at the apt analogy. "We just need some sort of pl-" It was Derlyn's turn to be interrupted. The surface below them jolted suddenly. Unlike earlier, this time the origin of the tremor was the Kreludan Defender. The quintet spun round to see the giant automaton bursting through the side of the grey central dome, masonry flying through the moon's thin atmosphere. So much for their new training base.

     "Our hull has been breached, Capt'n!"

     "I can see that."

     Lurching forward with menace, the S950 Kreludan Defender swung its large arms into the void of space before smashing them down into the ground in front of it. Team Kreludor found themselves walking backwards on their outdoor training pitch, trying not to take their eyes off the monster whilst at the same time trying not to walk into the meteorites scattered around. The space rocks varied wildly in size from small pebbles to those the same size as the Grundos, so when Derlyn backtracked straight into one of the biggest ones it hurt. Which gave her an idea. Whistling sharply to gain her teammates' attention just as she would in a Yooyuball game, the Purple Gnorbu grabbed one of the smaller meteorites and declared loudly, "FOR KRELUDOR!"

     Her teammates looked perplexed.

     They weren't being affected by any lack of oxygen.

     Oblivious to the lukewarm response, Derlyn flung the meteorite at the Kreludan Defender with all of her might. She knew that she didn't need any of her Yooyuball gear for this. If living on Kreludor for all of this time had taught her anything, it was two things. The first being that thanks to the lack of wind resistance caused by the moon's thin atmosphere, meteors hit anything at great speed with large thuds.

     And the second?

     Nothing wants to get caught in a meteor shower.

     As the Gnorbu predicted, the meteorite crashed into the Kreludan Defender with a satisfying thud. There was a reason why slingshots were such a popular toy on Kreludor, after all. The giant automaton lurched to the side but quickly regained its balance. No matter. Team Kreludor knew what they had to do. The quintet threw as many meteorites as they could find at the behemoth as quickly as they could, one after another. Although they bounced off, they were leaving their mark. Covered in dents and beginning to malfunction, the Kreludan Defender collapsed onto the cratered surface of the moon. Fearing the worst, Derlyn warned her friends, "Take cover!" It was too late. The giant automaton... shut down by itself.

     "That's it...?" complained Ealyn, "Where's the boom?!"

     "You sound disappointed!" joked Wegg, mightily relieved.

     Exhausted, the quintet too collapsed where they stood. Rolling onto her back, Derlyn looked up into the starless expanse of space above her. The only things that she could see twinkling were the pieces of masonry that had yet to fall back down to Kreludor. She... did not feel as downhearted as she thought she would. The damage to the headquarters was not the end of Neopia and certainly not the worst thing that had happened to them over the years. The Federation would have it fixed soon enough. The main thing was that her friends were alright. That was really the only thing that ever mattered to her. It was her turn for a wry smile.

     "I think we can call this training camp a success."

     The End.